offshore | h.s

1

OCTOBER 2020
- GENEVIEVE CLARK

4:49 AM

The voice of my atwo-year-old wakes me from my dreamless sleep.

"Mumma?" I repeatedly hear as she walks closer to my bed.

Rubbing my eyes, I sit up and pull the orange checkered duvet cover over me, a headache pounding in the back of my head.

"What's wrong, Ave?" I yawn as she climbs into the soft, king-sized bed. I run my fingers through her wavy golden-brown hair, untangling it while she rests her head on mine.

Ever since this little girl was born, I don't think I've had a full night's sleep. It's been absolutely killing me and my mental health, but I would do it a thousand times again just to have her in my arms.

"I had a bad dream again." She sulks, and I see tears running down her tiny, freckle-covered face. My heart immediately breaks as I pull her in for a hug, holding her close to me.

"What was it about, Avery June?" I question and see her bright blue eyes looking into mine.

"So scary, Mumma." Is all she could muster up before bursting into tears.

"Avie, baby, it's okay. Shh," I repeat as she starts to calm down a little. Relief washes over me as her cries stop and she falls back asleep in my arms, and I go to put her back into her room when I hear a mumble coming from my bed.

"Fucking kid," Archie mutters.

"Excuse me?" I ask in disbelief.

"I'm sick of this fucking kid crying. I can't do this anymore." He bitterly replies. My heart immediately drops to my stomach, and fear consumes me. I can feel my heart beating as my stomach fills with dread, not sure where this conversation will go. Holding a sleeping Avery close to my chest, I try to stand up for her.

"She's our baby, Arch." I almost whisper, scared out of my mind for his reaction. Blood seeps out of the skin around my fingers where I have been picking. I ignore it, concentrating on my breathing as I feel a tear fall down my face. The air is tense as he gets out of bed, and I feel the anger in his movements as he walks closer.

Just breathe, Gen. He'll go back to sleep soon, you know what he's like.

"I don't want to do this anymore, Gen!" Archie yells at me as I try to block out his words."She's ruined my life. I've got a massive show tomorrow, and all I hear all night is this fucking kid crying and I'm sick of it!"

"Too loud, Dadda." I hear Avery's tiny voice whisper. Tears immediately streamed down my face, glistening against my cheeks.

"Now you've woken her up," I mutter as I walk out of my bedroom and take Avery into her room.

Anxiety fills my body as I quickly make my way into Avery's room. I'm not sure how tonight is going to end up, but it's my job to make sure my daughter is safe from whatever he's going to do.

"Why is Dadda yelling?" She questions, rubbing her eyes as I lay her down in her bed. Taking a deep breath in, I think of all the ways I could reply to this.

"I'm not sure, baby. It's not your fault though. Just stay in here for a little bit, and I'll come and check on you soon, okay?" I reply. She nods and I plant a kiss on each of her cheeks before closing her door and walking down the hallway and trying to compose myself as best as I can before entering my bedroom. Archie stands next to our bed, a stone-faced look plastered across his face.

"I'm leaving you." He finally spits out, and my heart feels like it's stopped.

"What?" I choke out between tears. There's no way this is happening. We have a life together. We're in love. We were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. "I love you, Arch. Please don't do this. We have a baby. We can't do this to her." I beg.