Stucky's lost daughter (LokixReader)

Chapter twenty three: coming back to life

Y/N POV
Darkness surrounds me and everything was quiet and peacefully. Finally I thought that I could rest and find my peace. I mean don't get me wrong, I felt sorry for my family but I just didn't saw another way out my situation. And now I felt no paint or any bad thoughts that crossed my mind.

When I saw a big bright white light shining right in front of me, I slowly moved forward to it. Then I saw a tall person standing there. When I got closer I saw the most stunning woman I've ever seen. She was tall and dressed like a warrior. She had an armor on that I've never seen before. The sword she was carrying along with the shield was kind of weird and new to me. The long blond hair was braided into a long ponytail and the whole outfit was shining in gold that I had to squint my eyes. Also the helmet on her head was quite distracting because it had tiny red wings on either side of it.

She gently looked down at me with a slight smile and the most kind eyes I could've ever imagined. "Your time has not come my dear. You need to go back to your family" she smiled at me. 'But there is nothing to live anymore for. The love of my live has died and no one really loves me. I was in constantly pain and now I'm free!" I told her, "dear listen to me. I'm a Valkyrie I'm here to bring the dead's to Valhalla but your time has not come yet," She explained to me "you are stronger than this and some things in our life's will challenge us to make us stronger. you will get through this I know this. And for the other part your family is always there for you and if you trust me on one thing I know that everything will eventually turn out just fine" she said. "Ok" I mumbled, " I promise you I will try my best" And with that she disappeared and I was left with darkness, again. I started to replay her words in my mind 'your time has not come yet. Everything will turn out just fine' I wondered what she means with that.

An eternity later I could faintly hear voices, it where the ones of my dads and uncle Tony and Bruce. They are talking about me and what I did. I started to think about what I did and what that did to my dads and the rest of my family and I felt sorry. Now that I could rethink everything I realized how stupid and selfish all of this was. Maybe she was, maybe there was more, i mean I'm young and I could try new things but now that I lost all of their trust I don't know, its going to be a tough step to get that back.

And before I realized it I started to wake up, again I was in the med bay. Shit I thought for a second but then I remembered the promise I gave and I decided to give my life one last try and maybe just maybe it will become better.
Not only could I make out more and more sounds around me, no now I could feel some holding my hand and about her hand stroking my head. I tried to open my eyes but there was no luck. now I could heard my dad (Steve) directly talking to me and telling me to try it again. I gave it another shot and this time I actually opened it. i quickly shut them again because the lights where way to bright for my sore eyes. I blinked a few times so that my eyes could adjust to the light and the first thing I saw where my dads looking at me with tears in their eyes. There were so happy to see me that the hug they gave me nearly crashed me.

"D...dads I...I can't breath"I breathed out. They immediately released me and sat back on the bottom sides of me bed. I wanted to speak again but that came out was a groan . For a second they looked at me puzzled but than dad (Bucky) said my throat is sore from not speaking. He quickly left and came back a minute later with a glass of water and a straw. I was more than grateful for that because now I realized how dry my entire mouth was. Both helped me sit up a bit so I could drink and I gulped down the entire glass in no time. I was about to tell them how sorry I am but before I could do that the door opened and Tony and Bruce came in.

"I'm sorry for what I did" I started, "I thought it was the only way out and i didn't think about the consequences and what it will do to you guys" I cried. "It's okay kiddo " Tony started but was interrupted by Bruce "Listen up kid, i know the past few weeks have been pretty rough on you but there are other ways and you could've come to us " he said kindly. "You tried to end your life and that is serious. You almost succeeded and worked really hard to bring you back. To let your body heal we had to put you into a coma " he told me. "A coma!!" I exclaimed shocked " for how was I out?" I asked "you where out for nearly three weeks sweetheart"dad (Steve) said softly. I stayed silent for a few minutes and neither of them said a single word. I looked down at my body and saw lots of cables and wires coming to my body. I saw a heart monitor and other cabled that lead to various maschineschrieb I'm currently hooked up. i also had an IV  with like three bags being hooked to them in my hand and my arms and wrists are bandaged. i looked questions to the others and they explained to me what is inside of all of them. in one of them are just simple fluids to keep me hydrated along with a few meds. The other one contains simple pain medication, that's why I'm not in unbearable pain. The third one is for nutrients which kinda scared me because I know there are probably lots of calories that have gotten into my body without my knowing nor that i had control over it. The tree of them told me to calm down because the anxiety leads to a higher heart rate that they can see in the heart monitor that is connected to.

Great I thought now they pretty sure know what is going on with me and I'm doomed. My dads did some breathing in order to calm me down enough but when that doesn't work they looked questioning at Bruce and Tony for a little help. It took me nearly five minutes to fully calm my self a little. Now that they are all looking at me and asked me what was really going on with me.
I knew it was time to come clean and tell them everything. So I told them what was really going on inside my head because I knew that lying wasn't an option and i needed help.

I told them what I did in the past few months and how it changed me. They only nodded a few times and by the time I was done Bruce told me that all of that now seems to make sense for them. Apparently they saw that something was wrong in my blood and told me that at first they thought it was normal due to the loss I experienced. They also told me that they where so worried about me and blamed themselves for that and for how long it was going on without any of them really noticing an of that. It made me smile and I giggled a little bit. "I mean I was raised by spies and super soldier es i know how to hide things" i giggled and now they could slightly smile with me a bit.
We talked for a little longer and I agreed on a plan on how to recover. They told me that tomorrow we are going to talk this all over and make a final one and last but not least after one more check up in the morning I would be able to leave the med bay.

After all of that I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than sleep. tony and Bruce said good night and left the room. My dads both stayed till I was asleep and went to their room to get themself some sleep.
Tomorrow is a new day that starts with a lot of challenges but I knew that with the help of my family I was going to complete them and with that I fall asleep with my dads stroking my hair.