offshore | h.s

3

GENEVIEVE CLARK

1:12PM

"Mumma, my legs hurt," Avery whines as we walk through the airport, trying to find our gate.

"Come here, Avie," I say as I pick her up and hold her against my hip, dragging our suitcase behind us. As I'm only bringing what I took from mine and Archie's house, we aren't bringing very much with us. We find our gate and settle into one of the blue fabric chairs while we wait to board our flight from Sydney to LAX.

"Hey baby, I need to talk to you about something," I say as Avery's tiny body rests on my lap facing me. She looks up with a smile and I tap her nose, making her giggle. Today I dressed her in a light blue hoodie, and some white sweatpants, and tied her thin light brown hair into two mini buns.

"We're going to be on the plane for a long time, and Mumma's all by herself, so you have to promise to be a really good girl, okay?" I speak. We have over a day of travel lined up for us, and I'm not sure I'll be able to manage a fussy toddler by myself. Although she is just two and my words won't mean anything to her, I will make every effort to keep her from crying the entire flight.

"Okay, Mumma. Promise!" She responds while jumping off my lap, running up to a flight attendant that waved at her. We travel a lot, so Avery's gotten comfortable around airport staff. I nod in response as she runs up to the flight attendant who gives her a high-five.

After their quick conversation, she comes bounding back to me, running into my arms as I scoop her up into a hug. I've always dreamed of being a mother, and I'm so grateful that every day I get to make this little girl's life as full as possible. Even with the scary things happening right now, I still make sure she's having fun.

"What's this on your hand, Avie?" I ask as she holds out her hand to show me a sticker with the airline's logo on it.

"Gave me a sticker!" She exclaims, wiggling in my hold. "Plane is gonna be so fun,"

I'm nervous about the flight. We have one from Sydney to LAX, and then a layover in Detroit before flying into Providence. That's 33 hours of travel that I am not prepared for whatsoever. I booked these flights last night, just needing an escape from whatever happened with Archie.

I still haven't even had time to process it all. He said he didn't want a life with us anymore, just like that. To be strong for Avery, I'm making an effort not to reflect on what happened until we arrive at Amber's.

My heart swells as she whispers, "I love you, Mumma." I am reminded of how much I adore my daughter through the little things she says to me.

"I love you so much, baby," I whisper back, planting kisses on her head. Setting her back on my lap, I get a call from Amber.

"Her, Ambs," I answer.

"Gen! How are you feeling?" She replies. Avery hears who I'm talking to and her face lights up.

"Auntie Amby!" She exclaims. I pass her the phone to speak to Amber. "I'm going to your house today, did you know that? I miss you lots. Oh, and a plane lady gave me a sticker!"

"Yes, Ave. You'll have to show me the sticker when you get here," I hear her laugh through the speaker. "Can you give the phone back to Mummy? I have to talk to her about something."

With a pout on her face, Avery hands me back my phone and I hold it to my ear to hear. "Hey, I'm fucking exhausted," I say. Planning this whole trip last minute has been extremely stressful and tiring.

"Oh Evie," I hear her sigh. "I love you so much. It's gonna get better when you're here, I promise."

I smile at her words. When everything in my life has gone upside down, Amber is always here for me.