Game Over: Life's Over

Keeping Our Options Open

I didn't know anything about the couple I was going to meet. Would they be nice? Did they like kids at all or was this just a ploy to earn some money on the side? I had heard enough horror stories about foster kids that it made me a bit guarded.

Mom headed downstairs first, wanting to be a good host and not keep our guests waiting. She put on a smile that she wore often in court so she would seem convincing. Was she worried I was going to give off a bad first impression?

I walked down the steps a bit slower than Mom, giving myself a chance to catch my breath and prepare myself. I hated that suddenly every decision I made was a big one that would impact my life in a major way. I didn't like the responsibility, even if it would only last a few more weeks.

The couple that sat on the couch was different from what I was expecting. Two men sat beside one another. The one closer to me wore a black T-shirt with a pair of light-wash jeans and white tennis shoes. He had short, dark hair cut close to his scalp. He was thin whereas the other man appeared a bit bigger. He wore a light jean jacket over a white V-neck with black skinny jeans and Birkenstocks. His dark curls looked wet from the product he was using.

They both stood as I entered the living room. Unsurprisingly, they towered over me.

"It's nice to meet you, Jacob. I'm Theo and this is my husband Eric." The man who appeared larger than the other seemed to be more outgoing than his husband was. He outstretched his hand toward me and I noticed several rings on his fingers.

I glanced at Mom, hoping she would redirect the conversation so I wouldn't have to fake being nice.

She nodded her head toward the men and I realized she was going to make me suffer. I had a feeling she liked watching me suffer.

Against my better wishes, I shook the man's hand. How many more times would I have to meet people and deal with introductions and formalities?

The thinner man, Eric, spoke after I shook his head. "Thank you for meeting us. We've been on the list for a while now. Even with all the guidelines we have to follow, it seems that there are a lot of people who want to be caregivers but not as many who need caring for."

I sat down in the only chair left in the room. "How'd you find out about me?"

"We live in Carson City and we're quite familiar with the doctor there. We understand there aren't too many doctors who will work with people with this condition. We asked to be put on the list to be potential caregivers a couple of years ago since we knew we wanted to stay in Carson City for a long time and, obviously, we can't have children of our own. Your doctor must have thought you could be a good match for us and sent our information to your mom." Theo looked between the two of us as he spoke.

"Why do you want to deal with someone like me? Isn't that a lot of work for you guys?"

"We're okay with that. We understand there will be a transition period while everyone gets used to things and the new changes that we will have to go through. But we're expecting that."

"What if I don't pick you guys?"

"Then we just keep looking. As do you and your mom."

I stared down at my knee that was drawn up to my chest. It felt like a life-altering decision and I wasn't sure I was ready for that. I also didn't really want anyone else to make it for me. I wanted to be comfortable and like who I was being stuck with. It couldn't just be any person or couple. "So... like, how would this work then? Like after... My mom said I wouldn't be able to stay with her because she has to work during the day."

Eric spoke up to answer my question. "Your mom can always sign up to be your caregiver so she can have you in the evenings when she is home to watch you. But until then, you'd be living with us."

My eyes widened. There was always talk of having to live with a caregiver once I turned eighteen but I never actually thought it would happen. I thought Mom would be able to figure everything out so it wouldn't need to happen.

He noticed my panic and continued his thoughts to ease my fears. Or at least explain himself more. "There is a risk that you could... regress without it being noticeable and we wouldn't know."

"The home you live in has to be approved before you can stay there. We have to have the right accommodations for you so you don't get hurt." Theo was quick to fill in the gaps that Eric was missing. It made me wonder how many times they met with a potential match before they came to see Mom and me.

"Why would I get hurt?"

"There's always the chance you could fall out of bed or fall down the steps or burn yourself on the stove."

"So you'd have to baby-proof the place for me?" How humiliating.

"Don't think of it as baby-proofing. We're just making sure we're doing what we need to to keep you safe and out of harm's way."

I rolled my eyes. It was baby-proofing regardless of how much he tried sugar-coating it. There was no denying what they were doing.

"Jake, this is stuff you wouldn't even notice. You don't have to worry about it." Mom's voice was soft and gentle, like she was coddling me. Like I was already a baby.

"I don't see why any of this is necessary. Why can't I just stay here? Why does everything have to change when there's no guarantee that I will once I turn eighteen?"

Mom sat forward in her seat and collapsed her hands together. "It's all just precautionary, honey. We have to prepare for whatever could happen."

I could feel I was on the verge of a meltdown and I really didn't want to cry and lose my shit in front of Eric and Theo when they were just meeting me for the first time. It would have confirmed everything they either thought or were told about me and I didn't want to do that.

I sighed in hopes of releasing some of my anxiety and wrapped my arms around my knee. I rested my chin on top to calm the quivering of my lip.

"This is your decision, Jacob. You get the final say here. All we want is for you to be comfortable and happy. We understand the circumstances aren't what you want so we don't plan on being overly pushy with the rules. We want to make things as easy for you as we can." Theo seemed to mirror Mom's tone of voice like he'd done it before. He seemed to be the softie between him and Eric.

I didn't want to like them when I hated everything about why they were visiting us. I knew they had to and I knew I had to get a caregiver whether I wanted one or not but I didn't want to get attached to anyone who wasn't my blood family. I didn't want to give in to the miserable life I was about to be shoved into.

I had a lot to think about.