Game Over: Life's Over

My Time With You

I slept perfectly fine that night with Mom. Her blankets were the perfect warmth to combat the air conditioning in the house. I also slept better knowing Mom was there.

Mom was up before me the next morning. She liked getting her day started early. She was always so busy that she probably wanted to take advantage of the daylight before there wasn't time to get everything done.

As for me... I liked my sleep.

I had to force myself awake. Mom's bed was so comfortable. I had a hard time opening my eyes and not letting myself go back to sleep. But I wanted to enjoy my time with Mom and I couldn't do that if I was asleep.

I pushed back the blankets and got out of bed. My diaper squished before drooping between my legs.

I groaned and did my best to make it to the hallway. I yelled down the steps for Mom.

She appeared at the bottom of the steps in just a few seconds. She grimaced. "Looks like you need changed."

I made a face. "You don't have to say it like that."

She rolled her eyes. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"You clearly don't know me that well."

She put a hand on my shoulder and turned me toward my room. "Honey, relax. You worry too much."

"Ever wonder who I get it from?"

She pulled a diaper and a pack of wipes from my diaper bag. "I have plenty to worry about. Like you, for instance."

I sat down on my bed and laid back. "I wish I had stupid stuff to worry about. Not this stuff."

"You know, you still have to think about what we're doing today. You never told me what you want to do."

"Can we go to the lake? We haven't been there in forever."

"Did you bring anything to swim in?"

"I don't think so. Just regular clothes."

"Well, you can get in the water in shorts but your diaper is going to collect all the water. We should get you some swim diapers before we go."

"Swim diapers?"

She nodded and finished taping up my diaper. "They're meant for the water. They don't absorb much."

"But doesn't that kind of stop the diaper from doing what it's supposed to?"

"Well, you'll still have to wear a normal diaper with them but it helps."

I wasn't very convinced but I never dealt with swim diapers before. I had to trust that Mom knew what she was doing. After all, she raised me when I was a baby the first time.

"Let me get some things ready and then we can go. Do you want something to eat before we leave?"

I nodded.

"Go ahead and get dressed. I'll get you something to eat."

---

We hadn't been to the lake in years. Mom was always busy with work and I was always with Alex. I went more with Alex and his family than I did with Mom.

The nice thing about it was it hadn't changed. It was still the same lake with a sandy beach and various boat rentals sprinkled here and there.

Mom pulled into a parking spot and turned to look at me. "We have to put the swim diaper on before you can get in the water. Let's find a bathroom so you can put it on."

My eyes widened. I knew I'd have to put the swim diaper on somehow. I just hadn't thought about where that would be. I didn't like the thought of doing it somewhere so public.

"They're like pull-ups, Jake. You just pull it on over your diaper. We don't have to use a changing table."

"I don't want anyone to see me."

She glanced at the seat beside me. "The only other option is here in the car."

I sighed. I didn't like any of my options but the car seemed safer than carrying it into the bathroom. "Fine."

"I'll get stuff out of the back while you get ready." She reached over to the passenger seat and opened the pack of swim diapers. She handed one back to me.

I let out the breath I was holding and unbuckled myself. I climbed over to the middle seat and started changing. I was hoping that using the swim diaper wouldn't be so awful that I wouldn't want to get in the water anymore. I liked swimming so I would have hated to give it up.

Mom had the car unpacked by the time I got out. The swim diaper wasn't much bulkier than my regular diaper. Together, it provided more padding than I would have liked. Luckily, my shorts hid it pretty well.

Mom handed me my diaper bag to carry before she picked up the chairs she'd packed. We headed through the parking lot and down the grassy hill that led to the beach. It wasn't very busy even though the weather was nice. Maybe it would pick up more as the day went on.

We found an unused umbrella and decided to set up underneath it. Mom put the chairs down right away and unfolded them. She set down the beach bag on her chair and pulled out a towel for me to use. She draped it on the back of my chair.

I put the diaper bag under my chair, hoping to hide it as much as I could. It didn't look like it held diapers in it but most didn't anymore. If someone knew what to look for, they could spot it. The thing that always worried me the most about my condition was thinking others knew and were going to judge me for being different. The less people knew or suspected, the better.

I kicked off my sandals and looked at the lake. The water was glistening in the sun. It was a dark blue with green near the dirt and grass edges. It wasn't the cleanest water but it would do. It was better than not having anywhere to go swimming.

"Jake, I have some rules I need you to follow if you go in the water."

I turned back to Mom and raised my eyebrows. I wasn't used to her giving me rules to follow.

"I need you to stay within my eyesight. If you want to walk somewhere, you have to come and tell me. And don't go out into the water so far that it goes above your belly button."

I looked down at my stomach. That wasn't going to be very much water once I got in. "Seriously? I know how to swim."

Mom sighed and leaned forward so her arms rested on her knees. "Jake, normally I wouldn't give you any rules and just let you enjoy yourself. But things are a bit different now. I don't want anything to happen to you."

I couldn't really fault her for following the rules and doing what she was supposed to. If she didn't follow the rules that the government put in place for people like me, I could lose any and all visits with her.

She gave me a smile and put her sunglasses on. "Go swim."

"You're not going to work, are you?" Mom did everything she could to fit work in on her time off. She loved staying busy.

She shook her head. "Nope. I just want to enjoy my time with you."