Tease Me, Bella Beatrice

22:

"Oo alam ko. She is too precious to lose so I really need to protect her." I said. "Pansin ko lang, ang galing mo na mag-english ah. Ganiyan ba kapag maraming pera?"

"Tanga ka ba? Since elementary pangarap kong makapangasawa ng spokening dollars, you know? Nagpapractice ako baka hindi mo alam." She hissed. "Teka nga. Huwag mong ibahin ang usapan. Sigiraduhin mo talagang hindi ka rurupok ah. Saka iyang tite mo, huwag iyan ang paiiralin mo."

"Bastos talaga ng bunganga mo."

"E anong itatawag ko riyan? Birdie? Isa ka talagang tanga. Tite naman talaga ang tawag diyan. Ah basta pairalin mo 'yang utak mo. Bobo mo pa naman sa pag-ibig." She hissed once again. "Napakatanga mo, promise."

"Grabe na, Maymay. Uuwi na ko kung ganito rin lang naman ang aabutin ko sa iyo. Parang others."

"Umuwi ka. Pake ko sa'yo?"

Napailing na lang ako habang nakatingin sa kaniya. She really is Maymay. Walang halong pagpapanggap. Nanahimik na rin naman kami sandali habang hinihintay ang singsing na pinapalagyan ko ng salita sa likuran. It would take just a couple of minutes since the one doing its job is a professional.

"By the way, fully healed ka na ba?" Tanong ni Maymay mayamaya. She is serious this time. Walang halo ng biro ang bawat salitang binibitawan niya habang nakatingin sa akin. The fact that she only does this once in a blue moon means so much. "Sigurado kang gumaling ka na sa sugat na iniwan ng relasyon ninyo ni Bella?"

I didn't answer. I stayed silent for a while. I want to ask that question myself because to be honest, the exact answer is still a mystery to me. Madaling sabihin na oo. Na nakabangon na ko sa relasyon at sakit na binigay sa akin ni Bella. That that pain even made me a better person and it influenced my life so much but if I say that to myself, I would be lying.

Siguro oo pero hindi pa buo. Medyo may kirot pa rin. I once fixated the idea of Bella being my first true love and that probably is true until now. Totoo namang siya ang una at unang napakasakit na heartbreak din. She was my everything and losing her before, I thought I would lose my world as well. I did though. I felt like I lost my world before because of the idea and expectation I had stored inside of me. Na sobrang komportable ko na kasi sa kaniya noon. I thought to myself that I am the only one who can fix her messed up world, which is true, and she would not dare to leave me nor want to lose me at any cost. Nakulong ako sa idea noon na everything will be messed up kapag nawala siya. But looking at her now, I realized na mali ako because the truth is I was able to be me and be free when we go on our separate ways. Sure, it did punch me real hard. My ego and my emotions but are all worth it now.

"Siguro. Siguro we are meant to be lessons lang talaga sa buhay ng isa't isa, Maymay." I said still looking at Bella still pretending she is talking on the phone. "Honestly, her name still hurts. Ewan ko. Ganoon yata talaga kagrabe ang impact niya sa akin. Sa pagkatao ko. I am healed but not fully. There's still a thin line of wound still not closing. Her name hurts. It still does."

"What if she wants you back?" She asked me. "She changed, Pierce. I can see a lot of improvements on her. Normally, she would make a scene, do a lot of bragging, or we might even be doing some fights right now. Marami siyang opinions na nonsense kung tutuusin but look at her now. She's better."