"Bakit mo ko dinala dito?" Tanong ko habang nakatingin sa lapida sa aming harapan.
"I thought you wanted to see Mama." Sagot niya habang nilalapag ang bulaklak at sinisindihan ang kandila.
It's been days since I found out that James is his brother and I haven't had the chance to talked to the both of them.
That's why I was surprised when I saw him in front of our building leaning at his car, waiting for me.
Di ko rin alam kung paano niya ako napapayag na sumama sa kanya.
"Katherine brought me here weeks ago."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yes."
"Are the three of you fine now?" He asked pertaining to Rap and Katherine.
"We already talked over it." Tumatangong sagot ko. "Ikaw nga kinakausap ko, sila pa kaya na nandyan para sa akin noong mga panahon na kailangan ko sila." I sarcastically said.
"I'm sure that they didn't want to lie to me. Napilitan lang sila."
"Talliah, look..." Tumingin siya sa akin ngunit nanatili ang aking mata sa puntod ni Tita. "I promised myself to bring you here when I'm ready to tell you everything."
"Everything?" Pag-uulit ko sa kanyang sinabi.
So may hindi pa pala ako nalalaman?
May mas nakakagulat pa ba sa mga nalaman ko?
In a span of a month simula nang dumating siya, biglang malalaman ko na wala na si Tita at kapatid niya si James.
Nothing will surprise me more, I guess.
"Talliah---"
"Can you just stop calling my name and get to the point?"
There's something different in the way he says my name that makes me feel intoxicated to it and that bothers me.
Why am I even allowing him to call me Talliah in the first place?
"Naalala mo ba nung muntikan na akong di makapunta sa birthday mo?" Pagsisimula niya. "Yun yung araw na nalaman kong step-brother ko si James."
What?
"I'm sorry I lied to you saying that it's about a project...But how do you expect me to tell it to you, kung ako mismo hindi pa makapaniwala sa nalaman ko?" Nagbaba siya ng tingin.
"Niloko at pinaniwala kami ni Papa for 19 years...I was so devastated dahil kung hindi ko pa siya nahuli ay hindi niya pa sasabihin sa akin! What tormented me the most ay kailangan ko pa itong itago kay Mama for her own good."
Di nakalampas sa aking paningin ang pagtulo ng luha sa kanyang mata na agad niyang pinunasan.
"But, t-that's your birthday..." Nakangiti siyang bumaling sakin. "So I tried hard to calm myself para mapuntahan ka."Naitakip ko ang aking kamay sa aking bibig.
Ibig sabihin, habang nagtatampo ako sa kanya dahil hindi niya ako binati at hindi siya pumunta ay ganito yung pinagdaraanan niya.
"Sorry..."
"Don't be, wala ka namang ginawa." He faked a laugh. "I've been hiding that to Mama and acting like I'm in good terms with Papa not until that fucking--" Hindi niya tinapos ang kanyang sasabihin at tumalikod sa akin upang kalamahin ang kanyang sarili.
I can't believe that all this time he's been hiding his pain...
"That 'friend' of yours, James, ruined it all! When Mama told us to bought sinigang mix, he c-came at our house. H'he..." He closed his eyes while biting his lips in anger. "Sinabi niya kay Mama lahat, that Papa cheated on her and that he is his son, that's why Mama collapsed." Hurt flashes in his eyes.
I can't utter a word because of shock.
May mas malala pa pala sa mga nalaman ko?
"Nakiusap ako Talliah, I pleaded him na wag muna...kahit hindi ko alam kung bakit ako magmamakaawa sa kanya! Gusto niya gumanti eh wala naman kaming kinalaman sa Ginawa ng magaling niyang tatay!"
"Loize, he's still your Father..."
"Father? He's the reason why Mama passed away Talliah..." Kumawala na sa kanyang mata ang mga luhang kanina niya pa pinipigilan.
I reached for his hand and he accepted it. Holding it tightly as if it is his source of strength.
"P-pwede bang layuan m-mo na si James?"
"He's my friend..."
"He doesn't treat you as a friend. He's just using you to revenge against me."
"N-no..." Umiiling kong sagot.
James has been there for me for 5 years...he's like a family to me.
"I'm sorry for saying that...baka nga nadadala lang ako ng emosyon ko." He squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry for everything Talliah, I didn't mean to leave you...ayoko lang madamay ka sa gulo ko."
Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko kaya iniwas ko ang aking tingin.
His reasons are valid...but the pain that I've experienced cannot be invalidated by those...
"I'm really sorry Talli---Grace." He sighs.
Grace.
For some reason, gusto kong tigilan niya na ang pagtawag sa akin ng Talliah but I also don't wanna hear him calling me Grace.
"The fact na...ayaw mo na magpatawag sa pangalan mo saddens me so much. Ganoon ba talaga kita nasaktan?" He asked while sobbing.
Oo loize, ganoon mo ko nasaktan.
"I'm sorry for coming back." Those words are like bullets that are striking my hearts.
He's been away from home for how many years...He must've missed it so much.
But here he is...being sorry for coming back.
"Tama nga siguro si James." Binitawan niya ang kamay ko at hinilamos ang kamay sa kanyang mukha. "Simula nang dumating ako, gumulo lang ulit ang lahat."
"Don't say that..."
"It's true G-grace...look at you, wasting your tears because of me." Sabi niya at pinahid ang luha sa aking mga mata.
Nanatili ang kanyang kamay sa aking mukha at pinagmasdan ako.
"Hindi kita iniwan dahil hindi kita mahal. I just have to..." He smiled. "Hay, I will miss this face." He jokingly said.
Miss?
"W-what are you talking about?" Natatarantang tanong ko.
"Sinubukan ko lang naman bumalik to patch things up, but I didn't expect that it will be this hard..."
"Loize..."
"I love you in the past, present and I will continue to love you in the future..." Unti-unting nadudurog ang aking puso sa kanyang mga sinasabi.
Kung mahal mo ko bakit mo ko iiwan ulit?
"You're running away again."
"I am just saving you from myself. Masyadong magulo Grace, I don't wanna drown you in this mess."
Ang kamay niya sa aking mukha ay dahan-dahang naglakbay sa aking likod at kinabig ako upang mapayakap sa kanya.
His warmth.
His sent.
His heart beating so close to mine.
"Natatakot ako..." He whispered. "I am afraid to hurt you again."
Tears flowed from my eyes as I feel his shoulder shrugging.
Why is he crying so much? It breaks my heart seeing him like this.
"I love you so much." He gasped "So much...that I have to let you go..."
YOU ARE READING
Back In His Arms
Teen Fiction"What? Ate, di pa ba tapos yang high school crush mo!" "Di pa, hanggang di pa nagiging kami!" Kinikilig kong sabi at mabilis na isinara ang pinto ng banyo. Are you willing to accept the consequences of your action? How much are you willing to take f...
