S:
"What do you think you're having?" He asks, hand still moving gently around my tummy.
"Umm," I crease a brow, taking his hand in mine so I can slide to the other side of the bed a little more. "Get comfortable, Lindsey." I can't help but laugh at how awkward we are.
It's like neither of us have ever had a real relationship and God knows that isn't true.
He half chuckles as he takes his jacket off and sets it at the foot of the bed. And then he flips on one side, hand resting on his head to hoist himself up.
I give him a light shrug. "I don't know what we're having, really." I really have no idea, because it all feels so different.
Before I only had one baby killing me internally, so by the time Bridget started moving around- I knew she was a girl. It felt the same with my girls, but now it's completely bizarre and I can't decide what I'm having.
"What do you want to have?" I ask softly, hand fiddling with my white comforter.
They seem to know who it is that's rubbing all over them, because they're having a battle in there to see who can kick moms rib cage the hardest. I think they're trying to impress their father, but that's normal.
When I was pregnant with the girls and Mark would touch my stomach, they'd go crazy.
"Well," he smiles lightly, looking up at me. "I want two healthy, happy babies." He assures as he allows his thumb to slowly run back and forth on my side. "What do you want?" He asks in return, but my answer is the exact same as his.
I don't care if I have two more daughters, or two new sons- I want them to be healthy babies as well. But that's probably my biggest concern. I know I have to stop thinking about it, but it's already driven me insane. My age is not 'just a number' when it comes to having children... I thought I was beyond my childbearing days, but now it's like I'm body has to undergo something that it just isn't meant for, which scares me.
We just sit there for a little while, talking about nothing in particular. I have to hand it to him, he is an interesting man. He knows a lot about music, and art which has always fascinated me as well. And as much as I'd hate to admit it, we have a lot in common. I'm not saying we're like the same person- I'm saying that I think we can be civil friends... though I don't think we can be much beyond that. It just doesn't seem to work if we try anything more strenuous.
"I think once the babies come, you should maybe stay here for a little while." I don't want him to get the wrong idea, but I also know that one of the important parts of being a parent is being there for those late night feedings, and early morning giggles.
I want him to be involved with these babies, because the bonding is always so tiring, but still so special.
"I like that idea," he half smirks, nodding lightly.
I have realized that he's kind of a go-with- the- flow kind of guy, which is exactly what I need right now. I need someone who's prepared to go through this unpredictable journey of parenthood, and though he's never experienced it- I know that he's going to be able to stay calm and be understanding.
"I mean, I think it'll just work better, especially with two." I don't want him to think that I'm trying to push something on him, because I'm not.
