For The Love Of A Snake

Chapter 15: The Agreement

When Garreths lips parted from my own he didn't continue to kiss me, instead he brushed a couple curls from my face. "You are incredibly beautiful Ruby" his voice was soft and kind. Kissing him wasn't anything like kissing Sebastian. In fact his kiss didn't really give me any feelings at all. I didn't blush, goosebumps didn't travel throughout my skin, and my heart stayed at its normal place. It felt dull as if something were missing. I knew what it was, I knew what my heart longed for.

     "Garreth, I..." I began to explain that I didn't think I'd be able to get over Sebastian so easily but he quickly cut me off.

    "Give it time... please" he gripped my hand tightly. I could see how much he pleaded within his eyes. "I don't care if he's all you think about right now. I'm willing to wait until you figure it out" he was genuine  in his response and I appreciated the understanding. I hadn't expected him to be so willing to wait around on me.

     "I truly don't know what will happen Garreth. I haven't even seen him in three months. I don't know if I'll ever see him again. It's just so confusing. I haven't gotten any sense of closure and I think that's why it's so hard for me to let go. I'm angry with him Garreth. I'm so angry" I found myself able to talk to him about it without feeling like I had to hold back my feelings anymore.

    "You have every right to be angry. I'm even angry at him" he exclaimed, surprising me with his words. I gave him a confused look in response so he continued. "I'm angry with him for doing this to you. He doesn't see what he has right in front of him. He literally has left you hanging for so long now and I'm stuck waiting on you, waiting for him. I'm not mad at you for it, it's not your fault. I just wish you didn't have to be so lost" he sighed at this releasing my hand.

    He stared off into the town for a while before speaking again. "I know this is going to sound like a ridiculous idea and honestly I'm playing with fire saying it out loud but take your anger with Sallow...out on me. Ruby before you argue with me let me explain" he said while looking back at me. He had my attention with his statement. "Go out with me. Whenever you feel angry at Sallow, or miss him, or whatever you may feel towards him kiss me instead. Maybe eventually you'll stop thinking about him and start thinking about me instead" he sighed before continuing. "You don't have to call me your boyfriend and you don't have to spend every second with me but this way I at least get a chance at winning you over" he gave me a dry smile after he finished saying what he wanted to say.

   I felt a pant of guilt enter me as I found myself thinking more deeply about the look that would be upon Sebastian's face if he saw Garreth kissing me, rather than what Garreth had just said. I didn't see how being somewhat romantically involved with Garreth could hurt. After all I didn't have a boyfriend and the closest thing to my boyfriend was MIA for the last three months. The chaotic part of me desperately wanted to see Sebastian's face when he returned and saw me wrapped up in Garreth's arms. In a sense I also thought Garreth deserved a chance at changing my mind, I didn't think it would work in his favor but having a bit of fun while waiting for closure from Sebastian would definitely get my mind off of things.

     "Okay, but we aren't dating Garreth. I want to make that clear. We are simply friends who also have certain benefits with one another until someone ends those benefits" I stated to him firmly laying down my boundaries. "I want to be honest with you as well Garreth. I want to make Sebastian jealous. That's the biggest reason I will agree to this" I wasn't going to lie to him, he needed to know that I wasn't in it for any other reason.

    "Okay, okay. I'm still going to keep my hopes up though. Hell if it fails and you still end up with Sallow he will have won you over fair and square. Even though I think your crazy for even liking the dude" he teased playfully shoving me. This was the Garreth I had gotten to know, he never let rejection or emotions get the better of him.

    "Thank you for being understanding"  I gave him a smile and leaned into his shoulder once more, this time it felt more comfortable as I had been honest about my intentions.

    "Come on, let's head back to the castle" he stood up holding out his hand for me to take. I took his hand and he led us back to Hogwarts. I didn't know if this was a good idea or not but something in me didn't care. I was hurting because of Sebastian, he deserved to see someone else treat me well after leaving me in the state that he did.

      Once we arrived back at Hogwarts we studied together, ate together and spent our free time together. He never pressured me to be romantic with him and instead continued to act like my friend. That night he walked me back to my dorm and gave me a kiss on the cheek, promising to see me the next day. The winter break came and went fast. Most of our days were spent studying but every now and then we'd find the time to get out of the castle and sit on the hill above Hogsmede. For the first time in months my mind wasn't on Sebastian, he didn't occupy every dream and I felt somewhat free from the torment he had caused me over the last three months. 

       On the last night of winter break Garreth took me to the Astronomy tower to look out on the grounds of Hogwarts. The schools land was truly beautiful. The moon gleamed down on us and stars shimmered brightly in the sky. I looked out at the land and ocean below while Garreth had wrapped his arms around my waist behind me to keep me warm in the breeze. "I know things will be different if he returns after break" his words were soft as he spoke but pained. I turned around in his arms to face him knowing that he was worrying about Sebastian's return.

     "I don't know what will happen" I told him bluntly because I truly had no idea what it would be like when I saw him again.

     "Ruby, if he returns I know our romantic relationship will all just be an act. I know I agreed to having it that way. That's on me for getting attached to the idea of you being mine and only mine, but before it becomes like that, would you kiss me? Kiss me as if what we have is real? Kiss me as if you had the same feelings that I do" His sorrowful eyes drove daggers into my own as he spoke. His hand brushed up against my face brushing my hair out of the way. He began to lean in towards me, his eyes glancing at my lips. I didn't stop him and instead kissed him back. Part of me knew I might eventually break his heart, so at least for tonight, I'd care for his heart instead.