SCARS AND BRUISES II fate : winx saga

family issues

"The ones we love the most can hurt us the hardest."

"What were you thinking?", Saul complains when we're in the office after dinner, "You were supposed to learn the topics Ronan asked you about. What did Alani and you do? Online shopping?" "Saul", mom sighs and lays her hand on his shoulder. 

He's kind of freaking me out right now. I thought this place would be worse because he's not making the rules here but he's even more annoying when following others' rules. What did he expect? That I become a queen within a day when dad hasn't even taught me this in a few years? That's the reason why I was so afraid of becoming queen because I don't even know what it takes to be good at it. I cannot disappoint a whole nation. I'm afraid of failing. 

"Alani tried her best. She told me to go for a walk when I couldn't concentrate", I answer shyly. I never thought I would feel like a stupid child in front of Saul. He always used to make me feel strong. I didn't even recognize a gender gap until I had to deal with strangers. "And why couldn't you concentrate?", Saul asks teetering his feet on the ground impatiently. 

"We're not in Alfea, Saul", mom cautions him so I notice a tension between the two of them. What could have happened apart from this interrogation? "Exactly, Olivia. We're not in Alfea. That's the point of this! We're not in Alfea, Scar. I'm not here to save you when something happens. I can't even help you enough. Sebastian was such a freak about history he would have fit in here greatly but I can't. If you don't listen to me in cases in which I know something, I can't do anything when you need me." 

Okay, this got very emotional really quickly. Sebastian.. I haven't thought about him in two days. I've been thinking about him a lot before regularly. My uncle.. I wonder how mom is improving her powers. "Maybe that's the whole point, Saul. Maybe I am manipulating this shit myself so I don't have to accept a random guy who buys himself in!" 

"God, Scar, if this is freaking you out already wait for the others when he's left. No one bought himself in. William and I were trying to find a good match for you. Maybe he's not perfect for you, not your desired husband. Maybe he's neither Riven nor my little brother but he's the most decent option that we have. We're trying to make this as pleasant for you as possible." 

"As decent as possible? This is pure hell for me! No one's ever taught me anything. Dad didn't even think about it neither did you", I snap back at him. I don't think I've ever been this annoyed by him although I can only feel worry in his thoughts. Stupid mind magic making me feel sorry for him. 

"Maybe that's because your dad has been a hell of a father? Are you still surprised by how he treated the people around him? Andreas didn't worry about you or Sky or Liv or else he wouldn't have separated you and manipulated you. But I've been here this whole time, Scar. For years I was trying to get this law changed in case you end up here. I've been preparing this moment as good as I could in the shortness of time. But your dad, he wasn't a dad to you neither was he a husband to your mom." 

"Don't dare talking about him like this", I hiss at him instantly feeling attacked, "You've got no idea what he was like to me in my eyes. Tell me, what exactly have you prepared? Organized me a decent husband? Great. You just feel guilty because I'm doing this willingly so they wouldn't worry about mom. Because if they took her for the lawful queen after marrying dad, who knows maybe you'd have to find a decent husband for her?" "Stop, both of you!", mom suddenly yells at both of us and steps in between Saul and I. 

We've never been in a fight like this before. Never ever. I've always been his little girl and he's been my hero.. he's always been a dad to me. This damn situation made us say things we'd never said if we weren't here. No, I would have never talked to him like this in Alfea or at home. I wouldn't talk to him like this here if it wasn't for this situation and him trying to control it all.. the coronation, the wedding, my life. So now I immediately feel guilty. Guilty and confused because I sense another mind wandering around close to us. Is someone eavesdropping on us? If I find out who it is- 

"You two are the same dickheads", mom complains pointing between us, "I can't believe you would talk to each other like this. You love each other. Don't dare fighting now that we're trapped in this situation. We need to stay close." "And Saul definitely needs to stay the fuck out of my business", I snap harshly. 

I hate how controlling he is. I mean I know that he only wants us to be safe but does he has to be so extreme? For real? But what would I do without him? Probably just accept the next best husband because people expect this of me. The way he mentioned Sebastian.. He didn't worry if it would make mom and I feel weird. The way he mentioned Riven and Stephen.. it made me feel bad like he would think so little of me to say that I'd have enough other options back home. 

The way he talked about dad.. my intellect tells me that he's right. Dad wasn't a good dad or husband. He put himself first right before Mom, Sky and I. But during the past weeks before his death, I felt like he was in the middle of changing. He was until I stopped him. I still feel guilty. I also know that I exaggerated when mentioning mom in front of him. I am truly doing this for mom but I can't blame him. 

We both want her to be happy and I'm young enough to find true love but Saul and her.. they've been separated for too long before we found mom. He kept this picture of her in his pocket.. They were living a romantic dream for a short period of time. I only wish that I might fall in love with someone someday who's a good king by my side as well as a loving partner to me.