The Right Side of Wrong

The Line: Part 4

Veronica's POV:

Now that the drama's over, it's time to steal that weather machine. Some guards are standing at both sides of the door to its containment room, so Cinderella's mouse shoots them in the neck with tranquilizer darts.

Harley: "Hey, what's he doing here? I thought he was loyal to fables."

Me: "Mercenaries are only loyal to the almighty dollar."

Clayface: "An adorable little soldier of fortune, isn't he?"

The doors open, but there seem to be no lasers guarding the machine. The mouse runs across the floor to test that theory and gives us the thumbs up. But when he reaches the weather machine, the lasers go off, and he's sliced into tiny pieces.

King Shark: "Look, if it wasn't lasers, it was gonna be lung cancer. I've never seen a mouse smoke unfiltered, human sized cigarettes to that degree."

Harley: "Ok, guys. If my body gets diced up by lasers, I don't know do something fun with it. Like, mail my ear to a random family and say, 'We have your daughter'. You know, something like that."

As a plan forms in my head, I conjure up a leather glove for Harley.

Me: "As intriguing as that sounds, hold this."

Harley puts on the leather glove as I shape-shift into a peregrine falcon, grab the machine in my claws, carefully place it in King Shark's hands, and land on the glove as Harley gently strokes my feathers.

Harley: "Who's a good little bird of prey? Hello, Legion of Doom."

{Time skip}

Harley's FaceTiming with the mayor as we all walk down the escalator. Harley asked me to stay in falcon form to intimidate him further. It's fine as long as I change back immediately after.

Harley: "That's right, mayor. We'll raise the temperature of Gotham by one degree every minute till you give us a billion dollars!"

I screech aloud as Harley rolls her eyes at her translation. Growing up, I trained her to speak in every form of an animal to make sure we could still communicate while I was in another form.

Harley: "And you produce Clayface's 'Fuller House' reboot, 'Fullest House'."

Clayface: "I have an inexpensive way in. Not more people, a smaller house."

Mayor: "You know what you and you're crew are, Ms. Quinn? A scourge."

Harley: "Hey, look at that, the Mayor upgraded us from 'nuisance' to 'scourge'."

Harley hangs up the phone, so I return to my human form beside her.

King Shark: "Ooh, we skipped over 'menace'? That's a big jump." 

Me: "That's what happens when you steal the unstealable."

We turn in shock as Queen of Fables stands before us with the Big Bad Wolf.

Fables: "Thanks for doin' that, by the way. I'll be taking that weather machine now. You fucked up, Harley."

Harley: "You know, I do a lot of that, so you're gonna have to be more specific."

Fables: "You pissed me off and then let me walk away in one piece? Rookie mistake, right, Big Bad?"

The Wolf growls in response.

Harley: "I can't believe you're doing this. I broke you out of Arkham! I even helped you sign up for Tinder so you can get your fuck on. I mean, we're friends."

Fables: "Sometimes, doing whatever it takes means fucking over your friends. Hand over that weather machine."

Harley: "Over my dead body."

Fables: "All right. How you wanna go? Little Bo Peep could beet the shit out of you with her shepherd's stick. Just tell me if you want casket open or closed."

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes between us, and a man appears midair before us with lightning powers.

Me: "What the hell kinda fairytale is he from?"

Psycho: "Well, from the looks of him, one of those Danish ones that's super racist."

Fables: "He's not with me."

The man sends a bolt of lightning at her storybook, turning it to ash.

Fables: "Uh, anyone have another magical storybook? Shit. I mean, is there a B. Dalton or a Waldenbooks in this motherfucker?"

We take cover as the man shoots another bolt of lightning.

Harley: "Who the hell are you?"

Jason: "I am Jason Praxis. Last surviving member of the 25th Annual Praxis Family Reunion and Jamboree. You murdered all of my family!"

Everyone but Fables: "Oh, shit."

Fables: "Yeah, I did that."

Psycho: "I thought you ended the bloodline."

Fables: "I didn't leave anyone alive? Did you see anyone alive?"

Harley & I: "Eh."

Fables: "Eh? What is, 'Eh'?"

Me: "I may have sensed one person left alive. I tried to tell you, but-"

Harley: "But, it was nothing. It was just a little girl with a, ponytail. Oh, shit."

TO BE CONTINUED