Game Over: Life's Over

My Favorite

Not having Mom around really set my mood back. I knew that wasn't the only reason I was feeling so down but it was certainly a big part of it. I was still getting used to being with Eric and Theo and wasn't as comfortable with them as I was with Mom. I had nothing against them but I still didn't know them very well. I knew that was going to take time when I signed up for them to be my caregivers but I still expected things to be a little easier. I was sure they maybe felt the same way.

I tried watching TV to get my mind off of Mom being gone but it wasn't helping. I couldn't find anything I wanted to watch. None of my comfort shows were helping me either. Eventually, I just turned the TV off and laid in the darkness.

It was getting late and I didn't want to bug Mom. Plus, she had just been with me for the entire weekend. I didn't want to bother her after she was just dealing with me for three days back to back. That wasn't fair to her. She needed a break, too.

I glanced at my phone and saw it was almost ten. I didn't have an actual bedtime but Theo and Eric made me be in my room by the time they headed to bed. I wasn't allowed downstairs while they were sleeping and the kitchen was definitely off limits. But it wasn't too bad. Those rules were easy to handle compared to every other rule I was given.

I was still in a weird headspace and had been ever since Mom left. I was losing my grip on myself and who I was and I felt like I was never going to get it back. I wasn't sure how to move forward and be 'normal'. Or, at the very least, I wasn't sure how to act like my new life was normal for me.

I didn't feel like being alone after everything I'd been going through. I only had two options and they were both in the same room together.

I put my phone on the bedside table and grabbed my pillow. I glanced at my pacifier that was sitting on the bedside table and briefly thought about grabbing it and taking it along but thought against it and left it behind. I left my room and headed across the hall to Theo and Eric's room.

I knocked on the door before I pushed it open and stuck my head inside. Theo was sitting on the bed but Eric wasn't in the room. I could hear the shower going in their shared bathroom.

"Hey, Jake. Are you doing okay?"

I hugged my pillow to my chest. "Can I stay in here for a while? I don't really want to be alone right now."

"Yeah, of course. You know you don't have to ask."

I shut the door behind me and walked over to the bed. I sat at the foot end as I wasn't comfortable just making myself at home just yet.

"Your mom said she was glad she came to see you. I know she misses you when she can't be here."

I nodded. I felt the same.

Theo scooted back against the pillows and grabbed mine. He put it beside him and patted it.

I crawled up the bed and leaned back against the pillows.

"I know you're going through a rough time right now. Everything you're going through has to be tough on you and it's going to be a challenge you have to get through in order to feel better and be happy again. You're a strong kid. I know you'll pull through."

"It doesn't feel that way. I'm having a hard time thinking it'll get better."

"Bad times don't last forever."

"It's just one bad thing after another. Just when I think I'm gonna be okay and I can live with whatever it is that's happened, something worse happens and I'm right back at square one."

"What makes you think losing some teeth is the end of the world? Plenty of people lose their teeth all the time and still go on to live their lives without having to make any changes."