Game Over: Life's Over

Poof

Hours passed and I was still sitting against the door. I felt like I couldn't move from where I was. My brain was running and yet standing still at the same time. I felt like I was thinking too much yet at the same time, I felt like I couldn't think of anything.

Why me? Why did it have to be me that had my life ripped away? Of all the people in the world, why was I being punished?

I was never a bad kid growing up. I stayed out of trouble. I never talked back to my teachers or got myself into unnecessary trouble. I wasn't sure why God thought I was one of the unlucky ones who deserved to live an unfair life.

There, of course, were upsides to the genetic condition. I wouldn't have any responsibilities beyond just hanging around the house and watching TV. I wouldn't have to get a job or go to college. I wouldn't have to earn my keep like most adults do after graduating high school. I wouldn't have to worry about any of that. But sometimes, that was the fun part about life. While we all had to figure out how to survive, it was up to us how we made that happen. I would have liked the chance to make a life for myself and see what kind of person I could become.

Instead, I was stuck regressing into an infant.

It was just so unfair.

"Jacob, will you let me in?" Mom called from the other side of the door.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. I really didn't want to talk to her. "Go away."

"Honey, I know you're upset. Will you please let me in so we can talk about this?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Then can I just come in and sit with you?"

I knew if I let her in, she would still try to hold a conversation with me. But I really needed my mom during a time like that.

I slid away from the door and moved to put my back against my bed. Mom must have heard me move because she came in and sat down beside me.

She had changed into her evening clothes. She wore an old college sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. Her hair was pulled back and clipped into a messy ponytail. I was glad I got mom and not Lydia. I really didn't need her to try and talk to me the same way she spoke to her clients. That wouldn't have helped at all.

She put her arm around me and pulled me into a side hug. "I know this is a big change for you. It's not something I was expecting either. I always had such... big expectations for you."

I tried to pull away from her but her grip was firm.

"I wasn't sure how you were going to end up when I found out I was pregnant with you. Single mothers don't always have their shit together enough to raise a child. It didn't help that you were my first, either. I really had no idea how to be a good mom. I still don't. When I'm sitting at the office working on an assignment and you're here by yourself, I feel like the worst mother in the world. I know that making money to support us is important but being there for you is something I've always wished I could have done better. You deserved it.

"You're a quiet kid but you're a good kid. You're smart. You have ambition and that's something that you're either born with or you're not. I expected you to want to be a doctor or an engineer or study science and create new medicines to treat illnesses. I know that it's hard to accept that you won't be able to explore those paths but this isn't a life sentence. Things are going to change but it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Please, don't let it get you so down." Mom was good at talking to people. She'd built a whole career out of getting people to listen to her and follow her judgment. While I didn't want to listen to her, I knew she was right.

"What's going to happen to me, mom?"

Her hand moved from my shoulder to my hair, her fingers moving through the strands in slow motion. "We have to go see a doctor who specializes in this. They were able to fit us in tomorrow for an appointment. We'll figure out where to go from there when we see the doctor."

"Am I just gonna poof into a baby in two weeks when I turn eighteen?" There was a bit of dark humor behind my words. A pit of worry formed in my stomach at the thought of it actually happening.

"From what I've heard, it doesn't happen that way. It won't be overnight."

I rubbed my hand over my nose. "So are we leaving after I get out of school tomorrow?"

"You're not going to school tomorrow. The doctor we're seeing is a few hours away."

"Oh. Do I just go back on Thursday then?" I felt so stupid. I had no idea what was going on.

"Everything I read online said you... won't go back."

"So I can't graduate?"

"If you weren't turning eighteen during this school year, I'd let you go back. But since we don't know what any symptoms are or what changes could happen, I don't want you going back. I'm hoping the doctor will tell us more so we can get a plan going."

I turned into her shoulder and groaned. "I hate this."

She moved her hand back down to my back. "I know, honey. I'm sorry. Do you want me to stay here with you for a while?"

I nodded.

She patted my leg. "Come on. Let's go sit in your bed. My butt's starting to hurt."

I got up onto my bed and kicked my shoes off. They fell to the floor at the foot end of the bed.

Mom sat down beside me in my small bed and covered us up with the blanket. She grabbed the TV remote from the bedside table and turned the TV on. She settled on a cheesy romance movie.

"You couldn't have found something better?"

"It won't kill you to watch one with me."

Sighing, I turned my head closer to her and squeezed my eyes shut, hoping sleep would take me before I was stuck watching too much of the horrible movie.