Game Over: Life's Over

A Definite No

"Thank you both for coming. It was nice meeting you. We'll be in touch, either way." Mom was cheerful and upbeat as she said goodbye to Theo and Eric. She watched them get into their car from the front door and shut it as they pulled away from the curb.

I was still in the same spot, the same chair, as I had been when they were here talking with us. I was still processing what had been said and what could happen once I turned eighteen. I only had a few short weeks before then and I was dreading it more and more as the days passed.

"What do you think? Do you like them?" Mom walked into the living room and sat down on the couch across from me.

I shrugged. "I didn't hate them."

"Well, that's a good sign."

"I guess."

"I know this is hard on you, honey. But I appreciate you meeting with them. I want you to like whoever we go with rather than me picking someone you might hate or not get along with."

"I'd rather it be you," I mumbled quietly. If I had my choice, I would stay in my own home, with my own mother, and my life wouldn't have to change so much.

I could at least pretend things were still normal.

She got up and walked over to me. She sat on the arm of the chair to my left and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "I know, sweetie. If my job wasn't so demanding of my time, I would consider it. But that can't happen right now so we have to go with the next best option. If you don't want to go with Theo and Eric, we can see if there's another caregiver that Dr. Simmons can recommend."

I wiped away a tear from my cheek. "What's the next step?"

"With Eric and Theo?"

I nodded.

"If I remember correctly, we would do a home visit to see how their setup is and get to know them a little better. Today was just about meeting one another for the first time. A first impression, if you will."

"They live all the way in Carson City. That's too far away. I don't want someone that far away." In reality, I just didn't like the thought of being so far away from Mom. She would never be able to visit if I were that far away from her.

"Do you want me to tell Dr. Simmons that we want to look for someone else?"

I nodded. At least I could deflect my feelings and have a bit of time before meeting someone else. I didn't want to spend my last few weeks of normalcy meeting people and seeing the doctor nonstop. I needed a break before things went downhill.

"Alright, honey." She leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "Go take a break for a while. I'm going to get started on dinner."

—

Eric was right when he said there were a lot of caregivers interested in working with someone like me. Mom talked with Dr. Simmons about meeting other caregivers and had meetings set up for the rest of the week. It was like one left and another one was going to follow. It made my head hurt just thinking of it.

The next couple was a male and a female. The male was tall and thin and seemed eager to have someone like me in his home. The woman was a little shorter but heavier and had her hair pulled back into a low bun. She wore a T-shirt and jeans but brought cookies for us. It was a lot more generous than I was expecting.

"It's so nice to meet you, Jacob. Thank you for having us. We really hope this can work out." The woman, Eileen, said.

I glanced at Mom before I shook her hand and accepted the container of cookies. "Thanks for the cookies."

She nodded and sat down beside her husband on the couch. "I'm sure you're meeting lots of potential caregivers and we sort of..."

"We wanted to put our best foot forward." The husband finished his wife's sentence.

"That's awfully nice of you. But... we're going based off of who would be the best fit. I'm sure you understand."

Eileen nodded. "Of course. We've just been waiting a while. We're glad Dr. Simmons reached out to us and that you considered us."

"How long have you been looking for... someone like me?" I asked.

Eileen looked at her husband before she answered. "I'd say ten years. We've gotten close but we've never made things official."

I couldn't imagine looking for someone to take care of and being shut down time after time. It had to hurt.

"I'm sorry things haven't worked out yet. Could you tell us a little about yourselves? Do you work?" Mom asked, changing the subject.

"Both my husband and I work right now. Terrance is in computer security and I work in a bakery with my friend. If Jacob were to come stay with us, I would quit my job so I could tend to him and his needs."

"You would be able to do that?"

Eileen nodded. "There are certain. . . benefits to taking in someone with Jacob's condition."

I made a mental note to look into that later. I didn't like that taking me in was a kickback. I wanted someone who wanted me, not someone who liked the thought of money.

"Are you able to keep up with the demands of taking care of Jacob?" Mom seemed to be getting the same bad vibes from this couple that I was.

"Of course, ma'am. We have all the necessary safety precautions in place and turned our guest bedroom into a room for Jacob. We have a crib and plenty of toys for him."

My eyes widened. "A crib? You're joking, right?"

"Well... no. We need to make sure you won't get up in the middle of the night and hurt yourself. Kids in your situation are more susceptible to injury. Having limited intelligence can cause you to make bad decisions." Terrance said matter-of-factly.

Limited intelligence? Who did they think I was? Did they even know anything about someone with my condition?

Mom rubbed her hands together and got to her feet. "We'll get back to you with our decision. We have several meetings with potential caregiving candidates coming up but we will let you know in the next few weeks."

Eileen smiled as if she hadn't said anything wrong. She got to her feet and shook Mom's hand again. "Thank you for seeing us. We hope you enjoy the cookies."

I watched as Mom walked them to the door and sighed in relief once the door was shut. "That's a definite no."