blood runs red ✓

XXXIX

'sometimes i put in so much effort, and it all goes completely wrong'

- unknown

Ares

After over a month of moping around and waiting for August to come crawling back, Ares realised it wasn't going to happen. If he was going to get August back, he had to give the man a reason to return. 

Coping with sex, drugs, etc was not something August would approve of, so obviously he wouldn't come back and accept Ares. So the boxer attempted to get clean, again, and he fucking hated it. He decided not to become fully sober, and instead try to stop using intoxicants as much as he usually did.

And since he'd drank and done drugs much more than usual after his unofficial-somewhat-relationship breakup, his tolerance was higher and that made weaning off much more difficult. 

So he chose to quit getting high for the time being; he'd always drank more than he did drugs, so it wasn't hard to stop, as long as he had alcohol. Not drinking as much was fucking awful, though.

He busied himself in the gym and work, which shocked Florence. Ares was actually turning up to meetings and attempting to look good for the press, which was everything his manager had been begging him to do for ages. 

Though he had so many distractions, there still weren't enough. He needed sex and alcohol like it was oxygen, but August would never approve of that. August wanted to be exclusive, so if Ares stuck to sleeping with only the Venezuelan man, then maybe he'd be able to convince said Venezuelan man to leave Sean. 

And get with Ares instead.

So Ares had to quit another unhealthy coping mechanism. Without sex, he was always in the gym, if not in meetings, because he needed to be physically active. His personal trainer yelled at him often, but Ares never listened. 

It took him a while, but eventually he managed to be fully clean from drugs, lowered his sex drive drastically and didn't drink as much as normal. And it was all for August - sweet, beautiful August - who refused to see Ares.

Ares wasn't a beggar, and he would never make himself vulnerable in front of anyone, so reaching out to his ex-fling was hard to do. When he did, August simply ignored him. Ares didn't understand why, even though his text was just:

Can we talk? 

So Ares resorted to stalking. He didn't call it stalking, but it was definitely that. He found out when Sean's next match was and then went over, knowing August would be there for support. 

He should be coming to my matches to support me.

Ares snuck in to see his rival's match, making sure said rival didn't notice him, and scoured the room to find his rival's boyfriend. August didn't see Ares, but Ares saw him, and made his way over to the man stealthily, dragging him away without anyone noticing.

"What the f- Ares?"

"You didn't reply to my text." Ares said bluntly, unsure on how to start this conversation. I'm gonna sound like such an idiot. "I want to talk to you."

"I didn't reply for a reason." August didn't look at Ares at all, instead staring at the floor. "I thought you'd have a bit more common sense and realise that's me indirectly saying no."

Ares scoffed. "You should've said that then."

"Would you have dragged me away to talk anyway?"

"Yes."

August stayed silent to prove his point, one that Ares ignored completely. He was going to talk to this man whether he liked it or not. Ares wasn't used to rejection, and it showed.

"What would the great Ares, God of War, Cirillo like to talk about then?"

Fuck. This was the hard part. Ares didn't think this part of his plan through; actually talking about how he felt and being vulnerable, exposed, made him feel sick. This was miles out of his comfort zone.

"Right, you don't actually wanna talk." August rolled his eyes, muttering to himself. "I'll be off then. Great chat."

Ares grabbed the smaller man's arm to stop him, retracting it when he jerked away immediately. Ares had noticed August's defensive reflexes multiple times whilst they hooked up, but chose to ignore it. Now, he didn't ignore it. He just didn't verbalise what he saw.

"What?"

"I'm sorry." 

The words were out of Ares' mouth before he could think it through. He felt so weak for apologising, despite it being a very small thing. He wasn't used to letting his guard down.

"Okay?"

"I said I was sorry?"

August laughed bitterly. "You think a simple sorry is all it takes to magically fix everything? You're delusional, Cirillo."

"It wasn't even that big of a deal."

Ares realised he fucked up immediately, especially when he saw the way August reacted.

"Wasn't that big of a deal?" August repeated. "You said you'd never date me, dismissed my feelings and then shouted at me multiple times, and when you got fed up of me, you- you- your hands, they-"

"Spit it out."

"You were going to hit me."

Silent. Ares was silent. He knew he had a short temper, and that violence was literally his career, but he knew that no matter how angry he got, he wouldn't ever hit August. He didn't want to hit the younger man when they fought. 

Why the fuck did he think that?

"What?"

"You were shouting, and your hands turned into fists like you were about to punch me, and you were visibly angry and way too close to me." He described the scene in detail, which led Ares to the conclusion that his ex-fling had thought a lot about it. "You were obviously going to hit me."

"I wasn't."

Ares couldn't help but wonder: the flinching and the assumption that everyone wanted to hit him- was August being abused? It would explain why he was dating such an awful person like Sean. 

"It doesn't matter. We fought and you made some things perfectly clear. I got it. Let's move on and go our separate ways."

The boxer sighed. "I don't want that. I want you. I don't know what it is about you, but you're like this drug that I'm addicted to. I need you back."

"For my body, right?"

"No- well, maybe at the start, but that was because I didn't know you and all I saw was a pretty body and a pretty face, but then I got to know you. And then I won you from Sean but then I actually liked you, so I stayed with you."

The man really needed to learn how to shut the fuck up.

"You won me?"

Ah, fuck.