letter from a loved one

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"Looks like you failed."


I wanted to talk to my dad but he was focused on Beatrix and Rosalind. How the hell does he know who Beatrix is and why wouldn't he talk to his own children? Why would they kill hundreds of innocent people and why would Luna support dad of accusing Saul? 

And where are Farah and Ben? Seeing how my life is teared apart on this school ground, I turn around and walk to the woods to be alone. Well, if someone would let me be alone.

"Scar", Stephen says my name quietly and looks at me worriedly, "Andreas will talk to you soon." "What would you know about him?", I hiss at him disappointedly, "Saul allegedly killed him and you lied to my face!" 

„He's my brother. What was I supposed to do?" I laugh frustrated remembering how he used to make me promises.

"I'm quite happy about my brother working at school", Stephen chuckles as he gets over to me when we sit in the garden. "And thanks to Riven, my brother goes out a lot more", I add grinning as I'm enjoying my time when Saul and Sky are on their way. 

"I'm going to buy a house one day", Stephen tells me smiling and hugs me from behind and points to the garden, "It'll have a way bigger garden, more horses and some dogs. You'll be there with me and we'll make it a home. Our home."


"Tell me, Stephen, were you really in love with me? Was anything ever true?", I ask desperately. "Of course, Scar! Everything I've ever said to you is true! You mean everything to me", Stephen exclaims and looks at me sadly. 

"If it's true that you love me and that you would never want to hurt me and that I'm the love of your life, you would have been honest with me", I state coldly and turn around but I hear Stephen following me. "All of this is true, Scar." 

"Even if I could ever forgive you for lying to me, what would it change? You've got a girlfriend, Stephen. And you're just being a fool when you talk to me like this while she's probably waiting for you at home." 

"I don't have a girlfriend, Scar", Stephen makes clear shaking his head and I furl my eyebrows, "I've said this so I wouldn't mess it up again. I wanted to stay away from you until you get out of here so you can enjoy your time at school but I didn't know what would happen to Saul and I didn't want you to get close to me again when Saul was almost dying. I needed you to stay away." 

"Okay", I laugh shaking my head now, "Even if this argument was a good one, you lied to me although you just claimed that no statement that you've ever made was a lie. But now you tell me that you've just lied to me a few weeks ago. Really great, Stephen." "Saul, Farah, Ben and I only tried to protect you", he tries to argue changing the topic but I roll my eyes. 

"Looks like you failed, right? You know it's not only a lie. My complete life is a mess and to make us believe this lie, you've changed my memories! I won't ever know if my current memory is right or not. I've got no idea who I even am because you decided to play with me like a puppet. How am I supposed to ever trust someone again?", I ask me more than him as my voice is breaking. 

I have cried last night over and over again until I just couldn't cry anymore. I can't cry now. My voice only breaks and my heart shatters. Saul, Farah and him are the people I've trusted the most. 

I believed that they only wanted the best for me. Looks like the people you love the most, are going to hurt you the most. "You can still trust me, Scar. I'm right here-" 

"No, you're not, Stephen. You're only a memory to me from now on. I don't even want you to be right here anymore. You were my safe place, my home and now I just don't ever want to see you again. You've made a decision. And you've decided against me." 

"You've got no idea how fully I've decided for you, Scar", Stephen whispers and looks hurt himself but I ignore that, "If you just-" 

"I've listened to you long enough", I cut him off and step closer to him to look him right in the eyes, "Get out of my life. I don't ever want to see you again." "Scar-" "Goodbye, Stephen."


I'm still trying to ignore my feelings. It's actually working quite well as the others aren't at Alfea so when I get back to the suite, no one's here to ask me what's wrong. I'm quite glad about it. I still see a letter on our table which is for me so I take it and open it in my room.

Dear Scar

This is Farah's handwriting. What's that supposed to mean? Why do I get a letter from Farah? She could have just talked to me.

you may ask yourself why I write this letter. Well, we've been through a lot. Saul and I have been through a lot. Your dad and I have. This letter is supposed to arrive when you find out about the truth about your dad. 

Please believe me when you read or hear that all of this has been in your and Sky's best interest. We've made mistakes and you deserved to know the truth earlier. Well, how do you tell the truth? When is the best moment? 

Saul has asked me many times if it was the right moment to tell you. He wanted to be honest so many times. But he's seen how much your struggling already and you weren't supposed to feel like you've lost the only person you've trusted in. I could feel your pain. 

We all wanted you two to know what's happened but it would have hurt you a lot more so we decided to wait a little longer. Day after day. "There won't be the right moment", I realized one day. Saul nodded but decided to tell you about it after school and way before you follow your family's foodsteps in Eraklyon.

You are loved, Scar. You are not a mess. You're a beautiful human being trying to find out who she is. You are allowed to feel sad or angry or anxious. Just be you and you'll find a way.

And please tell Stephen that he needs to stop looking at you like this if you want these emotions to stay a secret in front of Saul. It's quiet obvious.

You're not alone.

Yours,

Farah

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