RICHARD CROW (Guns & Perfume) - Completed

Chapter 34 - Tadhana

RICHARD'S POV:

"What the hell is wrong with you?! I said go away! Mag sama kayong lahat na mga walang kwentang bakla! Hindi ko kailangan ang pag aalaga mo! Ang pag aasikaso mo! Ang pag aalala mo! Wala akong kailangan sayo! Lumayas ka sa harap ko! Isaksak mo ang sarili mo sa mga kagaya mong bakla! Puro pasakit lang ang ibinibigay mo sa akin! Pineperwisyo mo lang buhay ko! Peste ka lumayas ka sa harap ko, hindi kita kailanga sa buhay ko! Salot Ka!"

Amanda's words kept on playing like a broken record inside my head while I'm drinking coffee. Hindi ako mahilig sa kape, but I badly needed caffeine in my system right now. Nagtatalo kasi ang puso at isipan ko sa mga sinabi ni Amanda. Aaminin ko rin na nasaktan ako sa mga sinabi niya. Pero sa isang banda, kilala ko ang ugali niya. Alam ko kung bakit niya nasabi ang mga bagay na iyon.

Most of all, I know she never meant any of those. Saying harsh words is one of her defense mechanism to avoid pain and hurting. Ayaw niya na kinakaawaan siya o dinadamayan kapag pakiramdam niya ay nanghihina na siya. Takot pa rin siyang tumanggap ng tulong mula sa iba tao. The same reason she drove people away.

She hasn't recovered because I heard from her doctor na hindi na siya nag papa-therapy simula noon magkahiwalay kami.

One of the reasons why I wanted to win her back, I can't let her lure herself to distraction. I will never forgive myself if that happens. What I said last night was the words of a man in pain, and just like her those words were never meant. Mahirap talaga ang magbitiw ng mga salita kapag galit ka o labis na nasasaktan.

Today, I have cleared my mind so that my heart would take charge. I decided to stay and pursue her back in my arms. Even if she kicks me out at the door or threw me at the window. I will stay and fight for my love for her.

I stood up and looked around Amanda's kitchen. I found what I was looking for. I took the apron and started cooking breakfast for my Amazon baby. I took a quick glimpse at my watch. (5:30 A.M), just enough time to make a special breakfast.

I was nearly done preparing the table; I don't have any talent when it comes to art, but, I pushed myself to arrange the flowers over the table and then set my special Belgian waffle sandwiches.

"As my female intuitions said... The way to Amanda's heart is through her stomach..." I was humming as I set the Strawberry Creamcheese & Strawberry Peanut Butter waffle sandwich with steamy Chocó latté for Amanda, and Chicken Ham & Cheddar waffles and green tea for me. Napurga na kasi ako sa kape mula pa kaninang madaling araw.

I was all smiling while I took off my apron, giving a last gaze to the table before waking my precious barbaric baby. I skip a little when I heard Amanda's panicking voice screaming my name. Mabilis akong lumabas ng kusina at umakyat sa kanyang kwarto, I looked around but she wasn't there, I even search the bathroom. Bigla akong nag alala kaya muli akong lumabas ng kwarto, then I saw her sitting down behind the main door. Weeping as her hand cover's her face like frighten lost child.

"I'm so sorry, please come back Richard..." She said while sobbing.

Hindi ako maka-kilos sa aking kinatatayuan. My heart is starting to rejoice as I heard the words she said.

"You shouldn't' have left me! Hindi mo ako dapat iniwan! I didn't mean the things I have said. Dapat alam mo yun, dapat alam mong galit lang ako, dapat alam mo yun!"

Hindi ko na napigilan ang aking sarili, dahan dahan akong lumapit sa kanya. Pero hindi pa rin niya ako napapansin dahil sa lakas ng kanyang pag iyak.