SCARS AND BRUISES II fate : winx saga

miserable

"I don't feel like a queen neither do I look like one." 

"How are you feeling?", Riven asks me when I finally lay in my bed and talk to him on the phone. I've noticed a lot of missed calls on my phone but I've been in this meeting during the afternoon. We had dinner together in the evening and then they showed me around the castle. I still remember some moments from when we've lived here especially due to my mind magic but after everything that's happened in my family, I don't like remembering it. My magic is still not under control so it could hurt me more than it helps emotionally. 

It's ten p.m. and I finally finished all meetings for today but I wouldn't fall asleep. I've been wondering why I am not as sad as I thought I'd be about grandpa's death but with everything's that's being planned at the moment, I don't get time to be sad. "I'm exhausted", I sigh, "I miss you guys and I'm afraid of what might happen. How am I supposed to be the queen of a country that I haven't been to the past years? Sure, I've visited grandpa but I didn't spend as much time here as I should have." 

"How much is the marriage freaking you out?", Riven asks and I can literally see his cheeky grin. How does he even know about Eraklyon law and traditions? "Riv, how do you-" "You remember your brother, right?", Riven chuckles through the phone making me giggle. Of course, they would talk about it. I'm kind of glad to hear this. Sounds like Sky misses me if he talks to Riven about my future. 

"It's freaking me out quite a bit", I admit looking through the window. The moon is pretty bright tonight. Talking about the moon.. how is Stella doing? What are the girls up to? I need to talk to them as soon as possible. "If you haven't met someone already, you know-" "I assume Sky has also told you that this future husband is expected to be of royal blood", I interrupt Riven not wanting to get high hopes. Do I want to marry Riven? No, not at all. Not at the moment. Maybe I would have wanted this in a few years if things hadn't changed. 

"Do you know who the stuck-up royal prince would be?", Riven immediately asks, his sadness covered by annoyance. "I've got no idea, Riv. I wasn't told a name and I haven't met a man yet, luckily", I stress, "I'm afraid of this." "I know, Scar", Riven suddenly whispers compassionately. I'm not surprised by his emotions, I know he's a lot more sensitive than people might assume. He just tries to avoid showing any emotions at all costs. Most people think that Riven is always annoyed. 

"Whoever it is, he has to fall in love you", Riven comforts me whispering, "I know what I'm talking about." "But what if I don't love whoever they present me?" That's the question I couldn't stop thinking about. I'd rather die young than life a long live with someone I don't even like at all. "They won't risk your wellbeing just like that. Saul and Liv are right there with you. They wouldn't let you spend your life with an idiot." "Yeah just with the difference that Saul is not making the rules here." 

"No, Stephen, I haven't talked to her", Sky's voice appears in the background of Riven's phone. Is Stephen with them? "Oh, hey, Riv. What's up?" "Just talking to your sister, you know", Riven chuckles knowing that Sky expected to be alone in their room. Usually, Riven and I sneaked out at night so it's new to Sky to have his room mate be there at night. Wait.. did Sky mention Stephen? I haven't heard of him in a week, not as I'd like to. We've been working on building up the school again after the fight against the blood witches and then I was organizing my trip here. We didn't even say goodbye. 

"Did you just say 'Stephen'?", I ask Sky through the phone. "Yeah, he asked if you're alright. What should I say when I see him again?" Hm.. good question. I'm definitely not fine at the moment. I've survived and I'm healthy but happy is something else. Well.. "Tell him I'm perfectly fine. I cannot wait for the coronation", I smile through the phone even thought at least Riven knows that I'm lying. 

I don't want to have Stephen worry about me either. He didn't even hear a goodbye from me, neither did he say something about it. Did I expect him to fight for me? Maybe. When he came up to me at the bar before dad.. well, our close circle knows what's happened, he was ready to fight for me. As soon as he's heard that I'd be going to Eraklyon, he didn't even approach me anymore. I understand why he keeps his distance towards me but I'm also disappointed. If this time it's Erakylon law that's making us stay away from each other, I can get over it. I think so. What if I don't? 

"What about the other.. circumstances that come along with being the crown princess?", Sky asks me. "It'll be good.. I guess. Of course it'll take some time and patience to be with someone who I don't know yet but I expect my situation to be just fine. It won't be a complete idiot if he's marrying the soon to be queen", I say easily trying to ignore all the worries that are going through my head at the moment. 

Is he going to be a friendly person or a sexist? Is he going to support me and the way how I take care my country. Am I going to want to be around him, sleep in the same bed as him and- "You know what? You're miserable, Scar", Sky complains in a joking way, "Don't pretend that you'd be fine with a stranger being around you. You're literally the most introvert person I know. Neither Stephen nor Riv would believe you. By the way, Riv's been begging you to come back." 

"I know, you've got royal responsibilites and stuff.. but.. hell I need someone who's an actual competition compared to the other specialists. Sky wouldn't fight back like you did." "Excuse me?" "Not the way she does." I ignore Sky's laugh and smile widely feeling thankful for knowing such sweet people. "I'll try to visit you soon", I promise them but also myself.