Stucky's lost daughter (LokixReader)

Chapter twenty seven: the unfolding secrets of the night

We talked for about 3 hours during which he explains more details from the battle and in the end I felt bad for him. I cried a few times during that and he comforted me every time and he we even let me see his battle scars. At some point when the sun went down my papa (Bucky) came into my room and told us to come down to the dinner. When we passed him he didn't even look bad at Loki but I got a look that says 'are you okay'. I simply nodded and went out to.

We joined the others on the table. Of course I sat down next to Loki and on my left side to my surprise Clint sat down. He smiled at me, than turned back around to his plate stuffed with pizza and garlic bread. Loki looked a little bit weird at the food and didn't really knew how to eat that or what to do with it. I told him that he had to pic it up with his fingers and bite into it. He looked at me confused which made me slightly laugh. I still got a little nervous around food especially deep fried or fatty stuff like pizza or cheese stuffed bread with a loaf of oil or melted butter, but that's okay I thought to myself. And with that I also picked up a slice myself and started eating. I took it down bite by bite and eventually finished it. I still don't like the taste of it but in the mean time I saw Loki finishing his third pizza. He said it was very delicious and that Asgardians need more food due to the fact that there are gods. He looked at me a little weird but dropped it for now. After that we chatted for a little while before we headed back into my room.

Once there we laid back on my back on my bed he looked me deep into my eyes. I was a bit nervous. " darling, I already talked a lot but what about you what happened to you. You look a little pale and skinnier that the last time I saw you and on the dinner table please don't be mad at me but I'm concerned about you. " he said softly while cubbing my face with his soft hands. I had tears in my eyes because I didn't really know how to explain everything to him.

When tears started to fall he dried them with his sleeves , hugged me again. When I was ready to tell him I released myself from the hug, sat up and asked him what he knew and what was wrong. I started to tell him how I felt when he had to leave and it felt like my world was collapsing in itself. He than asked what it had to do with the message he got from Heimdal. I told him that I struggle with my mental health due to my past and what I went through. When he looked puzzled at me, I remembered that I'd never told him about it.

Well let's say I started nearly from the beginning of my life. I told him about being kidnapped and held hostage for 8 years. He was so shocked to hear that I had to stopp because he was in a loss of words, I could tell by the look in his eyes. " I still don't know how anyone could do something like that to such an innocent little girl" was all he could get out. "But you are so strong my darling"he looked me directly into the eyes and continued " you are so strong don't you know that my sweet. With all what you went through not everyone would have made it that far, trust me. Most of them would have given up but you carried on and that's what makes you extraordinary and unique. You are the strongest woman I know". Now I had tears in my eyes, but from sadness well kinda but mostly from joy because him saying something like this to me meant so much to to me. "But please continue I presume that that's not all you wanted to tell me" he suggested careful.
And so I told him about the experiments that where performed on me and even a little bit about the torture and the drill I went through and even about the nightmares I still experienced almost every night since then. This took another hour and it was exhausting because it felt like I was reliving every single moment back there at HYDRA. He saw did his best to hide his anger and sorrow but I saw it anyways but that okay. I told him that this was the past but the saw straight through my lies and with a slight smile on his lips he told me "you can't lie to the god of lies remember darling".
The suggested to take a break it was to much for me and so I agreed. With a small move of his hand two cups of tea appeared right in front of us. The tea looks fantastic, he handed me a cup and it even tastes as amazing as it smells.
When the two of us had finished our tea the gestured for me to continue you but said that I didn't have to if I didn't wanted to, but I did it because I wanted to be completely honest with him. I told him how all of this kind of came back went he left and that it got worse when I got the message that he died. "I... I just didn't wanted in a world where you aren't here" I cried "it was just to much and I felt like I had no reason to be here anymore" by now I broke down in tears and told him the rest of, the ending and the coma.
He pulled me into the sweetest hug that was filled with more love and affection that I have ever had in my entire live. "Shh shhh my dear please, I'm here and I promise I'm not going anywhere," he said with his silky honey voice that makes my heart skips a beat." I'm more than grateful that you had the strength to tell me that and I will always support you and be there for you when you need me"he finished
There where a few minutes of silence where I processed what has just happened in the fast few hours. Loki has shown mor emotions that I thought I would ever see and I on the other hand have never talked so much about what I went brought and what's is and was going on in my mind and it just felt amazing. And what didn't left my head where the sweet nicknames he gave me.
He was the first one to break the silence. "Well I on the other hand have also a secret I want to share with you..", "you don't have to just because I told you mine so pease don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with" I begged.
"Don't worry ,I wanted to tell you that for a long time actually " he started.
"Well where do I begin? I'm not hohe real brother of Thor. Odin took me from the battle field where I was left to die" I was shocked, how could you leave someone sweet like him die. " like I said he took me in and said me but he I was never good enough for him. The even let me believe that I was worthy of the throne! " he was now in rage and it kinda scared me. " but that's not the worst part, I'm not even asgardian ...I...I.. I'm a frost giant...I am a monster " he cried with his face full of rage and tears in his eyes.
I gently cupped his face with my hands to make him look at me "listen to me "I said calmly "you're not a monster, you are sweet, kind, loving and caring and the most amazing person I have ever met in my entire life!" I insisted. "No. ..I'm now I look disgusting and horrifying and when you see me true form you will run or laugh or hat me like everyone else before". His voice was cold as ice like I've never seen before. " I won't I promise.." I stuttered out. He slowly looked up with tears in his eyes. He told me softly to let him go so I won't get hurt when he shows me his true form. Suddenly the room got cold as ice, I even could see my own breath. Only the small lamp was enlightening the room. I looked at him but he had turned away from me. I only could see one of his hands and it started to slowly change its color to blue with darker lines on top of it. When he turned back to me I was mesmerized by his beautiful face and his crimson red piercing eyes. I was beyond my words the pattern that I saw on his hand seems to be all over his body because he has the same one on his face and it was stunning. He took my quietness as a form of rejection, lowered his had, turned away from and about to leave but first mumbled " I knew it you are no different that the others. You hate and despise me because I look like a nightmare!!"
I jumped up grabbed his arm and pulled him back on my bed. Again I dubbed his face and looked him deep into his eyes "I don't hate nor despise you I could never do that!" I insisted. "You're so beautiful and not even close to a monster and don't you even dare to think like that about you! And it means the world to me that you share this here with me. I could never hate you" I pleaded. At first he thought that I was lying but I wasn't because I wasn't scared at all. He looked at me and smiled but the smiled fades the moment he saw that I was touching his face. He practically ripped my hands off his face, changed back into the Loki I was used to and inspected very carefully my hands.
"I...I don't understand? You must have gotten frost burns from my face everyone gets them as soon as they tried to touch me in my true form, how come they are not burned?" He questioned me confused. At first I was kinda offended but then I remembered the experiments, smiled and told him that. At first he couldn't believe it, than he smiled hugged me and said"you are truly special" with such warmth in his voice that it filled the entire room.
After that we just looked at each other, than I yawned. "Looks like someone is tiered, aren't you darling " he joked. "I am but only a little bit" I told him.
Despite my protest he layer me down at my bed and tugged me in. I was so sleepy and happy that he was Mack that I didn't want him to leave to I took his army and pulled him into the bed. I cuddled up to him and started to fall asleep with a feeling of warmth, safety and love that only he could gave me. Wow I thought that night was filled with a lot of secrets that are now revealed and I was very happy about that.
"I love you" was the last thing I mumbled before I fall asleep.
Stunned by this Loki couldn't hold himself back and gave you a kiss on your head. He than remembered about the nightmares you would get at night to he dove into your mode to give you sweet dreams. " love you to" he said but but you didn't here it because you where already fast asleep. He than fall asleep too knowing that you are truly accepting him the was he is.