More Than a Soldier

Chapter 43 - Doubts

Scarlett's POV:

Standing at the end of the aisle, my arm linked around my dad's. I can feel my heart beating so hard that it could beat right out of my chest. But it's not the usual comforting heart increase when I usually see Y/n. It almost feels like it's constricting me, like I can't breathe.

The music starts to play, and I look at all our guests rise to their feet, all eyes on me. Y/n is waiting for me, a huge smile on her face. She looks breath-taking. "It's time sweetheart." Dad whispers to me as he gives my hand a squeeze. But my feet don't move. Y/n notices this almost instantly and her face drops. "I can't do this." I mumble, turning to look at my dad. "What do you mean?" He asks with a shocked look on his face. "I can't marry her." I admit and he drops my hand, a look of disgust washes over him.

"You cannot break that girl's heart again Scarlett." He scolds me. I don't have a response for him. I look down the aisle again, a sick feeling building. It only grows when I see Y/n walking towards me. "Scarlett? Angel?" She calls to me as she tries to give me a reassuring smile, but I can see the complete panic take over her eyes.

Before she can get any closer, I spin on the spot, and I run towards the exit of the building. I can hear people call after me, but I don't stop. I reach the door and push it open, taking in a deep breath as I get to the fresh air. The suffocating feeling starting to fade. "Scarlett!" I hear from behind me. I make the mistake in stopping and turning around to the source of the sound.

I wish I never did. I can see the heartbreak on Y/n's face and Ava is stood in the doorway behind her, her eyes red from crying. "Where are you going?" Y/n asks me, taking a careful step towards me. "I need to go." I tell her, trying to avoid eye contact. "Go where my love?" She asks me calmly, reaching out to take my hand. I let her.

"Don't call me that." I growl at her. "Scarlett, please talk to me. What's going on? Are you leaving me?" She asks, the hurt evident on her beautiful features. I lock eye contact with her and find a wave of confidence. "Yes." I state clearly. At the one word reply, she drops my hand. "This has to be some sort of joke." She sadly chuckles. "It's for the best Y/n. The best for you." I try to tell her, but she just shakes her head.

"Do I not get a say in this? We have a life together Scarlett. We have a daughter, we planned on more. How can you just suddenly decide that you don't want that, us, anymore." She shouts at me as I turn my back to her. I can't respond. I don't have the energy to fight on this. I have to leave.

After I don't respond, I hear footsteps get closer again. "I'm telling you now Scarlett, if you leave, if you get in that car and drive away. This is it. No more chances. You lose me. You lose Ava. There will be no coming back to fix this when you decide that you're ready to love us again. We'll be gone and you'll never see us again." She says calmly but firmly. The thought of never seeing either of them again brings fear to my heart. I love them with everything that I have, but I can't be here. I can't marry Y/n. It's a sacrifice that I have to make. It's what's best.

I look up to Y/n and cup her face, tears falling down her cheeks, her makeup ruined. "I'm sorry." I whisper as my thumb wipes away her tears. With that, I turn around and get into the waiting car and watch them as I drive away. I see Y/n pick up a sobbing Ava and getting into a car of her own. That's it. I've lost them. There is no coming back from this anymore. But it's what's best. They deserve so much more than I could ever give them.

I wake up with a jolt, gasping for air. My hands fly to my mouth to cover the sobs that are threatening to come out. I look down beside me to see a peacefully sleeping Y/n. It only makes my heart slow slightly. It was all a dream. I didn't leave her. I work to calm my breathing, scared to wake Y/n. I can't tell her what that dream was about. What does that say about me?