𝘔𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 - 𝘌𝘭𝘮𝘢𝘹 ♡

Chapter 57 - Realizations ♡

quick AN: i'm doing a lil time skip to a couple weeks after the Christmas party just because i don't wanna write abt christmas anymore😭 but don't worry you'll find out what jane got max

Max's POV -

I sat on my bed, my lower half covered with a blanket as I went through the scrapbook that Jane had made me for the 1000th time. Each page had different photos with little notes and stickers, and it was the cutest thing ever.

A wide smile spread across my face as I once again turned to the page with the pictures of me and her on the cruise. There was one of me and her hugging tightly on the deck and one of me and her laughing at a table in the dining area. That cruise was memorable for so many things. I made so many memories there, even some very interesting ones, but I didn't want to acknowledge them as I went through such a wholesome scrapbook.

My smile faded slowly after I finished flipping through the book. I looked down at the floral cover and lightly brushed over the fabric with my thumb. I leaned over and placed the scrapbook on my nightstand gently.

The realization hit that it was getting very late, so I turned off my lamp and got cozy in bed. I stared up at my ceiling for a while, my mind flooding with thoughts. One of them was about how so many things had happened while Billy was gone.

"Hey Billy. I know it's late but I wanted to talk to you anyways. A lot has happened since I talked to you last. Me and Jane have gotten closer, she's the best. I wouldn't have been able to survive your death without her. You wouldn't believe it, she made me the cutest scrapbook ever! I can tell she put her whole heart into it, she's so fucking adorable. I seriously think she's my soulmate." I paused and the smile on my face from talking about Jane turned into a small frown, "I'm sorry you never found the right girl. You really deserved to have a girlfriend who treated you right. Your life got got cut short and it's not fair."

I stopped talking and felt tears begin to form, I suddenly craved my brother's presence more than I had in a long time, I was so desperate for just one stupid conversation just to hear his voice again. I had gotten to the point to where I had began to forget his voice, and it was terrifying. I didn't want to forget his voice. I didn't want to forget anything about him. My memories were all I had.

Before I knew it, tears were flowing down my cheeks and onto my pillow. The feeling of absolutely misery and sadness sat in as I began to think of things he was going to miss. He was going to miss my birthdays, my graduation, my college graduation, my first job, my wedding, everything. I would never be able to come to him when I needed advice or a movie night to take my mind off of things. He was gone forever and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

Silent sniffles and whimpers turned into hyperventilation as my tears blurred my vision. I sat up so that I could attempt to calm myself down, but nothing I tried worked. My breathing kept picking up speed and I couldn't stop it. I weakly turned on my lamp and panicked as I rushed to my door. I opened the door and walked out into the hallway to find my mom.

"M-mom!" I sobbed loudly in between quick breaths. I heard quick footsteps from inside her room and she opened her door with a very worried expression on her face.

"Max? What's wrong hon-"

I cut her off by hugging her very tightly. I cried into her shoulder as I struggled to breathe steadily. She rubbed my back and automatically knew what was going on.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.." She comforted me as she slightly rocked us back and forth, "Breathe Max, breathe okay? You're safe, I'm right here."

I sniffled and attempted to take a few deep breaths, a few of which didn't work well, but the others helped slow down my breathing a little.

After being in that position for a few minutes, my breathing was back to normal. But my mom never stopped rubbing my back and rocking us back and forth.

"I know it's hard. Trust me, I know. You're allowed to feel these emotions because it's a part of the process. Always make sure you come to me when you need me." She mumbled in a comforting tone. I nodded weakly with my head still laying against her shirt that was covered in tears.

"Do you want to sleep in bed with me tonight?" She asked gently. I lifted my head up, sniffled, and nodded once again. She smiled lightly and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as she placed a kiss on my forehead. "C'mon, I have a ton of blankets for you to snuggle up with." She grinned as she guided me into her room.

AN:

sorry no elmax this chapter but i rlly wanted to write this ☹️ i hope u guys liked it! (also sorry if i killed ur heart)

but anyways, i'm planning on having some angst happen between max and jane and i would absolutely love scenario ideas PLEASEEEEEE. i need help.

love u guys! 🫶🏻 byee💋