The Right Side of Wrong

So, You Need A Crew?: Part 1

Veronica's POV:

Harley left early this morning for Russia to steal a warhead from a train. Ivy and I are pouring ourselves some coffee, when she walks through the door. Her hair's a mess, there's twigs and leaves in it, she's covered in mud, and she looks exhausted.

Harley: *sighs* "I need a fucking crew."

Ivy: "No, you need a shower."

{Time skip}

After she showers, she sits on the couch and tells us what happened.

Me: "So, you didn't get the warhead?"

Harley: "No, Joker stole it 'cause he had a crew. Like all real supervillains."

Ivy: "I mean, Ronnie and I get by just fine on our own. So."

As she says that, she has her vines pour a refill for her mug, and hand her a plate of cookies.

Frank: *clears throat* "Your independence is quite inspiring."

Ivy: "Oh, can it Frank."

Frank: "I love you, Ivy!"

Ronnie: "I don't always fight alone. Sometimes I have Harley, you, Riddler-"

Oh god, shouldn't have mentioned Riddler.

Harley: "Ooh, someone's letting it run wild."

Me: "No, I am simply experimenting with what this is, and how I can put it to good use in the future."

Harley: "Well, anyway, I could've used your help back there."

Me: "I thought, after all these years in Joker's shadow, you could use some independence now and then."

Ivy: "Also, honestly, I think crews are overrated. You know, it's like, some very successful supervillains work alone. Like, look at this guy. Look at Dr. Psycho. Perfect example. Doesn't have a crew, yet still taking on Wonder Woman. Like a champ."

Ivy gestures to the TV as the news shows Dr. Psycho in a fight against Wonder Woman.

Wonder Woman: "Still too scared to fight me with your own hands Psycho?"

Psycho: "What a grand idea!"

He then uses a pair of telepathic hands to lift her from the ground and choke her.

Psycho: *laughing* "I'm sorry. What's that? You really want your last words to be...?" 

Psycho imitates choking before he laughs again. Then, Wonder Woman puts her arm bands together, and deflects the hands from her. This sends Dr. Psycho into a nearby car.

Psycho: "That really hurt, you c**t."

Everyone around him gasps, as he widens his eyes in retrospect.

Ivy & I: "Holy shit."

Harley: "See? If he had a crew, they would have told him to use the 'B' word instead. And I had one, I'd use that warhead to blackmail Gotham into naming a highway after me."

Ivy: "Huh, a highway? All right. Well, you know, that took a weird turn."

I pull a business card out of my pocket.

Me: "Well, if you insist on following this 'crew' idea through, take this card. It's for an organization that offers you the very best of their clientele."

Harley: "Awesome! Where'd you get this?"

I pause. If I tell her I got it from Riddler, I'll never hear the end of it.

Me: "Oh, just some work friend who got themselves a crew from there."

Harley nods, no questions asked, and walks off to the address on the card. I sigh in relief, before Ivy scoots up to stick her nose in my business, literally.

Ivy: "You got it from Riddler, didn't you?"

Me: "Ugh! Yes, fine! Let's hear it! Let the 'girl talk' teasing begin."

Ivy places a hand on my shoulder.

Ivy: "Look, I get it. You don't wanna overestimate things in case it blows up in your face. So, I will keep your secret, if you'll keep mine."

I nod in agreement.

Ivy: "Alright, when we were flying over the city to come save you & Harley, I kinda felt something similar to what you're feeling, but with Kite-Man."

My eyes widen, but I shake it off to be supportive.

Me: "Hey, I won't judge if you won't."

Ivy smiles sweetly in thanks, pulling me in for a side hug.

{Time skip}

So, the agency didn't go well for Harley, nor did her attempt to hire goons at the bar. So she's venting as I help Ivy water her plants.

Harley: "And then, they all ran off with that loser, Kite-Man."

Ivy: "Yeah, what a loser that guy is. Did he mention my name? You know what, never mind. But did he?"

Harley: "There must be something I'm missing. How do I get a crew to work for me?"

Frank: "Don't ask Ivy. She has no fucking idea. Because plants do all this shit for her lazy ass."

Harley: "There must be someone who can give me the inside scoop."

Me: "Harls, what real supervillain is gonna just give away their trade secrets?"

Harley: "Well, maybe not 'give away.'"

TO BE CONTINUED