More Than a Soldier

Chapter 2 - New Normal

Scarlett's POV:

Two months, one week and three days. That's how long it's been since Y/n left for Afghanistan. I would like to say that it's been easy, but it's been far from it. From the moment we watched her plane leave, it genuinely felt like there was a cloud over me. It was a very sombre car journey home with Ava. "She'll be home before you know it bubs." I try to reassure myself as much as her. She doesn't respond, her gaze fixed on the passing trees through the car window. "I like bubs." She mumbles. "It reminds me of mummy." She adds and I make a note to call her that more often. Anything to bring her some comfort. The rest of the journey was quiet, knowing that I should just let Ava, and myself, feel what we need to feel.

Y/n's absence has left this gaping hole in our lives. For the first few weeks, I would instinctively turn over and go to pull her into me, but I was just met with disappointment and cold sheets. I'm surprised that Ava seems to be taking it easier than I am. But even she is having her moments. I know that she misses telling Y/n all about her day. She'll come home from school, and she's always got this look in her eye, that Y/n might just pop out from behind the wall or something. It breaks my heart a little every time that she realises that's not happening.

However, each night she does take the time to write down what she's done. Then every three days she puts them all together and she brings them to me to send out to Y/n. I always make sure to add my own little note too, but I send it separately as I know that Y/n enjoys getting mail. She writes back as often as she can, again, one for me and one for Ava. I've kept every letter that I've received so far. We've also sent out two care packages to her. It's mainly filled with her favourite candy, chocolates and snacks. I've also been sending diet coke out to her as an added treat.

We get a call from Y/n once a week, sometimes more but not often. She is so busy with work and often her down time doesn't line up with us as we're 12 and half hours behind. Though, both Ava and I would happily wake up at 3am to talk to her. But she refuses to allow us to get disrupted sleep. Which is sweet, but I wish she wasn't always trying to do what's best for us. Not in this case anyway.

When I see the phone light up with her name, a smile instantly forms on my face. I get so excited to hear from her. I've found a couple of times, I zone out when she's talking to Ava, I just love the comfort that her voice brings me. It's like in that moment, I know she is safe and well, so I can just enjoy hearing the excited chatter that her and Ava have.

When Y/n can't call, she emails. With emails come pictures. Her first email contained photos of her pod. It made me laugh when Ava's face scrunched up at the camp bed that Y/n is sleeping on. But that soon disappeared when she saw all of the photos on her wall and bedside table. We've also received photos with her platoon. There are a lot of goofy ones in there which we love getting those. She's also shared some of the local villages and Ava has found those quite fascinating. It's a very different way of life there and she is learning new things with every picture.

All of the emails and letters Ava receives are full of love and happiness. She never has a negative thing to say. But she's more truthful in the letters I get. She shares some of her worries and concerns. It makes me think that maybe writing it in a letter is cathartic to her. I know that things are tough out there and even with me, she often sugar coats how some things are to not worry me too much. But sometimes, I can tell she just needs to get things off her chest.

After four weeks of Y/n being away, I had to face my next heartbreak, which was saying goodbye to Ava whilst I went to Atlanta. I can tell you now, that it was almost as hard as watching Y/n's plane leave. It sounds stupid, but I felt completely alone when I arrived at the house in Atlanta. I know I had the cast with me. But all I could think about was my fiancé who is thousands of miles away in a warzone and my daughter in another state, staying with her Auntie.