More Than a Soldier

Chapter 16 - Two weeks

Y/n's POV:

Even without an alarm, my body woke me up at 5am. I groaned when I saw it was still dark outside. I hadn't had the best night sleep. I kept reliving moments from Lashkargah, thinking what we could have done differently. What I could have done differently. My body is screaming at me as I climb out of bed, knowing that sleep isn't going to come back.

Keeping up my routine, I head to the gym hoping that it might help to clear my mind. After running for half an hour, I give in. My body is too tired, and I don't want to push myself too far. I just don't feel right today. I'm still so tired but my body doesn't want to do anything. Since I've been here, I've barely had time to stop and take a moment. It's like my brain and body don't know what to do when I'm not working.

On autopilot, I shower and make my way to the mess tent for some breakfast. Some of our platoon are already in there and I can see the zoned-out looks on some of their faces too. This last week had really done a number on all of us, and we were successful. I can only imagine the damage had we lost or taken more casualties.

I plan to go and see Hamza this morning, but it's still a little early so I do some of the boring tasks that I've put off. Things like cleaning my kit and bits of paperwork. I don't even think about starting to write up the report for this last week. That can wait until tomorrow. I just need a break from it all today.

Just before lunch I start on the walk towards the medical wing. It's quite a walk but I use the time to prepare myself for seeing Hamza. I know it's not my fault that he got hurt, but I can't help but think that I just dropped the ball for a moment. I got complacent.

When I arrive at the camp hospital, I make my way to reception and let them know who I'm here to see. The nurse there kindly shows me to his room. From the window I can see him hooked up to different machines. He still looks pale but he's conscious. He must sense a presence at the window as he looks up and our eyes meet. He gives me a smile and gingerly lifts his hand to wave me in.

I return the smile and move towards the door. "Good to see you awake." I greet him, taking a seat by the side of his bed. "You know, you didn't have to go to such extremes to get a break from the battle." I joke with him earning a laugh. But he quickly stops as it causes him to cough. "Don't make me laugh." He protests. "Sorry." I apologise at a mumble a double meaning to the word. Something he seems to pick up.

"I lost concentration. I got overconfident in the fact we were progressing so well and for a moment I let my guard down and wasn't aware of our surroundings. It was lucky I didn't get anyone else hurt too." He speaks before I can even say anything. "We had been fighting for over 24 hours. We were exhausted. No one was in the wrong." I tell him firmly. He certainly wasn't at fault. "Exactly." He responds with an accomplished smile as he's proven his point. I shake my head at let out a low chuckle but leave it be. "How are you feeling?" I ask him, moving the subject on. "Sore. Being shot hurts." He complains. "Tell me about it." I chuckle. "Is Saba going to visit you?" I question, knowing that he's going to be in here for a week or two.

His gaze drops and he shakes his head. "She can't get over here from the village." He explains. "It's too far for her to walk and we have our son too who can't be left." He carries on. "I'm sorry. I'm sure she's worried about you." I respond. "I was able to call her this morning so she's feeling a little better about it." He smiles at the thought of speaking with his wife.

We talk for a little while, but I can see he's getting tired, and I don't want to force him to stay awake. "Make sure you visit before you fly home." He instructs me. "Of course. I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye." I agree easily. I think it will be a hard goodbye. He's become a great friend and I know I'll unlikely see him again. "Don't go causing anyone any trouble. I'll check in with you later in the week." I warn him and he nods.