More Than a Soldier

Chapter 4 - Casualty

A/n: I didn't actually plan to publish this today. Life is kicking my ass this week, so it was going to wait until next week. But I thought I'd be nice. Besides, some of you are scary! 😂

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Scarlett's POV:

The door to my trailer slams open as Robert and Tom come running in. As soon as they see the state of Lizzie and I, they instantly know something is wrong. Robert rushes towards us and kneels in front of me. He softly places his hand on my knee to gain my attention. I could see his eyes have glossed over as he tries to understand what's going on. "Scarlett, hey. Look at me. What's wrong?" He asks, keeping his voice soft.

Lizzie squeezes me when I don't respond. I can't bring myself to say out loud what just happened. Just the thought of it makes me sob harder. "We were on a video call with Y/n." Lizzie starts to explain, her voice shaking as she speaks. "T-there was what seemed to be an explosion. The call went dead before we could see if Y/n was ok or not." She quickly finishes off, clearly struggling herself.

Robert's face drains of colour as tears start to fall. "Ava." I mumble, my sobs calming down. "She's still with Seb. Do you want me to get her?" Tom asks but I quickly shake my head. "I don't want to worry her until we know more." I say with a bit more confidence. I want as much information as I can before I talk to her. "I need to call someone, see if we can find something out." I say, releasing myself from Lizzie's hold. I need to do something. I can't just sit here and cry without knowing if she's ok or not.

I look up to see Robert on the phone with Susan, asking her to come to set. Lizzie then takes my hand as I go to stand up. "What can I do?" She asks, looking helpless. "I just need you with me." I admit, almost shyly. I need my best friend right now. I need her comfort. "I can do that." She smiles sadly at me. I grab my phone to start looking for a number to call. Robert is suddenly next to me, a comforting hand on my knee. "Are you ok to call her work and I'll call a couple of contacts that I've got." He says and I nod, deciding to just dial her work number.

It's a long shot but I need to do something. My heart is pounding in my chest as I wait for the call to connect. I don't have to wait long until the phone is picked up by a Captain Lawson. I explain the situation to him, and he is concerned himself. He tells me that they haven't heard anything yet but offers to make some calls of his own. He takes my number with the promise to get back to me as soon as he knows more. I have no idea how I managed to hold it together whilst on the phone with him, but as soon as I hang up, I break down once again. Luckily, Lizzie is there to catch me.

All the sound around me becomes muffled as I start to over think. I can't live without Y/n. We are meant to get married and have a long and happy life together. I can't raise Ava without her. How do I even start to explain this to Ava? Shit, I need to call Sophie! These thoughts are swirling in my head, and they only stop when I feel two hands on my cheeks. "I need you to try and follow my breathing Scar. Focus on me ok."

Lizzie's panicked voice breaks through as my eyes find her teary ones. It's then I realise that I'm having a panic attack. Which makes me panic even more as I've never had one before. "Deep breath in." She over exaggerates her breathing as she coaches me to calming down and catching my breath again. "That's it, great job." She encourages me. It's a struggle, but I manage to calm down and try to block those intrusive thoughts. That was horrible, and I can only imagine what it's like for Y/n and Lizzie who have these far more often.

I give Lizzie a small smile when I feel my breathing return to normal. "Thank you." I husk, my voice hoarse from crying. A bottle of water appears in my eye line, and I turn to see Robert. I thank him and take lots of sips. "Mama what's wrong?" My eyes snap to the trailer door where I see Ava standing with a worried look and Seb unsure of what he's walking in on. "Oh, mama's fine. I just got a little sad." I try to explain as she runs to me and wraps her little arms around my neck tightly. It brings me so much comfort to hold her, but I have no idea what to tell her. Instead, I pull her in close to me, fighting off the sobs that want to wrack my body.