Game Over: Life's Over

Take Care

It had been a few weeks since my last appointment with Dr. Simmons and I was starting to feel like things were looking up. I was making friends and getting out of the house more. I was still working on graduating and getting my diploma. I had a lot to look forward to. But there was one thing bothering me, one issue that lingered and that wouldn't go away.

After my shower one night, I noticed that I was getting smaller again. I was almost small enough to not be noticeable upon first glance. What if I couldn't do anything anymore? I wasn't sure if I wanted kids but I didn't like that the decision was being made for me.

It wasn't fair.

Theo and I sat in the waiting room and I was nervous. I wasn't sure what Dr. Simmons was going to tell us and I wasn't sure I was up for any bad news.

"Jacob?"

I took a deep breath before I got up and walked toward the physician's assistant who was waiting for me. It was a woman this time. She had pink scrubs on and blonde hair tied back into a ponytail.

"Follow me. We're going to get your height and weight first."

I was anxious about seeing my weight and height. At my last appointment, I had dropped both a few pounds as well as went down a few inches. I wasn't sure what it meant if either happened again but it didn't leave me feeling too great.

We walked into a small room with only a scale and a stadiometer. I stepped onto the scale and held my breath as the numbers moved. They stopped at 135.6. I couldn't remember what the number was the last time but I knew I had lost some weight again.

I walked over to the stadiometer and stood up straight so the nurse could get an accurate number.

"Four-foot-nine."

I knew my height had definitely dropped since the last visit with Dr. Simmons. It felt like my body was just rushing to shrink and make me a baby. What change was next?

"Dr. Simmons will meet with you in the room across the hall." The nurse stepped into the hallway and gestured for us to go into the office directly across from the small one we were in. Once we were inside, she shut the door and walked away.

I sat on the table in the middle of the room. It had white paper on it that crinkled as I sat down.

Theo was scrolling on his phone so he didn't seem to notice how nervous I was.

Dr. Simmons walked into the room holding her laptop. She sat down on the stool at the counter and wheeled it over so she was closer to both me and Theo.

"How are you doing, Jacob?"

"I'm okay."

She nodded. "Has anything come up since our last visit? Anything concerning?"

I looked between her and Theo. I was still very uncomfortable talking about things that were wrong with me. Even though I knew I was dealing with stuff, I still hated talking about it. Talking made it real.

"Do you mind if we talk in private?" Dr. Simmons asked Theo.

He nodded. "That's fine. I'll go wait out in the waiting room."

Dr. Simmons turned in my direction so we were face-to-face. "Your height and weight have gone down a bit since we last met. Have you noticed anything different or had any limitations as a result of this?"

"Not a whole lot. I don't feel like I'm active enough to be losing weight. I'm not really doing that much."

"Have there been any changes recently? Anything you're doing differently?"

"I've started going to the park more. And I had a friend invite me to the community center for their playgroup. We've gone there twice so far."

She smiled and began typing. "That's good to hear. I'm glad you're getting out more."

I nodded.

"Anything else you can think of that might have sparked any changes?"

I sighed. "I'm getting smaller again. Like... down there. I'm worried I won't be able to... do stuff."

She wheeled over to the counter and set her laptop down. "Do you mind if I take a look?"

I did mind but I knew it was her job to check things out. She was the only one who could give me any answers.

"No."

"Go ahead and lay back for me." She put on a pair of blue gloves and then walked over to me. She pulled my shorts down before opening my diaper. "Has this been a gradual change or did you notice it one day at random?"

"I just noticed one day. It was the same way it happened the last time. I don't, like, look often or anything so I'm not sure if it happens gradually."

She nodded. "Are you still able to get it erect?"

My cheeks reddened. I knew she was my doctor but it was still so uncomfortable to talk about. "Um... I don't know. I haven't... tried."

"Is there any sensation there? Do you feel anything more than when you are urinating?"

"Sometimes? It's not often or anything."

She taped my diaper back up and then pulled her gloves off. She tossed them into the trash can and then helped me sit up. "I'm going to be frank with you. It's not likely that you'll be able to ejaculate considering your size. Now, if you can still get erect, that might change things. But I'm not certain you'll be able to have sexual intercourse because of this."

That was the last thing I wanted to hear.

"Is there any way we can reverse it?"

She frowned. "I'm afraid not. Your condition is still so new that we don't have any answers or solutions yet. We're still working on maintaining what we can and getting you what you need going forward."

I felt so defeated. Anything normal adults looked forward to in their lives was being taken from me. I couldn't work, I couldn't go to school, I couldn't have sex. It felt like more of a punishment than anything.

"I know this is hard on you, Jacob. I wish I had some answers for you that can help you through this."

I nodded. Yeah, I did, too.

"Do you mind if I go get Theo? There's something I'd like to talk about with both of you together."

I shook my head.

She pushed the stool back under the counter with her foot and then walked out of the room. She left the door open as she walked down the hall toward the waiting room.

I moved back on the bed I was sitting on so I wasn't sitting on the edge and pulled my shirt down over my shorts as best I could. Even with clothes on, I still felt exposed.

Dr. Simmons walked back into the room with Theo following behind. She closed the door and stood rather than sitting this time.

"Jacob, your condition is progressing more than you were probably expecting. This doesn't mean that it will continue on this course going forward but it is something I think we should keep in mind and keep an eye on. I've noticed some changes since the last time you came. I'd like to see you again in two weeks. I think keeping note of what is changing will help us know how to move forward. I'd also like you to get Jacob a booster seat to use in your vehicles. Due to his height, I think it would make riding in a car safer for him."

I was already dealing with bad news and then she wanted to give me more? When was I going to catch a break?

"Okay. We'll get one for him," Theo said.

"You're all good to go. My receptionist will get you scheduled for the next appointment. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to call."

Theo nodded. "Of course. Thank you for your help."

"Take care."