blood runs red ✓

XXI

'i'd lost myself in the abyss of someone else's tyranny... again'

- cassandra giovanni 

august

"We need another drink. Excuse us." Sean smiled, nodding at Mr Cirillo and walking away. His hand wrapped tightly around August's wrists, making him wince as he walked along with his boyfriend.

"Sean let go, you're hurting me."

Once Sean got to the bar, he turned to face August. "Oh I'm hurting you? How about how I feel, knowing my boyfriend is doing shit with other men. Who was it, hmm? What businessman from a meeting room did you get on your knees for?"

"I didn't get on my knees for any businessman." He spat. It wasn't a truth, but wasn't a lie either. It fit in nicely with that small grey area. Half-truth.

"Drink." Sean shoved vodka and coke into August's hand, knowing full well he didn't like drinking in public. It made him anxious, and heightened all his emotions. Jealousy was one.

See, August was an observer. That's who he was. And for a while, as Sean stood around chatting to important people, sipping his vile drinks, he noticed something that made him jealous. 

A girl, no, a woman, a fucking beautiful woman was talking to Ares. And then they seemed to be doing more than talking. She was so close to Ares, holding onto his arm. They looked like a picture-perfect couple, and it made August feel sick.

He'd seen the woman before in a magazine. Now, he couldn't remember her name, but he knew for sure that she was important. She looked model-worthy, and damn right she was. She was the first Jordanian supermodel that America had seen, and the best. 

Despite August being attracted to only men, he couldn't deny it: that Arab supermodel was fucking gorgeous. She deserved someone like Ares, he decided, and it made his jealousy worse. He didn't want to drink, because he could potentially storm over and try to take Ares away.

Ares isn't mine.

Underneath all the denial, the shame and crippling loyalty he had for Sean, August wished he was Ares'. Not sexually, but romantically. He wanted to be with his boyfriend's rival, but couldn't admit it to himself yet.

"Drink." Sean repeated, more sternly this time. He wanted to see August's stability crumble, and then he'd decide what else to do.

"I don't want to."

"Don't be pathetic. I ordered your usual, so drink it." He spat. "It would be selfish to waste something that a nice man made just for you. Drink."

August grimaced at the taste of vodka, despite it being diluted with coke. He closed his eyes and imagined he was at home, safe, before downing the small glass. He looked at his boyfriend, who seemed mildly impressed, but still angry.

"What?"

Sean put both of their glasses down before dragging his boyfriend away, his grip far too tight for August's liking. It was the same place as earlier, meaning it hurt so much more. There was a bruise forming there for sure.

Sean shoved him into the men's room, pushing him against the wall and choking him. "Who the fuck were you messing around with earlier?"

"I wasn't-"

Sean squeezed his boyfriend's throat dangerously hard. August was struggling to breathe, his air flow being restricted. He couldn't find an answer, mainly because he couldn't breathe either, but also because what was he supposed to say? 

"Answer me."

August wrapped his hands around Sean's, trying to pull them off. It only made the man choke him harder, and things became much scarier instantly.

How the fuck can I reply if I can't fucking breathe? You're going to kill me, Sean.

When August seemed close to passing out, Sean let go, only to choke him again. He only just barely got oxygen in his lungs before it disappeared. He mentally cried out for someone, anyone, to come in and liberate him. From Sean, his house, his threats. Everything.

After all this time, August still imagined someone coming to rescue him, to pull him out of the darkness in which Sean left him in. He'd done so his entire life, whether it was his mother's abuse or his own; he wished to be saved. And now, he felt something that absolutely terrified him.

He wanted Ares to save him.

As his vision darkened, and he saw a shadowy figure that he imagined as Ares, the world dropped and he felt like he was spinning. He felt himself hit the cold tiles beneath him, but he was too out of it to react. 

"Get up. You're pathetic, honestly." 

August didn't reply, so Sean lifted him by his hair, but not to his feet. He was pulled up to his knees, and that was when the shorter man realised what was going on. "No, no, Sean, no-"

Sean slapped him, cutting him off. "Oh shut it. You're so embarrassing. A simple blowjob and you're freaking out. You'd do it for that businessman, wouldn't you?"

"I didn't do anything with any businessman!"

Sean ignored him and unzipped his pants, letting his cock fall out, hitting August in the face. "Suck."

August shook his head incredibly fast, making him dizzy. His throat hurt from being choked and his head hurt from falling on the floor. He didn't want to do this, not with Sean, not with some businessman. He didn't want this with anyone.

"What? You can't do this for me, hm? Bet you would do it for Ares."

"I-" August began, only to have Sean silence him with his dick. He choked immediately and tried to push him out with his tongue, but Sean pushed in further, holding his boyfriend's head in place.

August found himself focussing on the door a few metres behind his boyfriend. It seemed like someone just closed it, quietly, but he brushed off his imagination. He felt like he'd hallucinated everything, including that shadowy figure.

"Look who stopped fighting. You're my good little boy, aren't you?"

Bite it off.

August looked up at his boyfriend, glaring at the man who didn't understand what consent meant. No means no, but of course Sean wouldn't fucking understand that. August wondered if he'd act the same with other people, or maybe he was the only poor victim to Sean's relentless abuse.

"Don't look at me like that. You know you like this."

August did not like this. In fact, he wasn't even doing anything. He just let himself be used for Sean's pleasure, because he had no energy to fight or help. He was surprised his boyfriend hadn't had a go at him for not doing anything. He continued to look up and glare at the older man.

"Keep looking at me like that and I'll pinch your nose and choke you out."

August's gaze immediately lowered, and he found himself looking at his hands. He'd been subconsciously tapping them against his thigh with one hand, the other one spelling something out. 

A R E S