blood runs red ✓

XLIV

'when you're comfortable with someone, you don't look for anyone else'

- daniela pestova

august

Despite August wanting to stay as far away from Ares as possible, to protect himself, he still went back to the Greek-Italian man. He couldn't help himself. Ares was a safe haven, a refuge from all the shitty things in his life. Ares might've been a benefactor to that, but not anymore. He was trying.

And August always ran back to people who hurt him. It was different and similar with Ares.

Ares stayed true to his promise and was there anytime August felt like shit, and even though seeing the bruises on the Venezuelan man's face made the boxer livid, especially knowing there were more bruises underneath his clothes, Ares stayed quiet. He held August and distracted him, like he promised.

And for some reason, it felt perfect for both of them. Like nothing happened at all.

This was home.

"Do you think you'd ever break up with Sean?"

"I'm not sure."

"Why not?"

August sighed. "He knows stuff about me that... that I can't escape from."

"So he's blackmailing you?"

The ex-physiotherapist stayed quiet. He thought that silent confirmation would be enough, and it would mean he technically didn't say anything.

"What about?" Ares laughed at himself. "Sorry. Obviously you wouldn't want to talk about it. Unless you would?"

"I don't."

He nodded. "Is it anything I can help you with? I know Sean's all tough and scary and has contacts and all that bullshit, but I am too. That sounds so vain. I don't mean it like that."

"I know what you mean, but, you know, it's about trust as well as past bad experiences. I didn't trust him; I was drunk and too open. I don't think I'd ever be able to talk about it again." August explained. "It's not you. I trust you. Kinda. I mean, sorry, but, you know.. shit's fucking difficult."

"I get that."

August leaned into Ares' shoulder. They were sitting on the rooftop as always. The past few weeks, they'd only met up outside, mostly at the rooftop. Ares offered to bring August back to his apartment and they could watch shitty rom coms, because August liked them somehow, but the Venezuelan man declined.

That was where it all happened, after all. He didn't want to go back to the place where a gun got pointed at him and then had two horrible flashbacks and a fucking panic attack. All the other pretty memories from Ares' apartment were trumped by that singular awful one.

So it was safe to say August wouldn't be going home with Ares for a while. He didn't think he'd have the mental strength for that.

"I hate my dad because my mom died in hospital after a car accident and my dad could've done something about it and he didn't."

August sat up and looked at Ares. Opening up was something the boxer had been very clear about: he fucking hated it and refused to do it. And his parents were a very touchy subject.

"You don't have to talk about it." August began.

"I want to. I trust you." Ares said simply. And he did. "I was supposed to take Lana, my sister, to work, but I was lazy and busy playing fucking games, so my mom did. They swerved off of the road because of a drunk driver and my mom was in a coma for two weeks before she flatlined. My sister tore her ACL and still struggles a bit now. It should've been me."

"Ares-"

"I started drinking and using heavily after that. I was eighteen, and only got sober a few years later because my sister was supposed to be a boxer with me and I saw how much she was struggling and I figured, I'd get better for her. If she couldn't box, I would for her. For my mom too. To live up to her legacy."

"But you still drink?"

"I relapsed on my mom's should've-been fiftieth. Just hit me that she could've been here, but my deadbeat dad didn't help us out. He had the money, the resources, the contacts, all of that bullshit. But he didn't. Absent half my fucking life and only came back when I became famous. Fucking bastard."

"I'm sorry. Leonardo's a fucking jerk. Your mom seemed like a beautiful woman."

"She was. She was so fucking beautiful, and kind, and loving, and talented. I miss her so fucking much." Ares leaned his head on the wall behind them, almost painfully. "But I'm trying to get sober again, for you. Because if I can't be good for myself, I'll be good for you."

August couldn't stop himself from leaning back into Ares. "That's beautiful. I'm glad you have the motivation to do so. How's it going?"

"I stopped using, and I'm not whoring myself out to the vast majority of America. Drinking's a bit harder to quit, but I'm there. I haven't drank since last week."

"We all have our bad days." August hummed. "I'm proud of you."

And if that made Ares fall harder for August, the younger man didn't realise and the older man ignored it.

"You don't have to tell me anything. I just want you to know all of this, because I trust you. And hopefully one day you'll trust me too. I know I don't seem like the greatest person, because I'm not, but I'll be here. I promised you I would. But for now, take your time. I'm here for the long run. I've never met anyone like you. I'd be a fucking fool to let you go, again."

"God, Ares, I really like this side of you."

I still like the side in the bedroom too.

"It's all for you, August."

"Shut up." He smiled, unsure on how to react. "If you're trying to get sober, shouldn't you stop smoking?"

"Oh fuck off, I can't be perfect." He laughed. "Besides, smoking is what we do here. And besides, how else would you be reminded of the cigarette burn."

"It doesn't remind me of that."

"Every time without fail, when I get one out, you touch your chest, where the first burn was. Then you touch the inside of your arm, where the other seven are."

"You seem to be very fascinated by me and my burn marks." August replied shyly, doing exactly what Ares described.

"See, you're doing it now." Ares laughed, pulling out a pack. "And how could I forget? That was the only time I found someone as insane as me who was into cigarettes during sex. How can I forget every time I made you come to the feeling of my dick in your ass and a cigarette on your skin?"

"Fuck, Ares, you need to stop talking about that."

Ares raised a brow, looking at the man beside him. Upon noticing what his words did to the younger man, he smirked.

"Sounds like we might have to break part of the new deal."

"Then so fucking be it."