NINE TIME MACHINES: Do you want to undo your entire life on planet earth?

CHAPTER 69

Have you ever had to pack your clothes even though you didn't know where you were going? It's nothing like packing for a vacation. You fold piece after piece and sink them into bottomless pits until they rise to the top on fake foundations. Then you stand there and stare at the empty space they left behind, until you see some forgotten relic that's even emptier than you.

I'm on autopilot at present. There's no taste in my mouth. And my eyes dim as the hours roll by. I can speak but when I do the words fall on my own deaf ears. Nothing of substance leaps forth to comfort me. If only I can run down to the now blue waters that lie just two blocks away. Then I would sink myself into its bosom, feel its fishes nibble at my feet. Maybe that will resuscitate me. But it's blocked now, ripped from us by greedy men. That gate bars all my memories of simpler times. Ebony and I used to visit every day. There was this one time we stood watching people fish. Then a woman arrived, one of the hopefuls. She had not spent even three minutes there. And there was nothing in her hand but a small sack. Most importantly, she wasn't fishing. Then a large fish jumped out the water and landed at her feet.

To this day it still amazes me. I look down at the diary I found and flick the pages. Nothing! It's been with me so long and I haven't graced its milky pages with my thoughts. Should that be the first thing I write down? That one does not need to be fishing to catch? I rummage through the desk drawer for a good pen and let that be my first words. It's been so long since I've written anything. Then I add that even though it's possible to catch a fish without bait, there's one element that must be present. You absolutely must bring yourself to the shoreline. And that's what my real problem is. Try as I have, the shoreline always eludes me. But if I can just get there, I'm convinced that my life will transform. Do you want to be my ladder across?