The Right Side of Wrong

A High Bar: Part 1

Veronica's POV:

A few days later, Ivy and I are making coffee for the three of us when Harley calls us over to see something on Howie Mandel's talk show.

Harley: "Ladies, no rush, but Howie Mandel's showing how to turn Thanksgiving leftovers into an entire nativity scene."

Ivy: "Oh, my God!"

Me: "Wait, what?"

Ivy and I rush over to the couch with our coffee mugs, me carrying Harley's as well, as we sit beside her. Ivy's on Harley's right, and I'm on her left.

Howie: "Next, I'm gonna show you how to make a mashed potato Virgin Mary. But first, please welcome my, uh, surprise co-host. Uh, you know him as the clown prince of crime. Let's give it up for the Joker!"

Joker walks to stand beside Howie as he pulls him into a side hug with a laugh.

Harley: "Shit!"

Me: "Fuck!"

Ivy: "Damn it."

Frank: "Ooh."

Joker: "Get ready, America. Howie's got something he's dying to tell you."

Joker pulls off Howie's apron to reveal a bomb as Howie reads from a small cue card.

Howie: "You know what's stupid? Me, for playfully implying on yesterday's show that the celebrity villain couple, formerly known as JoQuinn, is no more."

Joker: "Thanks, Howie. When I dumped poor, sad what's-her-name-"

Frank: "She's right here."

Ivy & I: "Frank!"

Joker: "I promised I would respect her wishes to drift into the darkness of total anonymity. And, for the record, our couple name was Joker."

Harley: "Oh, that liar trying to blow up the cleanest and nicest talk show host in television!"

Me: "Just ignore him. He's baiting you."

Ivy: "Ronnie's right. It's not worth getting angry over."

Joker: "Sorry, but that's all the time we have today, Howie. And speaking of time, yours is running out."

Joker starts the bomb's countdown at 60 seconds, causing Howie to rush off-screen for help.

Howie: "I need a very brave wardrobe girl!"

Harley slams her bat into the TV in anger.

Ivy: "Jesus, Harls. this is why we don't put the good TV out."

Frank: "Good TV? Where you hiding that bad boy?"

Harley: "If he thinks I'm just gonna fade away into obscurity, he doesn't know what's coming."

Me: "Who cares? You're doing great. You got a banging new outfit, you started meditating..."

Harley: "I haven't started yet. I just downloaded the app."

Ivy: "That's the first step. You're an independent woman who doesn't care what other people think."

Harley: "Right! Who cares what Joker and his stupid Legion of Doom buddies think?"

Ivy & I: "Exactly!"

Frank: "Preach."

Harley: "Hell, I'll show them in person how little I care."

Ivy: "What? No. What are you doing?"

Harley: "Logging into Joker's calendar."

Me: "Oh, God, we're off the rails."

Frank: "No, let it play out."

Harley: "Oh, hey, there's a party at the Gotham Mint with the Legion of Doom guys tomorrow!"

Me: "Wait, I actually got an invite to that. The LOD's been trying to recruit me since my first fight with the Teen Titans."

Harley: "Great, if he wants to fuck with me in public, I will fuck right back!"

Ivy: "Please don't do this."

Frank: "Please do that shit."

Harley: "I'm just gonna show those guys how awesome I'm doing without him. Ronnie, they respect you, please, pretty please come with me? It'll be so fun! And, Ivy, you can meet a hot guy and use your cool love potion."

Ivy shows us the vial attached to her left wrist.

Ivy: "This isn't a love potion. It's my distilled pheromones. It makes men infatuated with me, and then kills them by turning them into plants."

Frank & Harley: "Right. A love potion."

Me: "Well, if it cheers you up, Harley, I'm in! Ive, what do you say?"

Ivy: "Fine. But, only to make sure you stay away from Joker."

I get a notification on my phone, and read it aloud to the others.

Me: "Oh shit. Howie exploded."

Harley, Ivy, & Frank: "No!"

Harley grabs my phone and tosses it into the air, before hitting it with her bat. Lesson number one as Harley's sister, keep a back-up of everything. Especially when she's pissed!

TO BE CONTINUED