Agent Assassin's Achilles ✔️

36.Need You Now

After long chats with her parents, Juliana was allowed to come to my house to learn. Isa and I also spoke to other students who would be interested in this opportunity. We have four other students who are interested in studying in America.

Isa has moved back into her house and while I was hesitant at first, I knew it was her decision and if she felt ready enough to do so, I should let her.

Kaiser and I are still yet to get a dog, we keep pushing it back.

"Can you make me Schweineschnitzel?" he nods, he seems out of it today, I wanted to ask but it felt like he needed space. "Ratu?" [Translation: Love of mine]

He looks at me and I see the sadness in his eyes, like deep pools in his green-brown eyes. My hand on his cheek, I try to stir warmth in him.

"Can I talk to you?" he nods and I lead him to the bedroom, he sits down, ready to listen. "What is it?"

"Is what?"

"What is making you sad today?"

"Nothing." he dismisses

"Moratuoa, I am here for you. I am your shoulder and when you need me, I am here." a kiss on his forehead and I stand up to leave. [Translation: Darling]

He catches my arm, stopping me from leaving.

"I was thinking about the life we had and it made me miss my mother and Khanyi." he leans back and lays on the bed. I lay down with him, reaching for his hand, and intertwine our fingers. "We had a great life in Norfolk and an even better one in Bali, everything was perfect."

"Life is full of changes and we have to navigate them."

"So many lows. Sometimes I feel like I am bad luck."

"I feel like that too sometimes but bad things happen to good people."

"We deserve better."

"We do and we can work towards better."

"I feel like we try so much harder than everyone else."

"We do, baby. Look, I could never remove the sadness you feel but I can love you through all the lows we come across."

"Having you beside me is enough to make me wake up to live another day." cupping his face, I join our lips

"I love you."

"And I am in love with you."

"Of course you are." and he laughs, a hearty laugh before planting a kiss on my forehead.

"I need to make you some schweineschnitzel."

"Yeah. After dinner, do you think we could watch a movie together?"

"What movie?"

"We'll see what is new and available." he nods. He stands up and I catch his arm to stop him from leaving just yet. "I'm always here for you."

"I know, Mein Liebe."

"Just making sure." I think after so many years together, it gets illogical to be insecure that he might leave me but the only way I know to stop those feelings is by giving us everything I can and sometimes I wonder if it is the same for him.

While living here, afforded us a life without intelligence agency intrusion, it kept us from family, from connections that we spent twenty plus years building and that coupled with the loss of our parents and children sometimes made the loneliness seep in deep into our hearts.

Every parent has certain moments they dream about sharing with their child when they get to a certain age and in a moment, all our dreams of weddings, proms, graduations and happiness were gone.