The Right Side of Wrong

Being Harley Quinn: Part 3/ The Line: Part 1

Veronica's POV:

Harley rises to stand with a confident look and walks to stand in her former self's place..

Harley: "Hard pass."

Past Joker: "What?"

Harley: "I said no, idiot."

Past Joker: "But you have to jump. You can't change this. I mean, it's already happened. It's your origin story!"

Harley: "Wrong! It's not my origin story, My origin story didn't happen here. It happened in your lair."

The setting shifts to Joker's old lair.

Harley: "I wasn't wearing this costume."

Harley changes from her psychiatrist uniform into her current one.

Harley: "And, believe me, I wasn't saying you're a dream come true. I was saying, 'Go fuck yourself'."

Past Joker: "Harley, stop this nonsense."

Harley starts taking swings at Joker with her bat.

Harley: "I know you think you created me, but no one did. My fucked up parents didn't make me the way I am. Neither did Jessica Sarner when she lied to the whole camp and said I lost my virginity to a horse! A horse! Or, those cops who questioned me for hours about what happened to Jessica Sarner. And you sure as hell didn't fucking create me, puddin'."

Past Joker: "Yeah? Well, I named you."

Harley: "You got 'Harley Quinn' out of 'Harleen Quinzel'? Nice work, genius. You didn't make me, Joker. I made myself."

Past Joker: "But, you can't change your memories! This isn't 'Eternal Sunshine' rules."

Harley: "My mind, my rules."

She walks back to us, and we all head toward the exit. When we awaken, we immediately burst out of the furnace to find ourselves in an abandoned mall. The woman walks away, and Harley looks around the building.

Harley: "This is it. Guys, we found it."

Ivy: "What? Like hepatitis?"

Harley: "No, our new lair. Look, it doesn't matter what it is. 'Cause the lair doesn't define us. We define the lair."

Psycho: "Uh-huh. Can we define a different one? This one's gross."

Me: "No, this one's free."

Sy: "The hell it is. This premium shopping destination runs 100 grand a month."

Harley grabs Sy by the collar of his shirt.

Harley: "I'm offering a dollar. And I don't kill you right now for trying to burn us alive."

Sy: "Deal. On one condition. You let me come along on some of your heists. Lugging around your dead husks made me feel alive again. I want back in the game, baby!"

Me: "Well, you did manage to carry 7 bodies to a pizza oven. I mean, that's not nothing."

Harley & I: "Deal."

Harley goes to shake Sy's metal hand, but it comes off.

Sy: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry. It happens all the time. Anyone have a Phillips head?"

Well, it's not much. But, for us, it's the perfect place to call home.

{A/N: I'm skipping over 'You're A Damn Good Cop, Jim Gordon' since I don't see Veronica's presence in it having any significant changes}

Today's the day Queen of Fables is being freed from her tax book prison by the Justice League. As for us, we're more focused on stealing the one thing everyone in the LOD has failed to do.

Harley: "Bane, Sinestro, Grodd, even Joker. They've all tried and failed to steal Kord Industries game-changing weather machine. Which is why we are gonna do it."

King Shark: "If none of them could steal it, that seems like a pretty good indicator that we should not try."

Harley: "But, if we succeed, it'll make the Legion so furious, they'll have to notice us. I sent Clayface to do some recon."

Clayface shifts into a female shorter than his regular height.

Clayface: "My character was a sassy divorcee-"

Psycho: "Can we please not do the unnecessary backstory thing?"

Clayface: "Named Brenda."

Me: "You had to ask."

Clayface: "Who's back in the dating game for the first time in a while, and she's decided to get adult braces. I know what you're thinking, it's a little expensive for a secretary's salary, but no! You can't put a price on a smile. So she threw caution to the wind-"

Harley: "Clayface, intel!"

Clayface frowns as he shifts back into his original form.

Clayface: "The machine is being protected by 1,000-ish lasers. According to head scientist, Jerome Stansfield, who may or may not be heartbroken when Brenda does not show up to work tomorrow."

King Shark: "How are we ever gonna get past 1,000-ish lasers?"

Harley: "Already thought of that. Psycho, Ronnie?"

Psycho: "S.T.A.R. Labs created a personal force field device that deflects energy."

Me: "Problem is, the only way to get into the room is through an air duct about four inches wide."

Harley: "Yeah, I thought that might be an issue."

Clayface: "And?"

Harley: "And, I was right. It's a definite issue."

Frank: "Oh, shit, Harley. The news is talking about that book you love."

Harley & I: "Clive Cussler's 'Sahara'?"

Me: "Jinx. You owe me a Cherry Cola."

It's a twin thing. One of us has to announce the jinx before the other, or else they buy the winner their favorite drink.

Ivy: "It's Queen of Fables."

Harley: "Oh, that's right. She's getting out today."

According to the live news broadcast, Queen of Fables was released from the tax book but must spend the rest of her sentence in Arkham.

Harley: "That's bullshit! Somebody's gotta do something. She's been stuck in that book for 30 years!"

Me: "Well, she did almost destroy Gotham."

Harley: "Yeah, I think it was more of a lack of affordable housing that destroyed Gotham.Look, Fables has been a mentor to me. She just gets a bad rap."

Ivy: "Obviously, we're not pro-Arkham, but if there was any person who definitely belongs there, it would be the Queen of-"

And just like that, Harley's gone.

TO BE CONTINUED