Game Over: Life's Over

Cranky

I felt a lot better with Mom around. I was glad our relationship was changing as we spent more time together. I really needed her. I was glad to have her as I knew some people didn't have their parents to help them through rough times.

I knew it probably drove Mom nuts that we stayed in whenever she came over. I knew she wanted to go out and do things with me. She probably wanted to take advantage of being so close to the city. But it didn't make me eager to go out when I felt like everyone would be staring at me for looking like a kid when I wasn't. Neither did using a booster seat in the car.

After we had dinner with Eric and Theo, I went to my room to play video games for a while. Mom wanted to talk to Eric and Theo and get caught up on how my appointments were going. I knew it was mainly to have adult talk so I didn't bother asking to be included.

I opened up one of the streaming apps I had downloaded on my PlayStation and scrolled through the different TV shows. I hadn't caught up on much TV since I moved in with Eric and Theo. I knew I was missing a lot by not keeping up with various shows but I was okay with that. I was going to have plenty of time since I wasn't going to work or go to college.

A show popped up about dogs who fought crime in a fictional city. It wasn't normally something I would ever watch but something about it seemed appealing. I put on the first episode and leaned back against my bed.

It was hard for me to adjust to all the changes that were being thrown at me. The changes that were being forced on me, really. Dr. Simmons wanted me to try out new things to help with my depression and anxiety. Eric and Theo wanted me to make friends and get out with other people like me. Mom wanted me to find things to do so I wasn't bored and left alone with my thoughts. None of their suggestions were so terrible but they were all big changes I had to make to my life that I wasn't sure I could make. I knew I needed to let them make the decisions and just go along with it all but it was hard for me to do when it was my life. I was stuck with it all in the end and that was the part I wasn't sure they understood.

I wanted to be happy. I wanted to have friends and a life and not feel trapped by the mutation. I wanted to adjust but it wasn't a quick adjustment that happened overnight. I wasn't going to feel differently about all of the things being forced on me just with the snap of a finger. It was going to be a process.

I just needed time.

Mom stepped into the doorway and glanced at the TV before she looked my way. "What are you watching?"

I shrugged. "It's called Paw Patrol. I thought I'd try it out to see if I like it."

She nodded and smiled at me. "Do you?"

"It's not too bad."

"Theo helped me get set up on the couch for the evening. Are you okay if I sleep downstairs?"

"You should sleep up here. I can take the couch."

She shook her head. "No, it's better if you stay up here. We don't want something to happen to you if you're down there by yourself."

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, nothing would happen."

"We just don't want to take that chance. It's easier for you to be up here. Don't worry about me."

I sighed. "Fine."

"I'm going to go get a shower and get ready for bed. You should get ready, too."

"I can stay up late. It's only Sunday. And it's not like I have anywhere to go anyway."

"You still shouldn't stay up too late. You'll be cranky."

"Whatever."

"Eric and Theo are still downstairs if you need anything. I'll come check on you before I head downstairs."

I unpaused the show and continued watching another two episodes before I fell asleep. Luckily the floor was carpeted so it was a little comfortable for me to lay on.

Mom saw that I was already asleep and went to get Eric and Theo. They helped get me into my bed and changed me so I had a clean, dry diaper to sleep in. Mom tucked me in before she headed back downstairs to go to bed herself.