Game Over: Life's Over

I Don't Like Sharing

Will ran ahead of me as he headed for the steps of the soft jungle gym in front of us. The ceilings of the jungle gym were high but Will still had to duck his head. I had no problem running through at my normal height.

Will dropped to his knees and practically threw himself down the slide on his stomach. When he hit the bottom, he laughed and rolled onto his back. He looked up at me, waiting for me to follow him down the slide.

I sat down on my butt and slid down the slide. My feet went right into Will's side and it caused him to roll a few times away from me. He started laughing even harder, putting a hand on his stomach.

Soleil ran up to the slide and slid down on her stomach, arms stretched out in front of her. She slid right down into me and ended up pushing me. I rolled into Will and the three of us were nearly tangled up in one another.

Will was still laughing and started laughing harder. Soleil followed suit and it didn't take much for me to join in.

I pushed myself into a sitting position and stuck my binky in my sweatshirt pocket. It was supposed to be hot out but that morning, it was cold when we left the house. I liked wearing sweatshirts so I put one on over the T-shirt I picked out when getting dressed.

Soleil got to her feet and started toward the steps for the jungle gym. "Come on!"

Will got to his feet and waited for me to stand before he took off after Soleil. We went down the slide a few more times before Soleil was out of breath. She laid down on the mat floors longer than she previously had and looked over at me.

"I'm tired."

"Maybe you should take a break." I thought we all could use a break. I was winded and needed a few minutes to catch my breath.

"Maybe I need a nap."

I raised my eyebrows. "You take naps?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, when I need them."

"Does Carrie make you take them?"

She scoffed. "Carrie's really laid back. She doesn't care what I do as long as I don't get into trouble."

"Do you think she likes being a caregiver?"

"Maybe for the money. People can be like that sometimes. But she's nice to me and she lets me do what I want. She doesn't really have to take care of me more than feeding me so it isn't a hard job for her."

"Do you think she'd do that stuff if she had to?"

"I don't know. I hope she would. But I'm also hoping it never has to get to that point." I remembered when I felt that way. Even before I turned eighteen, I was hoping I'd never need Theo and Eric to take on a more parenting role. I wanted them to be more like roommates than parents. But life had other plans for me.

Will was sitting up and had been quiet up until then. He looked over toward a woman I hadn't noticed until that point. She was a bigger woman wearing a red dress. She had black hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. She looked like she was knitting or something. "I felt that way, too, but then I started needing help with stuff. Emily doesn't even complain when I need help with stupid stuff. She just does it cause she has to."

"You're lucky to have her," Soleil said.

He nodded. "Can we go play? I'm getting kind of bored just sitting here."

"Yeah, okay. But don't be surprised if I start yawning."

I smiled and stood. I headed for the tunnel and got down on my hands and knees so I could crawl through. Will and Soleil followed as I crawled through and came out the other side.

I turned around and watched them come out behind me.

Will was the first to stand. He took off onto the jungle gym and looked down at us over the steps to get up to the top section. "Come on, guys."

Soleil yawned before she stood up and started ascending the steps. She got to where Will was and waved for me to join them.

I climbed up and looked between the two of them. "Where are we going now?"

"The slide?" Will suggested.

Soleil nodded. "That sounds good to me."

"Okay, you go first."

Soleil launched herself down the slide. She went down on her butt and quickly turned around to watch us come down.

I followed after her and went down the same way. I crashed into her on accident and before I could untangle myself from her, Will was right behind me. He hit me with enough force to make me tackle Soleil to the ground.

She screamed and then started laughing, thankfully. She rolled onto her back as she continued laughing.

I rolled off of her and joined in on the laughing. I could feel the area between my legs get warm and realized my diaper was filling up.

I hated how using the diaper made me feel mentally. I hated that I was so worried about everyone noticing that I used them. I wished it didn't bother me.

Soleil yawned and rubbed her eyes. "I think I need a nap now."

Will sat up. "I should probably go too. We've been here a while."

I frowned. I was sad to see them go. I liked spending time with them and I looked forward to seeing them each week. Thankfully, there was still one more day that I could see them this week.

Soleil patted my leg before she stood up. "Bye, Jake."

I waved at her. "Bye."

Will stood up and held his hand out for me. He helped me to my feet. "See you Thursday." He pulled a pacifier from his pocket and stuck it in his mouth.

I watched him walk over to his caregiver and started making my way toward Theo. I reached into my sweatshirt pocket and felt around for my binky.

I frowned as I came up empty. Did I lose it while I was playing?

I glanced around me but didn't see it. I walked over to the tunnel and looked in to see if it was there.

Nope.

Sighing, I walked over to Theo.

"All done? You can stay longer if you want."

I shook my head. "That's okay. I'm ready, but I lost my binky. I don't know what happened to it."

"Did you drop it somewhere?"

"Maybe? It was in my pocket when we got here."

"Do you want to go look for it? I can help." Before I even had a chance to start looking, a boy who appeared a few years older than me passed by us and I noticed my binky in his mouth.

I turned back to Theo with my nose scrunched up. "Yuck."

Theo laughed. "I'll get you a new one when we get home."

"Do you have any like clips or anything I can attach to it so I don't lose it?"

"I think we have some clips. I'll look when we get home."

"Good. There are some things I don't like sharing."