When I woke up, he was gone. He was probably chasing her, going to save her, going to be with her.
"Mama, get up, Dad said that he is taking us hiking."
"When did he say that?"
"This morning, he said he had to do something quickly but he was coming back and we would go hiking!" she screams excitedly "I have never been hiking, have you?"
"Uhm, no, Nana, your mom tends to be afraid of heights."
"It's okay, I will show you how to be brave." a giggle escapes my lips
"Okay, Khanyi, let me get ready and we shall wait for your dad."
"He is your husband!" is he?
"Yeah," the disappointment in my voice was tangible and it hurts that the future is so uncertain.
He was there to take us hiking, Greta went to the spa instead, she said holidays are for relaxing not exercising. I wish I could stay with her but I would like to do something, get out of my mind.
We had a guide and he was good but I would prefer it if he shut up. Khanyi was asking a million questions as she always is, she is so eager to learn and she got that from her father.
He is barely looking at me, and if I am being honest, I did want him to look, I wanted him to notice, I wanted him to be aware, to see me but I do not know why I thought he would when for months he has been pinning for another woman.
On the way back, he gave Khanyi a piggie back ride, I took a video of it and kept it to myself. She is her daddy's daughter and all I want is for her to be happy, with or without me.
They warn, do not centre your existence around a person, like a fool I let the advice go over my head and now here I am experiencing rejection and I can barely breathe, I can barely think.
I fell in love with him at nineteen and I have been devoted to him for twelve years and I have not been perfect but I loved him, I adored him and this is what I get, tossed to the side because someone better came along?
"Kamo, we are going to get ice cream, are you coming?" he asks
"No, you two go and have some bonding time." Khanyi happily pulls her father out of the room leaving me to my devices.
I always promised to love him and he never promised me the same, I just assumed it would be reciprocated but that is where I made the mistake, I assumed when I barely had all the facts and now here I am sulking because I can not bare to watch him walk away but I feel helpless, what am I to do?
I can barely call my friends because I feel ashamed and embarrassed and I do not know what to do anymore, it is starting to become a bit much for my shoulders to bare but I have no one to carry the weight with.
When they got back, Khanyi went swimming wuth her grandmother while her father began frantically packing his bags
"Where are you going?"
"I have some business I need to handle." he says barely looking at me
"So you are not going to Anya?"
"Not everything is about fucking Anya!" Kai rarely raises his voice at me, him screaming tells me that I struck a nerve.
"You know what, leave then, leave me all over again, it is what you are good at!"
"Kamo, you are so infuriating! You know I have to leave!"
"I barely know you, the man I married would not find another woman attractive, the man I married was..."
"IS GONE! HE IS FUCKING GONE!"
"What?" barely a sound comes out of me
"You think I like leaving my family for months on end? Do you think losing a child was easy for me? You fell into a depression and buried yourself in work! You barely see me, if anything, you are not the woman I married."
"That is why you found someone else?"
"I didn't find someone else!"
"You developed a bond with another woman! Had I done that, you would have taken my child away."
"See you can't even focus on me, everything has to be about you, your needs, your wants, your feelings. I am a person too for fuck sake! I matter and maybe that is why I developed a bond with Anya but that does not fucking matter because I want to matter to you! For fucks sake." he says before taking his belongings and leaving
What the fuck was that shitshow?
*******
Listen, I am loving the drama😭😭 maybe a little too much🙈
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Agent Assassin's Achilles ✔️
Romance[Book 2] Kamo, Kaiser, and Khanyi are now living in New York. Kamo is running a successful business, Khanyi is about to finish grade six and Kaiser is an unofficial CIA asset. With him being miles away for months at a time, how does that affect h...
