blood runs red ✓

LIII

'scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. realise the strength'

- henry rollins

august

August walked back into his outhouse, tired. He was so fed up of having to rely on everyone else in his life to do things for him. He missed the short time of his life where he had independency. He missed the short time of his life without his dad, without Sean. When it was just him and his mom.

But he felt free. He felt lightweight. Ares was going to protect him. Ares was going to protect his mom. As long as his mom was safe, he didn't care what happened to him. If Sean hurt him or got Andrew to hurt him, he didn't care. Juliette Lopez would be safe and that was all that mattered.

Ares Cirillo would always be better than Sean Matthews. 

Sean barged into the outhouse once more. August was sleeping, peacefully for once, and Sean barged in, threw the covers off and threw August onto the floor as well. The Venezuelan man looked up at his boyfriend in confusion, tiredness and pain.

"What the hell?"

"Be quiet."

August did so.

"Juliette's gone missing. Where's your mommy gone, Auggie?"

August wanted to throw up. There were a lot of things that Sean did that made him uncomfortable, but this made him most uncomfortable. That nickname reminded him of his mom in a beautiful way, but every time Sean used it, it made his insides feel like shrivelling up.

"I don't know."

"Maybe Andrew got to her. Or maybe you got your fuckbuddy to go find her and take her away from me. Who's to say he won't do anything to her?" Sean stalked towards August. "Isn't he a massive fuckboy? Gonna do what Andrew did to her?"

"Shut up." August couldn't take that. He knew Ares wouldn't, but it was still too far. "Shut up."

"You gonna raise your voice at me? Stand up, bitch, let's see what the fuck you're gonna do to me."

August stayed where he was.

"Stand the fuck up, August."

August stayed sat, which angered Sean, because even though he wasn't fighting back, he was still defying. Sean reached down and grabbed August's neck and squeezed tightly as he lifted him up and slammed him into the wall again. 

"Where's your fucking mom?"

"I don't know." August choked out.

Sean didn't like that answer, so he squeezed tighter. August was terrified, to be truthful. He was terrified that Sean might actually break his neck and kill him. He had no leverage over August anymore, not really. Juliette was free. August didn't need to worry.

But he was, now, because Sean was powerless in a powerful way. Sean could make sure August never leaves because he'd be dead. Sean could kill him and no one would bat an eye. He didn't have any way to keep August around, so why keep him alive? 

Sean said he'd kill August if he ever left, but August didn't believe him because the man was drunk and they both knew Juliette was tying August down, making sure he couldn't leave. Now, she wasn't. August was free and even more trapped at the same time.

A part of him didn't mind. He didn't mind dying because he knew the world wouldn't end and his mom was safe and Ares could go back to being a playboy. Nothing would change if he died. He didn't really mind that.

Get out. Get out and then you're free.

Andrew was still around. That still terrified him.

What if Andrew came and finished the job for him? He wasn't afraid of going back to prison. He told August that when he was put in. August remembered it so clearly.

"When I get out, if your useless mom is still alive, I'll fucking kill her. And if she's gone, I'll fucking kill you. If only you'd not done this to me. But it doesn't matter. I'm not scared of prison. It'll be worth it if I kill you and that waste of space bitch."

Sean finally let go of August, and he fell to the floor, gasping for air. He'd honestly never been so scared in his life. He needed to get out, but at the moment, all he could do was try to breathe again. It felt like he couldn't, despite there being nothing to block his airways.

His throat was tight when Sean squeezed it, but even after, his throat didn't feel free. His breathing wasn't normal, instead abrupt and erratic. His heart was beating so fast that he thought it might break through his ribcage and, oh fuck, he was dying.

But he wasn't dying, because Sean was still there, standing and glaring, and the floor was still cold against his palms, and his eyes were wet with tears but they were open and things were clear. His heart was slowing down and his throat wasn't tight anymore.

He could breathe. What a beautiful feeling.

"You done with that attention seeker shit?"

Sean knew what it was. He'd seen August have a panic attack so many times, and during the start of their relationship, he learnt how to help. But then he stopped and started mocking August for it. He knew what a panic attack was, and that's why it bothered August so much to be called an attention seeker for it.

How did he change so much?

August felt like he mourned their relationship sometimes, which was ironic because it hadn't even ended yet. He wished it had ages ago, but then he wouldn't have met Ares. He wouldn't change any of that for the world.

"Tell me where your fucking mom is, August."

"I don't know, okay? I don't fucking know. Ares might've done something, but he didn't tell me shit about it."

"Give me your phone."

August and Ares didn't text often, and despite that, August deleted most of their texts regardless. His last text from Ares was simply, do you need a ride, and August said no. And even so, August hadn't told Ares anything regarding his mom's whereabouts, and Ares hadn't said anything about taking Juliette away.

All August did was trust the man, and he hadn't lost that trust.

Sean didn't like that he couldn't prove August did something, and took out his anger by kicking August repeatedly, and leaning down to punch him as hard as he could all over. August eventually passed out because he couldn't take the abuse any longer.

Sean didn't let that stop him from relieving his stress in a different way.