soldier's conversations

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"I didn't chose to be a soldier, my dad made me one."


"How bad is it?", Sky asks Saul seriously not wanting to hear another "I'm fine" as an answer. "Is professor Harvey going to give you more medicine? The wound looks better thanks to it. Until-" "Until it's not working anymore, you mean?", Saul fulfills my sentence and I gulp.

That's not what I was going to say or what I wanted to hear. "Scar and I take care of the new students and you take a break until you're feeling better. Where are the soldiers at the moment?"

"They've seen him fourty miles northern from here. They're going to kill him." "And when they do it, are they going to-" "I trust them completely. They are going to accomplish this mission and kill the burned one", Saul answers strained, "The only question is when it'll happen."

"What's that supposed to mean?", Sky asks but I understand what Saul is trying to tell us. I don't want him to leave and I won't accept him saying goodbye. Not now, not in three days, not in many years.

I sit down next to Saul and instead of leaning against his shoulder, I let him rest against mine this time. He used to hold me when I was younger or when I still need him. I'm always going to do the same for him. We're family.

"The infection is rapidly spreading and if it reaches my heart-" "How much time do you have?" "I don't know. I've got no idea", Saul whispers weakly and looks down to our feet, "Not long." "What can we do?", Sky demands.

"I've talked to the others regarding your training, Sky. Same for yours, Scar. Dowling knows what my wishes for your future are." "No, no. Don't dare talking like that", I interrupt him anxiously, my voice is shaking. "I've asked you something", Sky repeats his words in a more angry way but he sits down in front of us.

"And I've answered you, Sky", Saul replies more seriously as well, "Sometimes a soldier doesn't have any other option than having these conversations. We'll make a plan. There's nothing else that we can do."

"You can't be serious", Sky shakes his head, his voice is now unstable as well, "We've lost our dad already. We can't-" "I'll keep you informed about the hunt for the burned one. Did you two understand?", Saul breathes heavily and stands up to create some distance.


"How are you doing?", Sam asks me as he sits down in front of me during lunch break. "It's getting better but it's also getting worse. I'm used to seeing Saul like this by now but it breaks my heart even more", I admit knowing that Sam is a safe space to talk about my feelings.

We might have broken up and we don't constantly talk anymore but I've seen the look on his face. He wanted to talk to me many times since Saul has been infected. Sam still cares about me as a friend.

"I'm here whenever you need someone to talk to", he assures me and I smile at him. "I know, thank you. I'm also sorry for Riven. He tends to be-" "Impolite?", Sam chuckles, "It's fine. He was just trying to protect you."


I've sat down at the place where Sam and I used to meet for about an hour to cry my heart out. I needed to be alone and let all the sadness out that I am feeling. It helped me to get over this day at least but I soon get back to the apartment.

I'm glad when I only hear Bloom and Aisha talking. That means I could silently go back to my room. "Does anyone here know how to do cat-eyes?", Terra suddenly yells and sounds frustrated. Well, looks like I have to help her first before getting back into my bed.

Bloom and Aisha storm over to her as well and we open our mouths but don't say anything when we see her dark colored eyes. "Oh." "I've watched fifty tutorials and this is what happens. What does Huda Kattan has that I don't?", Terra cries.

"Uh, talent." "Taste." "A million followers and probably a house by the beach. I'd want to be her as well", I joke and help Bloom and Aisha to remove Terra's makeup. "Wait a second. Are you not going to the party?"

"I still have to study", Aisha tells her. "And I have to-" "No, no. I don't care. You have to go with me. I need your support", she interrupts Bloom crying. "I just came back from Saul. I've got other things on my mind right now."

"No, you need to go with us. Riven and Beatrix might act like they are so great together but you have to prove him wrong", Terra tells me. "That's weird", Musa adds as she joins us in the bathroom. "Get dressed. We have to go. We'll go to the party together and show everyone how cool we are and funny and and.." "Hot?"

We enter the party together but I quickly tell Bloom that we need a beer. Bloom and I get along quite well so it'd be good if we'd talk more. I just lose her just after we got our first beer. I was so thoughtful that I didn't watch where I was going.

I sit down by the side and pull out my phone. Of course, the picture on my screen shows Saul and I when we were younger. He's bought me a dress for christmas so I could look like a princess but I was ashamed to wear it on my own so he had to wear a skirt with me and we wore pink makeup together.

"Scar, come on, get up. Bloom and Sky play beer pong and you and I will join them", Riven suddenly shouts over to me through the loud music. "I'm not in the mood, Riven", I shout back so he could even hear me.

"You have to!" "What about Beatrix? Just ask her", I reply annoyedly. "Don't tell me you're jealous, Scar. Come on. It's not like you broke up with me last year", Riven mentions this topic again so I roll my eyes. He was so nice and caring about Saul at first.

"My dad is practically dying, Riven. I'm thinking about other things." "He won't die tonight!", Riven argues, "I won't accept a no." I roll my eyes and groan as I stand up. I'll just leave the party after the game.

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