More Than a Soldier

Chapter 58 - Giving Your Mind a Rest

Scarlett's POV:

Working in the café proved a little difficult. My mind kept wondering off to Y/n and hoping that she was ok. But the longer she was gone, the more successful I assumed the meeting was going. I was nervous for her. I've not seen her like that before. She was so vulnerable.

Although she has never let being a foster kid define her, I know that there has always been a deep seeded feeling of abandonment and not being wanted. She does so well to hide it, but the more I've come to know Y/n, the more I see those little moments of insecurities that she tries to hide.

I desperately want this meeting to go well for her. I know she doesn't necessarily want to have a relationship with them, but I'm glad that she has the chance to have some control and get the answers she deserves. Maybe it would be good for them to have some form of relationship from this. Though without actually knowing the reasons why they gave her up, maybe that just isn't going to be a possibility.

The staff in the café are lovely and as soon as my drink gets low, they come over to take my order for another. I've also had one too many slices of cake, but they're all home made and are delicious. I even had them box up a couple of slices of brownie that I know Y/n will love.

Although it's not the most productive time. I get some emails sorted and have a phone call with Kate Foster. We're moving forward with starting our own skin care line. When I'm back in LA, we're going to meet up and plan how we go about starting it all. She's really great and has a lot of knowledge in this industry so I know I've got the best partner to start this with.

She's also really supportive of the fact that Y/n and I are hoping to grow our family. She knows that is a big reason for me doing this now as it gives me some stability and the also flexibility with where I am. Well, until we start filming Black Widow at the end of next year. It's crazy to think that we might have another child by then.

Whilst I'm smiling away, thinking of us being a family of four, Ava being the best big sister and getting to see Y/n with a baby. I don't notice the door to the café open, or the presence stood over me. "What's got you all smiley?" Hearing my love's voice snaps me out of my dream state and I shoot up to hug her. "Babe! You're back. How was it? Are you ok?" I rush out as I cup her cheeks and look into her eyes, hoping to see how she's truly feeling.

She chuckles at my response and indicates for me to take a seat. She orders a tea when the waitress comes over, noticing the new addition to the table, and then focuses her eyes one me. "Well? Are you going to keep me in suspense?" I ask her, reaching over the table to take her hand. "It went...ok. I think. They were nice." She says without any real conviction.

"Ok. You sound conflicted." I observe and she sighs. Before she can respond, the waitress comes over with her tea, which Y/n gratefully takes and starts to pour it from the teapot into the mug. "They were really nice. They answered all my questions and got to know me a bit more. But I don't know. Something just didn't feel right." She admits, and I can see the uncertainty in her eyes.

"How do you mean baby?" I ask her, wanting to help her process this. "It's going to sound stupid." She responds but I frown at her. "Nothing you're feeling is stupid." I tell her firmly. She takes a moment, clearly trying to form her words. "I guess I just got the feeling that wanting to see me now was more of a tick of the box because Dale's dad died. That it was lead by guilt rather than a desire to meet me." She explains, carrying on to share the reason they gave for getting in contact. "There was a part of me that was hoping they had been desperately wanting to find me and I left a big gaping hole in their lives. As selfish as that is." She shares her feelings, and I can understand that.

"But I genuinely think their lives were much better by not having me in it. Do they regret the whole situation? Maybe, but I don't think they would change it. Does that sound weird?" She looks up to me, her brow furrowed. "Firstly, everyone's lives are better if you're in it." I tell her with a wide grin, and she rolls her eyes at me, though I notice the smile tug at her lips. "Secondly, that doesn't sound weird at all. You had a rough childhood, and you were hoping that they would at least have wished that they kept you or regretted it all to make that seem somewhat better." I reassure her and I see her shoulders relax a little.