offshore | h.s

2

 HARRY STYLES

9:21 PM

"Harry, can you come here?" I hear Gemma's voice call me into the living room of her and Amber's beautiful home in Watch Hill, Rhode Island. The wooden chair creaks against the unsanded vintage floorboards as I push it into the kitchen island.

I moved in here a few months ago, wanting a break from the LA lifestyle, and so far it's been really peaceful.

As I walk through the dining room and open the sliding glass door protecting the living room, I find a solemn-looking Gemma on the white linen couch dressed in navy blue patterned pillows. Amber sits next to her, tucking her sun-bleached hair behind her ear as she wipes a tear off her face.

"What's happened?" I question, taking a seat on the armchair across from them. Theories of what could've made them so sad swarm my mind like honeybees searching for their queen. Has something happened to Mum? No, Gemma would be in distress. Not much makes Amber cry, so she must care about whatever it is. Then it hits me.

Something's happened to Gen.

Dread immediately consumes me. The emotion is wiped from my face as I nervously await a response. Amber sighs, looking to Gemma for approval before answering me.

"You know Archie, right?" She asks. I reply with a slow nod. I know it's selfish, but a part of me will always wish I could take his place.

These past three years feel like I'm grieving the loss of someone that never died. I still can't believe it. Everything was going perfectly, I thought we were in love. After two whole years. Two whole, perfect years and she wanted to end our relationship just like that? I've apologised for everything I possibly could, but she's never thought to reply.

I've cried about it. I've cried and cried and cried. I hoped that maybe one day I would get a call telling me that she was sorry too. But I never did.

But that doesn't mean I don't care about her. She still means the world to me. I just have to watch her life through pictures instead of living it with her. I still ask Gemma and Amber about her sometimes. They say she's doing well. I'm happy for her, I really am. Just that little part of me tinges with jealousy, wishing I could see her doing well. Wishing she could be the one telling me about her day, instead of seeing it on her Instagram stories.

"Gen just called me to say that," Amber begins, sniffling. "He's been struggling with alcohol addiction this past year. He's been getting drunk around her and Avery a lot. He never physically did anything to either of them, but she's started to feel unsafe around him. And that this morning, he left her because he didn't want to be a part of Avery's life."

Her words echo throughout my mind, and a sort of helplessness cascades through my body that I can't explain. I had no idea. Her life has been a living hell for a whole year, and I had no idea.

A single tear runs down my face, and Gemma stands up to pull me into a hug. Once again, the feeling of emptiness consumes me and almost brings me comfort. It's the only thing I'm used to, the only one I've allowed inside of me these past three years. Gemma is speaking to me now, but I'm not listening. There's a slight ringing in my ears as I feel my heartbeat start to quicken and my head pound. Suddenly I feel my throat start to close as I let out a sob.

At some point, Gemma's arm wraps around me and I hear her softly speaking, trying to calm me down. My breathing begins to slow, and I feel like I've used every last drop of energy in me.

"Is she okay?" Is all I can muster up without crying.

"She's coming to live with us for a bit," Amber blurts out, receiving a scold from Gemma.