Game Over: Life's Over

Promise

Carson City was bigger than my hometown. There were different suburbs and smaller cities surrounding it, like Redview where Eric and Theo lived. Where I lived.

It was hard for me to believe I was living somewhere else than at my childhood home with Mom. I never planned to make such a drastic move so early in my life. Alex and I had talked about moving out and into our own place but not far enough away from both our families. I never wanted to be so far away that I grew distant from Mom. We already had a hard time with that while living together.

I didn't like the thought of living away from her. From the start of my diagnosis and as we looked for a caregiver, I knew I wanted someone who lived close. I would have picked Eric and Theo sooner had they lived closer. I only went with them in the end because everyone else lived too far away or there weren't good options. I mean... I had to pick someone.

Hopefully, everything would work out.

As we stopped at a stoplight, Mom lifted her phone from where it sat in the cup holder. She typed something in then handed it over to me. "Can you help me get here? We can start at the mall and go from there."

"This mall is huge, Mom." I knew Mom had money. Being a lawyer wasn't a low-paying job but that didn't mean I felt comfortable spending all of her money. It wasn't like I needed anything. Plus, I knew Eric and Theo were getting money to care for me so they could buy anything I needed.

She nodded. "It is. I don't know if all the stores you like to shop at are there but we can see what's in the area and shop around."

"Mom, you don't have to do that."

"You only turn eighteen once in your life. I want you to enjoy it." She took a deep breath and I knew the conversation was about to turn. "I know this isn't how you expected things to be today or... ever but I want you to have a good day today."

I wanted to enjoy my birthday. Since I didn't turn into a baby overnight, I had the whole day to just be myself and enjoy turning eighteen. But there was a weight on me, a constant reminder of what was to come eventually.

The mall we went to was bigger than any I'd ever been to. The road leading up to the mall winded up a big hill. From the outside, I could only see a few big box chain stores that took up large sections. The sign showed the basic stores that every mall had like American Eagle and JCPenney. Some candle and appliance stores were listed and I hoped Mom wouldn't want to go to them. Nothing was more nauseating than smelling a bunch of candles one after another.

Mom parked near one of the entrances and stuck her phone into her purse. "If you can't find what you want here, we can see what else is in the city and go to those places, too."

"I don't even know what I'm looking for."

Mom shrugged. "Clothes, video games, whatever you want to decorate your room. It's all up to you."

I glanced at the large building. I didn't even know where to start. Shopping was harder when you didn't know what you wanted or needed.

It also didn't help that I never liked going shopping.

"Come on. Let's go see what stores are inside."

Mom was excited to spend time with me and go shopping. I didn't want to ruin her fun so I tried my best to cooperate with her as I followed her inside.

The mall felt bigger as we walked through the set of doors. Along the hall in front of us were clothing stores lined up one after another. Mannequins stood in the windows of the stores, showing off the clothes that were sold inside. I could smell cinnamon rolls, soft pretzels, and popcorn though I couldn't tell which direction it was coming from.

The more I thought about it, the more I really wanted a soft pretzel. It smelled so good.

"Can we get a pretzel first?"

Mom laughed. "We just had breakfast. You're already hungry?"

I nodded. "Yeah, they smell good."

She shook her head. "Alright."

Mom didn't want a pretzel but she let me get one since it was my birthday. We sat down at a small table and I began to pick apart the cinnamon sugar pretzel I got.

"I talked with Eric and Theo about your living arrangements. Since our house isn't safe for you, I'll have to visit you here in Redview. Once I get things squared away, maybe you can come back and stay over the weekend or during a holiday."

I hated that my own home, one I'd lived in for eighteen years, wasn't 'safe' for me. It was all I knew. Living with strangers seemed worse than living with my mom in my childhood home.

At least Mom was willing to work with me. At least she wanted me to come back home. Hopefully, that could happen sooner, rather than later.

"How often do you think you can visit?" I wanted Mom to come over every day after work and stay on the weekends but I knew that was a long shot. Mom worked long evenings most nights depending on what trial or case she was working on. There were some times when I never saw her for a few days. So I was just lucky that she was willing to come at all.

"I was hoping to come almost every weekend. I'm not sure how busy I'll be with work but I'll do my best to come up to see you."

I was really hoping Mom wouldn't get too busy with work. I knew it was a lot to ask considering I was just a kid who had people taking care of me. Her work was important and while I was too, I was being taken care of.

Mom reached over and put her hand on mine. "Just because we won't be living together, it doesn't mean that we can't see each other. Eric and Theo are willing to help us however we need."

"Don't use work as an excuse not to come visit."

"I promise I won't."

I was going to hold her to that promise.