Throughout the ceremony, I sit with Lori on one side of me and my mother on the other. It's a wonderful union of two people, very sentimental and elegant. There are flowers throughout the Cathedral, fairy lights draped down the aisle and this beautiful wedding arch that Betsy spent hours making.
She wanted it to be special, which is really great. It shows how much effort she's putting in, even though I'm sure it'll start to disintegrate the minute the honeymoon phase is over.
It always does.
"Who is that?" My mother nudges me lightly, motioning nonchalantly to the man in the back row
Turning in my chair, I roll my eyes softly. "That's Mark and Adams new boss." I whisper as I turn back to listen to Adam speak his vows.
"He's not bad looking, honey." She winks, a small smirk rolling across her face.
"Shh," I shake my head, almost giggling at how worried she is.
It's always a race to find a soulmate with her, even though I'm almost happy to say that I've given up on the whole love thing.
I had it all- the white picket fence, the two beautiful daughters, a caring husband and a nice home in the suburbs, but then it fell apart.
Now I have dog, a home right on the beach and a new car I bought right after I got my divorce settlement. I'm happy, really. I love my job, my life and I almost love being single. It's nice and she doesn't understand that.
"I'm just saying that he looks like a very well put together man, something I think you need at this point in your life." She says it like I'm a hundred years old and I'm not- I'm only forty- nine and I still have plenty of time to find happiness outside of Mark.
But I don't tell her that. Instead, I just shrug her off and watch my daughter make a huge transition in her life.
The rest is just as beautiful, even if Bridget is staring into space for most of it. She's so lost nowadays, I don't know what to do for her.
It's about an hour or so later when the ceremony is over and we all trail down the stairs to the reception hall, while the bridal party goes to take pictures.
"I need a drink," I need more than a drink, but Mark did pay for an open bar, so I might as well use it to my advantage.
"Me too," Lori knows all about my inner thoughts and though she would never tell me how wrong I am sometimes- I know she thinks it.
I can tell that she believes that I need to move on and I am in a different way.
I've learned that being single is actually really fun. For example, I took a trip to New York last month with a couple of women in my book club to see a play. It was last minute, and I didn't have to explain myself to anyone, which felt like true freedom. And I hadn't had that sort of leisure for a long time, because up until two years again, I was trapped in a twenty- five year marriage. So it feels good to be my own person, even if the thought of dying alone is really worrisome.
"You look so gorgeous, Stevie." Mary smiles as she lingers towards us.
"Thank you," I return her smile, because a part of me wants to believe that, but another part of me just can't.
