Game Over: Life's Over

You Could Get Diaper Rash

Hey everyone! I'm sorry if you had to wait a little longer than usual for a new chapter. I was working on my other stories to get some chapters written for them and had to put this story aside. I'm working on new chapters for this story so I won't have to go away again for a while. Thank you all for your patience. Let me know what you think of this chapter!

---

Will was fun to be around. He didn't take things seriously. He went down the slides, climbed on the jungle gym, and crawled through the tunnel with ease. He didn't seem to care that he was a 24-year-old acting like a child.

Being around him made it easier for me to just... let go. I still wasn't convinced that I was going to love my life with all the challenges I was bound to face. But it made me feel a little better about it all.

Maybe being thrown into the mix was easier than sitting back and watching it all happen.

Soleil was the first to leave. Carrie gave her a five-minute warning before standing from where she was sitting and gathering up all of their stuff. Soleil respected Carrie enough to not argue or complain. She just didn't seem too happy to leave.

"Are you coming on Thursday?" She asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Consider it. I mean, it'll give you something to do."

Was I really that boring?

She waved to both Will and me. "Bye, guys."

I waved back to her and watched her walk to Carrie. She slipped her shoes on and the two of them left.

Will leaned back against the railing behind him as a girl ran past us to get to the slides. "How long are you staying today?"

I shrugged. "Probably as long as I want to be here. My caregiver likes that I want to get out and do things."

"That's cool. You deserve to be able to live your life, too." I wasn't totally convinced that this was what I was doing. Attending a playgroup with a bunch of messed up adults wasn't something I looked forward to doing. It wasn't how I saw my life going, that was for sure.

"Yeah."

"What? Is this not the fairytale you were hoping for?"

"Not really."

Will laughed. "I certainly wasn't hoping for this when I was getting tested. But getting to play with Soleil every week and just watch TV at home isn't too bad. It could definitely be worse."

I sighed. "How do you not dwell on what could've been?"

"Focus on what you're able to do. I'm glad I can still walk, talk, and think like a regular adult. Sometimes, I regress and act differently but it's just a different part of who I am. I'm still me, deep down."

Our condition seemed like a death sentence - a slow one. Having to think about the positives while our bodies and minds deteriorated was harder than it sounded. I wasn't sure I was able to think positively.

"If you cry about what's going wrong in your life, you'll never be able to focus on the good. As long as you have friends and family that love and care about you, it can't be so bad."

Will seemed like a good kid. Or adult. Or whatever we were. He had a good head on his shoulders and didn't seem like he argued much. I liked how positive he was but I wasn't sure I could ever mirror that.

"You should seriously think about coming back. I know it's a bit much at first but it's not so bad. It's something to do. I like being active so anything that gets me out of the house isn't so bad."

I nodded. "I'll think about it."

He looked at the slides and then back at me. "Come on. Let's go play."

I sighed but followed him. There was no sense just standing around when there was plenty for us to play with. So I had to force myself to follow him and play like all the other people were doing.

—

Will was finally leaving so I knew it was a good chance for me to leave too. I was tired from chasing him around all morning. It had been months since I played football or even practiced. Was I already that out of shape?

I sat down beside Theo and slipped my shoes on. As I lifted my right leg to put my shoe on, I felt something squishy under me. My first instinct was to get up and look to see what it was but as quickly as I thought it, I told myself that it wasn't something I sat on.

"Oh no," I mumbled under my breath.

"What?" Theo was more observant than I wanted him to be. It was necessary considering he was a caregiver to someone whose mood and thoughts could be unpredictable from day to day but I hated that he always knew something was up.

I glanced around us, hoping no one was watching. "I need changed."

"That's why I brought the diaper bag with us. Let's go find a bathroom."

I groaned. "Do we have to do it here?"

"Jake, it's not a big deal. They have bathrooms here that we can use. No one will even know."

"That's easy for you to say."

He shook his head and stood up. He grabbed the backpack and tossed it over a shoulder. "I promise you it's not as big a deal as you're making it out to be."

But it was a big deal. I hated every part of it. I never wanted to use diapers in the first place. I hated that I couldn't control my bladder anymore and had to rely on them. I knew it was something I had to do regardless of how I felt because it was easier than constantly having to wash my bedding and clean my clothes every time I had an accident. But I hated that it became a public thing. I didn't like thinking that others knew or could tell I used diapers. It was embarrassing as hell. And Theo could say it wasn't all he wanted but he wasn't the one who had to use them.

"Can we wait until we get home?"

"You could get diaper rash if we don't get you changed now."

I groaned. "Fine."

Theo scanned the room and started heading in the opposite direction from the entrance to the large playroom. It was definitely going to be obvious, if not more so.

I hated having my stupid condition and nothing Will said was ever going to make me feel any differently.