Game Over: Life's Over

Friend

Since I'd taken a nap that day, Theo didn't push for me to go to bed early. After I got my shower and got ready for bed, he told me I could stay up as long as I wanted to.

I sat on my bed with my legs crossed under me. My Switch was in my lap. Ever since I'd gotten it, I couldn't stop playing it. I loved it.

I reached over to my bedside table for my binky. It was still tied to the clip that attached it to my clothes. Maybe I needed to start using it that way more often.

As I grabbed my binky, my hand bumped my phone. The screen lit up and I saw a text message on the screen that I didn't know I had.

I looked at the screen as I picked it up. The message was from Soleil. All it said was are you there?

My heart rate increased as I read her message over a few times. She finally wanted to talk. I knew it would take her some time to come around and reach out but I wasn't expecting it to happen when it did.

I set my Switch beside me and put my attention on my phone. I wanted to send her back a message about how I missed her but I didn't want to chase her away.

I sent back: 'Yeah, I'm here.'

The chat bubbles popped up as she typed her answer. They bounced for several seconds before they went away altogether.

I frowned. I wanted more than just one message from her. I wanted a whole conversation. Honestly, I wanted to see her.

But I knew I had to be cautious and take my time with her. I didn't handle my changes well so I couldn't imagine her just acting like everything was fine. Will, maybe, but not Soleil.

I set my phone down and swapped it for my Switch. I went back to playing my game, my eyes constantly darting to my phone to see if she messaged me back.

I'd made it halfway through the track I was on when she responded again.

I'm sorry I've been MIA

I paused my game and sent back: 'It's okay. I've done that plenty of times.'

Her response back was quick. Carrie said you were asking about me.

'Yeah, I wanted to know that you were okay.'

Thanks. I wish I could tell you what's going on.

'You can. I'll listen.' I figured that would be a good place to start. The more comfortable she was with me, the more she would tell me. All in due time.

Okay.

I stared down at our messages as I tried to think of something to say. I didn't want the conversation to end but I was afraid of prying. I didn't want to hurt her feelings accidentally.

'That's what friends are for.'

We're just friends?

Her response took me aback. Did she think we were more than friends? Did she want us to be more than friends?

I must have taken too long to respond. She sent back another message before I could respond. I thought we were best friends.

I took a deep breath and grew some balls as I responded to her messages. 'I thought it was more than that.'

I stewed over my message, afraid that I'd said the wrong thing. I liked Soleil but I wasn't sure if we were ready for something more serious. Both of us had a lot going on in our lives so maybe it wasn't the best time. But when would be?

Chat bubbles popped up on the screen as she typed her response. I waited several minutes before she responded. All she said was: I'll text you later.

Was I coming on too strong? Did Soleil not really like me the same way that I liked her? I knew that rejection was a possibility but having it happen really sucked.

I groaned and got out of bed. Carrying my phone with me, I walked to Eric and Theo's room. I didn't even knock as I pushed the door open and stepped inside.

I collapsed face-first onto their bed with a groan, letting my phone bounce onto the bed beside my head.

Eric laughed. He was standing in the doorway to the bathroom, his toothbrush in his mouth.

Theo gave him a look before turning his attention to me. "Jake, what's wrong?"

"I told Soleil and she doesn't feel the same way and now I've ruined everything," I groaned into the blankets below me.

Theo grabbed my phone and read through the messages. "It doesn't sound like she told you no. Maybe she just needs time to think about it."

"That's even worse."

"I think you're being a little dramatic."

I turned my head in Theo's direction and narrowed my eyes at him. "Wasn't it your idea to tell her I liked her in the first place?"

Theo crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "I didn't know she would react like this. We were under the impression that she liked you as much as you liked her."

"This is all your fault." I groaned again and let my face fall into the blanket. I should have just stayed in my room to wallow in my self-pity.

Eric walked over and sat down on the bed. "Maybe you should try to call her. People always sound differently over the phone than they do when they're texting."

"I don't think she wants to talk. She would've called me if she wanted to talk."

"That doesn't mean you can't call her first. Girls like when guys make the first move."

Theo nodded.

"What do I say to her?"

"You can try to call her but if not, maybe just say that you'd love to talk if she wants."

"Or when she's ready," Theo added.

"Okay." I sat up and grabbed my phone. I got to my feet and headed for the door.

"Let us know what she says," Theo said, enthusiastically.

I rolled my eyes and headed back to my room. I shut the door and sat down on my bed once again. I opened up the messages with Soleil and typed 'I know you're going through a lot right now. If you want to talk about it, I'll listen. I've been through stuff, too, and it helps to talk it out.'

My phone dropped onto the bed beside me and I collapsed onto my back. I stared at the ceiling as I waited for a response that I wasn't sure I would get. If she was really in a bad place, talking to me wouldn't be the answer. At least, it wouldn't be the long-term answer.

I just wanted to help her so she wouldn't be so upset anymore. I wanted her to be happy again.

Her message came in after a few minutes. I wasn't expecting a response so it surprised me that she would message me back at all.

You're a really good friend.

Friend? Friend???

I grabbed my pillow and tried to suffocate myself with it, humiliated and hopeless. How was I supposed to fix things now?