ATypical High School Life: Freshmen Year

Chapter 5: 'Climactic' Conclusion to this Saga (PART 5)

Part 5

"Dearest Matsuda,

You may be asking why I am writing this letter to you, instead of using the near-instantaneous data transmission device. Sorry for not picking it up these last few days, by the way! I made you worried sick again... Anyways, that's because I thought a letter would better convey my thoughts. I wrote this because there's something you should know.

The truth is, I'm staying at The Bureau's headquarters from now on. Permanently. Matsuda must have realized this by now, before I even tell you explicitly. My complete disappearance from school records, my artifacts and relics being transported out, my long radio silence these past couple of days. All of it was because of this.

I know Matsuda's initial reaction to this would be to say things like 'This dumb girl!' and scramble to come looking for me. Please don't. I went to The Bureau on my own, and it will also be my choice to stay here. I have assessed my situation, and determined this is the best thing I could do for everyone's sake. I won't be such a burden anymore. Matsuda wouldn't need to constantly berate me, my family wouldn't needlessly worry about my future. As for everyone else, I'm sure they prefer this new me, too.

I realized that it was my fault, my own selfish desire for a base of operations that got Matsuda targeted by the council in the first place. And even after everything you did to save our headquarters, it was my actions in the end that got you into even further trouble. I wish to change that. I wish that Matsuda won't have to go through such hardships again because of me. So, can I ask you to respect my wish, while I'm at it?

The years I've spent with you, whether you acknowledged me or not, were the best times I have experienced yet. These past few months in particular, were even more special to me. I had finally built up the courage to introduce myself to the person I'd looked up to for so long, and it really did pay off. More than I could ever have expected. You've become one of the few who even acknowledges my true existence. You've become my closest, most trusted companion. You've been there by my side whenever I needed a shoulder to lean on. You've gone through so much just for my sake. You've pulled me up from the depths of desperation more times than I can count. You've shown me a stunning romance, even if it only lasted for a few weeks. Matsuda's given me so much already, and all I've ever done is take. The only thing I can give back to you is an explanation, and all the rest of this little letter. I hope you can accept my thoughts condensed on this sheet of paper as adequate compensation for your troubles, and move on without me.

The time we spent together was brief, in the grand scale of it all, but I shall forever cherish it. I'll miss our walks together to school. I'll miss our discussions at headquarters. I'll miss our friendly spars together. I'll miss when you would scold me for making stupid decisions, and go clean up after me right after. I'll miss all the times Matsuda reassured me everything would be okay.

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'm truly blessed you were the one to walk that path with me that day. This chapter of my life is one I'll never forget. Wouldn't you agree, Matsuda? This trip was truly fun, wasn't it? I do hope it holds a special place in your heart, too.

I'm sorry for not paying anything significant back despite the validation you've generously given me. I'm sorry for not being there with you to discover the magic of the Otherworld. I'm sorry I haven't fulfilled a single promise with you. I'm sorry I left so many things unfinished.

I'm sorry for being unable to see our pact of lovers together until the very end.

I'm sorry, Matsuda. I wanted us to have more time with each other. But, alas, this is what cruel fate had in store for us. I wish it didn't have to end this way.

Goodbye,
Ishikawa Ryuko, former vessel of the legendary Pandemonic Chaos."

"..."

This dumb girl...

"She knows me too well..."

After reading this thing, the first thing I did was crumpling it up and throwing it in the bin.

Unbelievable. That girl is absolutely unbelievable.

Reverting back to chuunibyou?

Writing a goddamn goodbye letter instead of just sending an email because you thought it was cooler somehow?

Feeling guilty just because we went through some hard times?

This kind of backwards logic where you leave everyone's life because you don't want anyone else to get hurt?

Only telling me the truth after it's too late?

Everything about this screams Ryuko.

The old Ryuko.

You're unbelievable.

Don't do this to me, damn it!

'Adequate compensation for your troubles'? Fat chance! No way I can just accept that!

You can't just tell me that a letter announcing your separation from my life is 'adequate compensation'! As compensation for all the things you claim I've given you, no less!

Why couldn't you have said all this in person?!

If you really, truly wanted to continue being a chuunibyou, then you could have just told me!

I've carved out a place just for you dozens of times, haven't I?!

You could have said anything! So I wouldn't make those careless comments in my thick skull! So I wouldn't say unnecessary things again!

I didn't mean to say those things at the club! I didn't mean it when I said I preferred the 'normal' you, damn it!

You don't want anyone else to get hurt, but you fail to understand, we're even more miserable if just one person is!

Why is it always the extremes with you?!

"You. Absolute. Moron!"

...

I couldn't sleep that night.

It wasn't a 'Oh, the sorrows of being separated from my lover is making me insomniac!' type of deal.

Well, maybe it was, but just a little.

My phone kept buzzing all throughout the night. I didn't turn it off, it wouldn't have done anything anyways.

It seems everyone got a letter, too.

I'd say her effort of sending them to everyone was commendable, but I'm furious at her.

No, I couldn't sleep mainly because I almost couldn't believe what was happening.

She just comes and goes, just like that.

Really, how did everything go wrong so suddenly?

I know it's partly my fault, but that girl wasn't being transparent either...

This isn't me shifting the blame!

Sigh, guess this really is the end, then. I'll just have to learn how to accept it.

No point crying over spilt milk.

Whether she decides to return here or not, my story goes on. That's just how it is.

It's always how it is.

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