Agent Assassin's Achilles ✔️

9. What About Me?

I needed to make the most of this time with our family. It is winter in South Africa so our options were limited but not empty. We went glamping with my dad, March and Greta.

We made smores, and Khanyi kept getting the marshmallow on her fingers. We went hiking and I got to shoot an antelope, it was a bit scary but I got it. My dad helped me skin it and we took the meat to a butchery to get slaughtered and he even braaied it for us.

We also watched the stars, my dad, March and Greta exchanged stories about having an empty nest and I always imagined that after Khanyi goes to University, that would be us. That we would be happy in love, enjoying each other and our company.

When we got back home, I planned a vacation to Lesotho, we are going skiing and also visiting family. My dad, March and Greta were coming along.

Khanyi was excited to go skiing, she usually only goes during Christmas break with Kai. When we got to Maseru, we went shopping for gear and coats, it is definitely colder than I expected.

We went tubing and skiing as a family and while everyone was going up and down the mountain, I was taking videos and cheering them on.

After a while, we went back inside to enjoy hot beverages with cookies and muffins.

"I think I am getting sick."

"Would you like to go to the doctor?"

"Maybe if I am worse tomorrow but for now, I would like to take a nap."

"Okay, I will check on you later and tomorrow." she nods before standing up and heading to her room.

"Am I sleeping with you tonight?"

"Yes, baby." she nods

"Can you send this to dad, I want to show him how brave I am?" she asks showing me a video I took of her skiing

"Okay, let me send it to him now before I forget." she spends time looking at the other videos, eating cookies and drinking her hot chocolate.

"Has he replied?" I allow her to check and he has not

"We will call him later okay?" she nods "And we can have a movie marathon, any movie besides action, thriller and horror."

"Can we get a snack?"

"Of course." we get up and go to buy snacks. March and my dad said they are having an early night. Once we have the snack we stop at a few clothing stores and buy a few things.

After putting on our face masks and taking pictures of each other, we get into bed with our snacks beside us and the Disney+ connected to the TV.

I dial his number and before the call connects, Khanyi sits closer to the TV. "Hey, baby girl."

"Hey dad, did you see the video Mom sent you?"

"I did, you were so brave, was it fun doing it alone?"

"It was, but I also did it with Grandpa and Oma. Mama nearly fell when she was tubing, I think Oma has the video but she said she might be sick so she is sleeping."

"Oh, so what are you going to do?"

"We are going to watch Disney movies. When are you coming back?"

"That is a difficult question, but I will be there for your first day of school."

"Okay." they continue talking and I keep scrolling on my phone.

"Kamo," he calls my attention to the screen "Good night, Kitten."

"Good Night Kai." he hangs up and we start watching Princess and the frog followed by Brave, Pocahontas, Aladdin and Mulan.

When we woke up, Greta was worse but March showed signs of being sick as well so my dad took them to a doctor while Khanyi and I went skiing again.

As we get to the top of the mountain, a cute family is going down together and I can not help but think of my husband. He should be here with us, he loves skiing, he loves spending time with Khanyi and he should be able to make memories with his daughter.

A few days after, we head to Leribe to see my family. We do not come here often and it's mostly because they are nosy.

"Look what the cat dragged in!" my aunt rejoices

"Lumela, how is everyone?"

"We are good, the last time I saw you was a few years ago."

"It has been a while since I have been here, you guys remember Khanyisile, my daughter."

"Oh yeah, hey, you probably do not remember me but I used to take care of your mom and I saw you when you were three."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I can tell that you are not as troublesome as your mother was when she was your age."

"What did she do?"

"She used to fight the chickens in the back."

"You have chickens?" my aunt nods "Mama can I see them?" I nod and they head to the back.

"Where is the husband?" my cousin asks

"He is working, he wanted to be here but work comes first."

"Oh, so how long have you been married?" the other chimes in

"Uhm, almost nine years."

"What is your secret?" this feels like an interrogation

"I do not have one."

"You have to have one."

"I don't. Maybe if you asked my dad but I just mimic what I had growing up."

"How sure are you he is faithful?"

"I trust my husband." do I? Do I really?

"Girl, they all do." we continue talking and they seem invested in my relationship.

We have lunch together before making our way back to the hotel. We are headed back to Norfolk and Greta is better.

A few days before we have to go back home and we head to the graveyard. Two years ago, Kai and I got my mother a new tombstone, one with her picture on it so that we could look at it when visiting her.

"Hey Grandma, I am now eleven and we went skiing a few days ago. My dad is not here this time but he said I should tell you that he misses you." she continues offloading and I allow her, space and time to get things off her chest.

After her and my dad are done, they head back to the car and I stay to talk.

"Hey Ma, if you knew the shit I have been going through, you would hug me and I could really use it. He likes someone else, how could he do that to me? I give him twelve years of my life dealing with his bullshit, the assassin crap, the CIA bullshit, I mean we were having such a perfect life in Bali but his past just keeps coming to steal more from me. I can not let him go, I will not let him go but I do not know how to make him stay." I take a moment to wipe the tears from my eyes before I stare at her picture. "I am not letting him leave me, that I know for sure."

********

Has she gone mad? Maybe but she has always been slightly deranged.