Game Over: Life's Over

Shrunk

I set my clothes on the counter by the sink, covering up the diaper from view in case Mom came into the bathroom while I was getting a shower. I was sure she knew that I used them but I wanted a little bit of privacy.

I turned on the hot water and let it start running as I removed my old clothes. A hamper sat beside the door for me to toss my clothes into. I put my t-shirt and sweatpants in the half-full hamper, cringing at how bad they smelled. Laying in bed and not showering really wasn't doing me any favors. I quickly shed the diaper I was wearing and put it into the trash can, grateful it was one with a lid so it wasn't immediately obvious to anyone who entered.

I rubbed my eyes as I made my way to the tub. I slowly got in and pulled the curtain shut, shrowding myself in a little bit of darkness. The steam from the hot water also helped to give me more seclusion. It was nice considering what I was dealing with on a regular basis.

I grabbed the shampoo bottle and squirted a decent-sized amount into my palm. I let the water coat my hair before rubbing the liquid between my hands. I ran the shampoo through my hair and worked it until it suds up around my brown strands. My hair was in serious need of a trim but I had no clue where to go to get it done. I was sure Eric or Theo knew but it was a weird thing to ask regardless.

I closed my eyes and stepped back so I was under the stream of the water. The shampoo and water mixture ran down my back and helped to relax my muscles and take away a bit of the weight I had on my shoulders. I knew that having caregivers meant I had someone to help shoulder some of my burdens and stress and ease me into a fairly easy life. I wanted to let them help me but it was weird to let adults do everything for me when I spent a lot of my life learning to be more independent and take care of myself so Mom wouldn't have to. It was hard to unlearn something I'd spent so long doing.

I grabbed the loofa that hung from the shower head and squirted soap onto it. The soap smelled like pine and had a weird logo with a gorilla on it. I wasn't sure why the bottle couldn't just have a cool design or logo for the company rather than animals. It seemed a bit ridiculous.

As I set the bottle down on the corner shelf, I noticed something... off. I glanced down at myself and noticed a difference in something that should have stayed the same, for the most part.

My... manhood, or whatever people called it, was noticeably smaller. Probably half the size it had been before. It literally shrunk and not in the way that happens when it goes from hard to soft.

This was way different.

I cursed to myself and squeezed my eyes shut tightly. There was no fixing this. I knew that. Just like my bladder issues, there was no fixing a noticeable change in my body.

Fuck.

I quickly finished up in the shower and stepped out. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself at my shoulders, hoping it would cover everything. I didn't want to look at myself if I was changing so much.

The bad news just kept coming. Every time I would get up from being so low and down, something else would happen. I just couldn't catch a break.

I walked over to the door and opened it just enough that my voice could escape. "Mom?"

It took her a few seconds before she responded from the hallway. "Yeah?"

"Can you get Theo for me?"

"Are you sure I can't help? I'm right here."

I shook my head. "No, I need Theo."

"Alright. I'll go get him."

I shut the door once more and pressed my forehead to it. This couldn't be happening to me.

It only took Theo a minute or two to come upstairs. He had been giving Mom and me space since she came over. He didn't want to hover when she was perfectly capable of helping me and spending time with me. But he was aware that there were some things I didn't want Mom's help with.

He knocked on the door. "Jacob?"

I opened the door and stepped back.

Theo stepped into the bathroom but didn't make a move to shut the door. I closed it behind him and quickly turned away from the mirror.

"Do you need help with your diaper?"

"Yes and no."

Theo lifted an eyebrow. "I'm not following you here."

I let out a quick breath. I was so nervous. I could feel my hands shaking as they gripped the towel I had around my body. "Something's wrong and I... I don't know what to do."

"Okay. Can you elaborate more for me?"

I felt tears building in my eyes. I quickly shut them to prevent the tears from falling and opened the towel just enough for Theo to see what I was talking about. "I-I wasn't... I didn't look like this a few days ago. I don't know what to do."

Theo was silent for a few seconds and it sent me spiraling. I didn't know what his silence meant and it really had me freaking out even more than I already was.

"Okay, why are you quiet? Is it that bad?"

Theo quickly responded. "No, Jake. No, it's not bad. I'm just not sure what we do here. I can talk to Eric but I think this might be something for Dr. Simmons. We see her on Tuesday for a check-up anyway."

"I really don't want to tell her."

"Jake, she's your doctor. If we tell anyone, it's her. She'll know what the next step is."

I groaned and rubbed my eyes on the back of my arm. "I just... I hate getting more people involved in this. It's already embarrassing enough."

Theo grabbed my diaper out from under my pile of clothes. "I'm sure Dr. Simmons has seen this before. She's seen plenty of patients with your condition so she's the best person to help us."

I knew Dr. Simmons was the right person to tell. She was the one who could help us the most through everything I had thrown at me. But I hated having to open up about stuff that embarrassed me and made me feel like there was something wrong with me. To them, my issues were just problems to be fixed. To me, it was something I had to live with. Something that wouldn't ever go away.

I tossed my towel on the floor and sat down on it. I laid back and let Theo put the diaper on me. I still didn't like wearing them but it was better than having an accident in underwear or boxers.

He helped me put my sweatpants on and then he put the towel in the hamper. "Don't be embarrassed by this, Jacob. I know it's difficult for you but we'll get through it."

Tears started coming and I quickly covered my face with my hands. "I just hate this so much."

He moved to sit beside me and wrapped his arm around me. "You've had a lot of changes thrown at you all at once. I know this has been hard on you. I know adjusting to all of these changes hasn't been easy. But I want you to know that you're doing such a good job and I'm really proud of you."

I leaned into his chest and wiped my hands on my pants. "This really sucks."

"I'm sorry, Jake. Do you want me to go get your mom?"

I shook my head. "Can we just stay here for a few minutes? I'm not ready to go out yet."

"Yeah, that's okay. Take all the time you need."

"Can I have my shirt?"

He reached behind him and grabbed my t-shirt. He helped me put it on and I wrapped my arms around myself to trap some heat to my chest. The room was warm and damp from the heat of the water but I was still a little cold since getting out of it and getting dry.

"And... Theo?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you... tell Eric and my mom so I don't have to?"

"Of course. Whatever you need."

"Thanks, Theo."