blood runs red ✓

EPILOGUE

'after all this time, i'm still into you'

- paramore

august

August travelled with Elijah for two years. Elijah had to travel to film scenes for work, and he asked August to come along. August wanted to say no, but his mom had died very recently, and he felt nothing tethering him to Manhattan, not after he left Ares.

He very abruptly left, leaving a resignation letter at the physiotherapy rehab he worked at. He asked Lana, politely, not to reach out because he needed to leave his old life behind for a little bit in order to heal. Lana understood, and she didn't tell Ares either. 

August had enough money saved up from work to afford to travel with Elijah, even though a lot of it was paid for by Elijah's film staff. They travelled through various countries for scenes, and going through Spain was comforting, because August could speak Spanish to random people there, and it made him miss his mom, but he felt close to her too.

He decided some day he'd go visit Venezuela, and try and find his mom's family there. 

Going through Italy and Greece meant that August couldn't keep Ares out of his head. At one point, he heard someone say tesoro, and he had to stop walking and just clear his head, because he was meant to move on and heal for his own sake, and he couldn't do that if he couldn't stop thinking about Ares.

The series Elijah was acting in had a storyline with an abusive relationship, and that messed with August's head for a while. Elijah realised quickly and offered to pay for August's flight home, or to make sure August was never there when they were shooting those specific scenes. However, August denied.

Watching actors portray something he actually went through was hard, but it was exposure therapy of some sort. August watched the storyline get filmed for months, and the first few months were hard. August had flashbacks and panic attacks a lot for the first few months, but eventually, it wasn't as hard anymore.

By the end of the two years, when the series was fully filmed, August could watch the actors portray an abusive relationship without flinching, without being reminded of his own past. And at certain points, he'd even shared personal experiences to make the acting seem more authentic.

Everyone on set soon realised that August was definitely the person Sean Matthews had abused, but no one sold the story out. People kept his secret, because they'd all seen August react to the abuse, and they knew it was bad. Hearing his personal experiences only made them sympathise more, so no one exposed August.

Before he went to travel with Elijah, August had been surrounded by press and his name and face was all over the internet, and he hated it. But because he went to foreign countries that weren't as concerned about American gossip, he felt safe again. Even though there was paparazzi for the show and cameras on set, he felt private.

Going around the world for two years with Elijah was everything he needed and more. August was healing, and it was fucking beautiful. There were days where he missed Ares, and bad nights where he missed Sean and the abuse, but he was healing. Elijah was there whenever things got bad, and August did the same for Elijah.

But then the series was finished, and it was time to go back to Manhattan.

August wasn't afraid.

The first thing August did when he got to Manhattan was visit his mom's grave. 

Elijah waited in the car for an hour as August spoke to Juliette Lopez's gravestone. August spoke about everything that happened in the two years he'd spent away from home, and he talked about how everything finally seemed better. He spoke about how he wasn't afraid anymore, how he thought, for the first time ever, he was truly free.