Medical Imagines

What's the point?

⚠️This imagine contains mention and description of self harm, mental, and emotional abuse and death. Please don't read if these things are a trigger. And if you or someone you know are suffering in anyway just know your not alone and I'm here to talk.⚠️

You were warned!!!

I woke to the sound of barking. My dogs upstairs are probably in the cages. God only knows how long they been in there. "Fucking christ can't any of you fucking kids do anything besides sitting around playing games and shit!" I hear my stepdad yell as he stomps around the house. "I'm fucking sick and tired of all these damn animals and you lazy ass kids not taking care of them!" He yells. I roll my eyes and grab my ear buds from under my pillow. I turn them on and connect them to my phone. The first song that plays on my Spotify list is 'Unsteady'.

In the midst of listening to music to block out the yelling I see the stairs leading to my room shake meaning someone is coming. I take one ear bud out as I watch the person come into my room. It's my mom. "I'm fucking sick and tired of this shit. The fucking house is a mess and you kids don't fucking clean it. I did not sign up to be a fucking maid!" She yells at me. I roll my eyes and put my headphone back in. She walks out the basement door to the car shortly followed by my stepdad. Once the door closes I pause my music and take my ear buds out. I listen as the car starts and drives off. I let out a sigh and stand up.

I head upstairs to the sight of my three younger siblings cleaning and my baby sister crying with food all over her face. "Jesus Christ." I say under my breath. "So what's the problem now?" I ask my 10 year old sister. "John couldn't find a clean coffee cup and started yelling cause the dogs won't shut up." She says. I nod not saying anything else as the baby comes toddling over. "Sissy." She says putting her arms up signaling she wants to be picked up. "What's wrong star?" I ask as I kiss her nose making her giggle. "Mamma." She says, I sigh. "Mama went to the store she'll be back." I say as I sit her on the couch grabbing the remote. "Shark Doo Doo!" She says excitedly. I smile with dull eyes. "Sure baby." I say putting on the baby shark movie on Netflix. "Niki?" My little brother says. "Yes bub?" I ask. He looks at me with tears in his little 5 year old eyes. "Does mom hate us?" He asks. I shake my head "No she loves us. She's just upset." I say trying to convince myself. Even though this is a constant occurrence.

I help the kids clean up the house and take the dogs out. "Niki?" My 8 year old sister asks. I look at her. "When is mom coming back this time?" She asks I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. Just hang in there. The house is clean and the dogs are taken care of I'll start lunch soon." I say she smiles and nods. "Go watch tv in the living until I'm done please." I say. She nods and does as she's told.

We finished eating lunch and I start washing dishes. "Sissy!!" Star says staring at me. I shake my head. "Not right now sissy's busy." I say. She starts to pout and I huff. "Can someone play with Star please!" I shout so the kids can hear me. They take her out of the kitchen as she screams and thrashes around.

Just as I was finishing the dishes I see my phone light up. I see it's my mom. I open the message and it reads 'The house better be fucking done when I get home.' It says. I bite my bottom lip. "Fuck it." I say and press the call button. Almost instantly she answers. "What." She says in a nasty tone. "What the hell is your problem? Just leave your 18 year old daughter with her younger siblings all because your husband starts his fucking shit again." I say to her on the phone. "Nikita I'm not doing this shit with you right now." She says. I laugh in frustration. "So you expect me to do this shit for you? You know that baby is crying for her fucking mother. Your children are gonna be fucked in the head when their older. And you can't deal with this shit right now? I'm forced to fucking deal with it." I say. "So what your calling me a bad fucking mother? I carried your asses for 9 fucking months and risked everything for you kids just for you to grow up and shit on my grave?" She says. I sigh "no one is calling you a bad mother, but I'm not calling you a good one either." I say. She hangs up instantly and messages me. 'Great now I'm fucking crying at work in front of my fucking boss. Find someone to live with I'm done with your shit. Star is just gonna stay with John, Damian is going with his father and your sisters are going to theirs. I'm done trying my hardest for you kids just to be shitted on I'm fucking done! I'm leaving and might as well kill myself.' she types then blocks me.

I scream and throw my phone. "That fucking bitch!" I shout. Tears fill my eyes. Yes this is almost a weekly thing but it still hurts ya know. I leave all the kids upstairs as I go into my room and lock the door. I turn the lights off and grab my bottle of pills that sit in my pillow case. "Why is this the only way to feel peace anymore?" I ask myself as I look at the 10 pills in my hand. I throw the pills in my mouth and swallow with the rest of my monster.

'This better fucking work.' I say in my head. Tears fall from my face as my hands shake.

I dry my tears. The effects of the pills make me feel light and fuzzy inside. They make me feel nothingness. A feeling I love.

I go upstairs and I give Star her bottle as the younger kids ask if I'm alright. I nod and just leave them to their Roblox.

When I make it back downstairs I realized I fucked up once the world started spinning like crazy. I sat on my bed and grabbed my phone. I saw that I got a message from my mom apologizing but that's not what's important right now. I open Snapchat as I feel myself slowly losing feeling in my limbs. I click on my best friend and firefighter buddie's contact. I type something along the lines of 'helo cvmw iner' and then my world turns black.

I wake to the sounds of beeping machines and my friend Mike sitting next to me. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?" He asks holding my hand. I sigh and look away. "Niki you almost died! What were you thinking? Please talk to me." He says with pleading eyes. "I had a turn out with my mom again..." I say with a dull look in my eyes. "Niki this whole thing with your parents. I'm really sorry, but you could've called me. I could've went over and helped you out. You didn't have to deal with that alone." He says holding my hand. "It doesn't matter now anyways. I'm just gonna be released from this place and sent to a mental hospital. My life is over." I say causing Mike to sigh. "I spoke with the doctor. And he agrees it would be best if you spent a week in the hospital and when you get out your coming to stay with me." He says. I stare at him. "Mike I'm 18 I can make my own decisions." I say. "I bet you can but as your best friend who had to do CPR on your ass to save you, I say it's safer to come stay with me." He says. I sigh.

A few weeks later and I'm released from hospital. Fucking a week my ass. "Niki the car is over here." Mike says as we walk to his jeep. "You know you don't have to do this. I can always take a cab home." I say. He stops in his tracks and stares at me. "Your not going back to that place. You need proper rest and you need a break. You can stay at mine until you make up your mind either you wanna move in or go back home. Either way I'm here for you." He says and opens the door for me. "Yay I get to be a passenger princess." As I roll my eyes. "Hey you don't have your license. And you make one cute princess." He says joking around. I roll my eyes. "Okay driver King. Can we stop at McDonald's on the way back though? I'm kinda hungry." I say. He laughs and nods. "Sure."