CARNAL DESIRES | | NCT

Chapter 36

Haechan's POV

Uneasiness pooled in the pit of my stomach as I paced outside the room Mark was being checked over in. My mind was a messy haze of trepidation as my nerves began to get the best of me. Thoughts of whether Chenle and Jisung would make it through the night plagued my mind. On top of that, I was starting to become restless as I waited for an update about my mate's condition. I was still awestruck that Mark risked his life to come looking for me during the attack despite me avoiding him like some plague.

The look of concern and the smallest hint of fear that I saw written on his face tonight had me rethinking my decision to walk out on him after our kiss. His expression alone had me feeling as if I was a bit too hasty in believing that Mark would regret caving into the palpable connection between us. Just maybe he was beginning to feel our bond.
My heart fluttered at that thought.

I didn't want to admit it, but I silently prayed to the Moon Goddess that Mark was beginning to feel the same things I felt for him. Even if those feelings were fleeting. Still pacing, my ears perked at the sound of the door in front of me opening as the Fae who was assessing Mark's wound exited.

With a shocked expression he exclaimed "Your highness!....Forgive me, but were waiting out in the hall all this time?" Nervously I said to the male "Yes...is everything okay?" while I leaned slightly to the left to take a glance in the room. "Yes, besides his filthy mouth...the human is fine."

I involuntarily winced as the Fae before me use the term human to address Mark. I could feel an ember of rage bloom within my chest but instead of giving in to my emotions I simply said "Thank you for taking the time to look him over....but his name is Mark. You should address him as such." Taking note of my glare the Fae hastily whispered "Of course your majesty...I'll check on the others."

Upon hearing the receding sound of the Fae's quickened steps, I nervously entered the room with my mate while gently closing the door behind me. Instantaneously , I felt my heart beat accelerate as my eyes landed on Mark's figure in the corner of the room. His back was turned towards me and I silently stood in the corner of the room as I watched him fumble with his shirt while he checked out his newly bandaged chest.

Feeling the need to break the silence I let out "You shouldn't be standing...although you have the all clear you still need rest." At the sound of my voice Mark's entire body tensed up and after what felt like an eternity he finally turned around to face me.

My breathe caught in my throat as I locked eyes with his. Anger and something else I couldn't quite decipher took turns dancing through his dark brown eyes as they seemed to burn through me. The room suddenly felt thick with tension as Mark said "I'm fine...". Feeling lost for words, I only starred at Mark as he began putting on his shirt. Soon enough he started reaching for the other items that he had to discard when he came in to get check over. A sense of panic rushed through me as I stammered out "What are you doing?" With his back still to me Mark responded "What does it look like? I'm leaving".

At those words my heart plummeted as I felt the color drain from my face. My mind was having trouble processing what Mark was saying to me and I stupidly retorted "Y-you're leaving ? Why?" Mark then stopped what he was doing and looked at me as if I was oddest thing he had ever come across in his entire existence. "I need to go back home..besides I found my brother. What else do I need to stay for?"

His question had my heart seizing as if millions cracks were rippling through its fragile surface. Tears soon began to gather behind my eyes and my vision became blurry as Mark's words finally took root as my world began to shatter. He was going to leave and I was never going to see him again.

Guilt, regret and sorrow consumed me all at once as I realized that there was nothing that I could do or say that would Mark stay. Feeling as if there was an inner war within myself I let my head fall as I reluctantly accepted what my mate was telling me. Silent tears now cascaded down my face as I painfully let go of the idea of what we could've been. Mark was right. He needed to be with the rest of his family and as much as it would hurt; I would much rather live in an eternity of anguish than force my mate to live a lifetime in misery.