The Sands Of Tshani 2

Part 16

**Marcel

I hate seeing Anam hurt, I hate seeing her sad and I hate being the reason for those reactions from her. I love her, maybe a little too much even but this? Her way of doing things? I don't think it's working for me. Running away from pain only ever makes the pain worse. One thing I know about her is that she didn't do it for attention but she shouldn't have done it at all! This person has a number of people who love and care about and would literally die before they ever let anything happen to her. I don't understand why she would do something like this; yes, nobody knows the demons she is facing but I would like to believe that through prayer there's no demon that can ever defeat you! After walking out of her room I bumped into her friends with my little sister chatting, I just passed by them without saying anything, I could hear them asking what happened but I just needed to be alone. I needed air! I got outside and went in mom's car and locked myself inside it and drove straight home. On the way I texted Robin to tell me when they want to be fetched and then switched my phone off. When I got home Mo and Dad were in the kitchen cooking together having fun, it was a sight I hadn't seen in a long time and I must say I was glad that they sorted things out. I greeted and headed straight to my room and threw myself on the bed. A while later I heard the door open and close, Mo's perfume filled the whole room which only meant she was here looking for answers. I was laying on my back and she joined me on the bed in the same position.

Her: why the long face? I thought you'd be happy she's alive

Me: I'm glad she is

Her: but?

Me: she and I need a break.

Her: what? Are you crazy? Marcel you can't do that to her. She needs you especially now. How is she supposed to heal with you doing this to her? we both know you love her and you care about her and you disappointed but a break? That's a little to dramatic even for you

Me: what am I supposed to do Mo huh? tell me what am I supposed to do when she chose death over me? Anam chose death over us! she doesn't need me and she made it pretty clear when she took those pills. The Anam I loved died. The Anam I loved would have never took a decision to end her life no matter how bad things are; she just wouldn't have.

Her: I get it you mad. You angry even but she's not dead, she was just confused and she couldn't handle the pain Marcel

Me: I couldn't handle losing grandma but I made do! Her mom couldn't handle being raped and being falling pregnant but she still made do! What was so hard for her?

I was now mad all over again, well not that I had ever stopped being mad but Mo just took me to a whole other level.

Her: calm down please

She said with a calm and shaky voice.

Her: I get it brother. I get you, but try put yourself in her shoes.

Me: NO MONICA!

She was startled that I would raise my voice at her. I am not one to raise my voice, I don't even raise my voice at Robin and she's my little sister. I guess this Anam thing really got to me because I'm not a loud person by nature. We were both sitting up, she just looked at me shocked and not knowing what to say or do.

Me: I'm sorry

Her: its fine.

Me: really Mo I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you

Her: it's really ok Marcel. I understand you mad and you hurt

She opened her arms

Me: what?

I gave her a weirded out look and just smiled at me and called me in with her hands

Her: come one. We both know you need it